Angels and Demons
by Liz Diz
Summary: Natasha Raimol moved to Boston hoping to start a new life. But after two strangers help her move in is it really the life she wanted? Fin.
1. Chapter One: Moving In

**A:N: **First Boondock Saints FF. Post movie. I only own my characters. Nothing else. I hope you enjoy and please review, I love reviews. Oh yeah as with all stories I right I have a poll for you. Read and do tell what you want.

**Chapter One**

**Moving In**

_Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking _

_When you fall everyone sins _

_Another day and you've had your fill of sinking _

_With the life held in your _

_Hands are shaking cold _

_These hands are meant to hold _

_Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong _

_Move along, move along like I know you do _

_And even when your hope is gone _

_Move along, move along just to make it through _

_Move along _

_Move along _

_So a day when you've lost yourself completely _

_Could be a night when your life ends _

_Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving _

_All the pain held in your _

_Hands are shaking cold _

_Your hands are mine to hold_

The key jiggled in the lock. It took a second but it opened the door. The landlord looked back at me. My eyes were narrow as we walked in. I hadn't expected it to be much. Not in South Boston anyway. It was better than most things I'd seen all day. It was a two-bedroom apartment with a living room and kitchen. Seventh floor ta boot. I hate heights. Not much to offer but still for three hundred a month I wasn't about to say no.

I walked in with a weak smile. "I like."

"Good." The landlord said, I looked around seeing several bullet holes; his thick Irish accent was shining through. "Just because you said that I'll offer it to you for two seventy-five a month."

I grinned back now. "I'm sold."

He smiled shaking my hand. "I must say," He began as I pulled out my wallet. "I think you're a little off your wack for wanting to stay here. Especially being a woman."

I handed him the money. "I can handle myself." I informed him with a growl. "Do you know where a good bar is around here? I need a job for a few weeks."

He nodded. "Check with Doc down the street." He informed her with a smile shoving the money in his pockets. I moved quietly removing my jacket and setting it on the floor. "He always has something open. Maybe not for someone who isn't Irish though."

"What's that got to do with anything?" I questioned taking the key from his hand to place on my key chain.

"Irish neighborhood lassie." He told me with a shrug looking me up and down. "And you're not Irish."

I shook my head walking out of the apartment. "I'm German and Persian. For the most part any way. I need to get my stuff from my truck." I informed him. "Can you help me?"

He shook his head itching his beard. "Sorry love. I've got to fix the plumbing in room four." He began to walk away and I sighed. "If you need anything just call."

"Thanks." I mumbled shutting the door and walking the rest of the way to my truck. I had about seven large boxes that I would need help with. I decided to load them up last. Taking the smaller boxes up in bundles. It was going to take forever. And I didn't have forever since it looked like it was about ready to rain. The clouds were so dark outside and it was only one in the afternoon.

I had moved to Boston after being offered a job in the local hospital as an ICU nurse. I was fresh out of college and was willing to take any job possible. I couldn't start for a couple weeks though so I needed a job to tie me over. I'd worked bartender plenty of times so I knew a bar would happily hire me. All through college I had worked bartender and a waitress. It wouldn't bug me to work without blood on me every day for a few more weeks.

I was only half way through the boxes when I realized someone was watching me. I had just made it down the steps when I noticed them. Two boys, leaning against a wall smoking on cigarettes, just watching me unload my boxes. I jumped up into the bed, they still watched.

I gave an annoyed sigh looking down briefly at the boxes. Well, if they were just going to watch.

I looked back up at them. "Are you two just going to stand there or do you want to give me a hand?"

"Are you talking to us?" One asked, his accent was just as thick as the landlords. He puffed out smoke with a smirk. I nodded. "You trust us?"

I shook my head. "No but I need help and you two won't stop watching."

The younger looking on smirked, his cigarette still in his mouth. "We were just waiting to see if you'd actually try to lift the bloody thing."

"Well," I began my hands on my hips. "I'll hand them to you if you follow me up to apartment 7-F."

The first one walked up to me and rested his arms on the truck. It was then I noticed the tattoos on his body. One on his hand the other on his neck. The Mother Mary. _Veritas_, truth, and _Aequitas_, justice. I smirked. "You just met us and you trust us enough to tell us where you live?"

"Catholic are we?" I pointed to his neck jumping out of the bed beside him. God I hate being short. "_Veritas_ as well?" I looked over to the other one. "And _Aequitas_ too?" I told him with a smirk. "I think I can trust. If not, then I plan on making sure both of you can never have children."

He gave a whistle and a laugh throwing his cigarette to the ground. "Kind of rude considering you're not Irish."

"And your point is?"

"He never has one." The other said with a smirk jumping into the truck. "Which one do you want gone first?"

I shrugged. "Just any I suppose." I grabbed a few lamps and I smiled at them. "I'm Natasha Raimol."

"Conner MacManus." The first introduced himself, extending his hand. I shook it. He pointed back to the other man. "This is my brother Murphy."

"Younger?" I questioned them walking back towards the stairs.

"I hope." He told me while Murphy handed him a large box.

"You wish." Murphy smirked jumping from the truck to grab a box. I raised an eyebrow in confusion. "We're twins. Our mother won't tell us which one came first."

I snickered. "The one with the bigger cock." They looked at me confused almost like they had heard it before. "I have twin brothers it was a joke my uncles use to play on them."

"Jesus, it wasn't just ma." Murphy smirked off and Conner elbowed him in the gut. He almost dropped the box. "So why so trusting?"

I turned and looked at them. "I'm not stupid." I nodded down to my back. I was packing heat. And they now noticed it.

I heard them mutter some 'holy shits' but they still helped out.

They followed me upstairs and helped me with the rest of the boxes. It didn't take as long as I thought it would to finish unloading my truck. Only about twenty more minutes from when I'd asked for help. I was happy that they helped me. I got to know them while we walked up and down together. They wouldn't tell me where they worked but I didn't mind.

They told me a little about their past. They worked or use to work in a meat factory, they had moved to the Boston area when they were twenty. Been with each over since they left Ireland. I could understand why.

My brothers loved to do everything together. Torturing me when I was younger was their main form of entertainment. Then I discovered paintball and they realized that I could shoot.

I was walking back down with Murphy when it began to drizzle. "At least none of your valuables will get wet." He told me smiling as he jumped back into the bed of the truck to retrieve the last two boxes. "Are you from Boston?"

I shook my head. "No. West coast. Seattle area."

"And your brothers?" He asked handing me a box.

"They live in Florida." I told him with a weak smile. "Finishing up school. They're identical though so it makes them going to the same school a pain in the ass for their teachers."

He laughed knowing what I meant. "Switch classes one to often?"

"And their almost twenty-one." I mumbled to myself with a shake of my head. "God help whoever lets them drink on their birthday." He looked at me with a smile and a chuckle. "You have no idea how bad they get so stop snickering."

"I'm Irish love." He told me still laughing. "I can hold me alcohol. How much older are you than them?"

"I'm two years older."

"Twenty-three?"

"In a few weeks." I told him as we headed upstairs. "James and Hayden are coming up to celebrate."

"Anyway to tell them apart?"

"Hayden's the bigger ass."

We laughed as we walked into the room where Conner had set boxes apart according to what I had written on them.

I set down the last box with a smile. "Well," I looked over to them and smile. "That's everything." I reached into my wallet and pulled out a twenty. Conner shook his head and began to protest. "Please, I really appreciate the help." He still shook his head. "Take the fucking money."

He shook his head crossing his arms. "No."

I looked over at Murphy. "Here Murphy." He looked at me taking the money without a second thought. "Don't share it."

Conner looked over at Murphy smacking him upside the head.

"Jesus." Murphy mumbled rubbing his head. He glanced to his watch. "Ah, shit." He looked back up at Conner. "We were supposed to met Da ten minutes ago."

He nodded. "Go met him. I'll be down in a minute." Murphy smirked trotting off while Conner looked back to me. I had sort of been ignoring their conversation and began unpacking yet again. "You didn't have to pay us."

I raised an eyebrow. "I didn't. I paid him."

He chuckled. "We were just happy to help."

"Thanks." I smiled looking down at the box as I stood up. "Sorry if I made you run late."

"It's just Da." He told me. "He'll get over it.'

Why couldn't I get myself to say anything? Jesus, I felt like a fucking idiot. "Well, I hope to see you guys again soon. I just need to set some stuff out and I'm off to get a job."

"I thought you said you were a nurse?" He questioned me.

"I am," I informed him. "I just need a job to tie me over until I start."

"How long until that?" He leaned against the door as I pulled out some clothes. I set the gun on the floor just far enough that I could grab it. But I wasn't feeling to nervous about him.

"About three weeks maybe four." I shouted to him. "So what do you do now that you're out of the meat packing business?"

"Work." He muttered to me. "Just work."

I shook my head. All right so he didn't want to tell me. Jesus Christ. He was mysterious. I stepped out changed into the clothes. He just watched as I crossed the room to grab my keys.

"Do you need a ride?" I asked while I walked towards the door. "I'd be happy to give you guys a lift before I go out job hunting."

"I think Da's down there already." He told me with a smile following me out the door. "Thanks though."

I smirked shutting and locking the door behind us. It was then I noticed the sound of rain on the roof. I smirked again with a chuckle. Conner looked at me confused. "I moved from Seattle to get away from the rain."

"Your from Seattle now are you?"

I nodded. "I grew tired of the west coast." We stepped outside, the rain was pouring and I smiled broadly opening my arms. "I love the rain."

Conner just looked at me confused at what I had said. I was contradicting myself. I looked across the street to see Murphy standing with a man who adorned himself in a black jacket. Must have been Da. They nodded to Conner who nodded back. I got the message.

"It was nice to meet you." I told him. "Hopefully I'll see you again."

I began to walk over to me truck when I thought I heard him say; "I know you will."

**A:N:** Hope you liked now for my poll. I haven't decided if I want this to be lovey dovey so does Natasha end up with one of the brothers? Please review I love them.


	2. Chapter Two: Fuck! Ass!

**A:N:** Just short and sweet. All translations I did on http://translation2. So if it's wrong blame them. Still on that poll. Thanks to I Fancy Hugh Dancy for reviewing. Please review I love reviews.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

**Fuck! Ass!**

_Oooo she made us drinks, to drink  
We drunk 'em, Got drunk  
And then I think she thinks I'm cool  
She gave me a wink, I winked back  
And then I think that, we,d have fun at my spot tonight_

I like the bartender  
(Oooo If you're lookin' for me)I'm at the bar with her  
(Uh-huh, Ok)  
I like the bartender  
(Yeah if you're lookin' for me)  
I'm at the bar with her  
(Oooooh Uh-huh, Ok) 

I walked quietly in the bar. It took a while to find it, not too long but a couple of hours to find one bar is annoying. Next time I get directions to a bar, I need to be more specific as to which one it was. An Irish neighborhood, way too many fucking bars. It was a nicer one at least.

There weren't that many people in the bar. Only two. One actually drinking, the other was an older man. I was assuming that was Doc. I wasn't expecting anyone to be drinking so early though. It was only about three in the afternoon. I looked back over at Doc who looked at me. I walked up and sat in front of him.

"What can, can I do for you?" He stuttered out with a smirk. "A little early for drinking, ain't it?"

"I didn't come for a drink." I informed him looking out onto the bar then back to him. "I was told you needed a bartender?"

"Yes.." He stuttered with a sigh. "But I was loo..looking for a guy. Fuck! Ass!"

I shook my head. "No you weren't." I turned and leaned on the counter. "You were looking for me. Natasha Raimol."

"Oh really?" He questioned with a snicker leaning on the counter as well. "Why's that?"

"Because I've worked bar before," I told him with a broad smile. "That and I'm a woman and I'll bring in more guys."

"I need someone to close." He told me. "At night Russian mob comes in to piss me off. I..I need someone who can kick their asses back..back to high heaven."

"YA mogu derzhat' v rukah moye trahan'e sam." I told him in Russian. I took it in college because I lived in a place where we had Russians come in and work with us in the summer. I took it in college so I could understand them. I wish I hadn't because most of the time you don't even want to know. Trust me. "YA mogu strel'at', borot's'a, i oskorbl'at' ih na ih sobstvennom grebanom yazyke." He snickered and I shrugged with a smile. "CHto bol'she moglo Vy hotet'?"

"Who ta..taught you?"

I shrugged. "I took Russian, German and Italian in college. Worked with too many foreigners to not want too. As for kicking Russians and others out of the bar, I can handle myself." I opened my jacket to reveal my gun. He looked briefly before motioning for me to put it away. "You don't have to worry about that."

"Irish bar.." He pointed out and I slammed my head onto the counter. What the hell is it with Irish? "Not Irish."

"Not even a little bit." I told him with a shake of my head. "However," I looked back up at him. "This is temporary though. Three weeks four at most. I have a job at the hospital but I just need something to keep myself a float."

He thought about it for a minute. I looked at him with such puppy eyes I knew he couldn't resist. He finally gave in and nodded. "Alright. You start at six toni..tonight though at..at six. Fuck! Ass!"

I smiled jumping halfway over the bar to hug him tightly. He stood perplexed at my actions but I let go after a minute and jumping back off the counter. "Thanks."

"Just wear some..something nice." He smirked off at me. "Fuck! Ass!"

* * *

I got to the bar an hour before hand. I was wearing a black halter top and blue jeans. It wasn't that busy but I needed to be shown the ropes. Doc told me everything I needed to know. Where all the beer was and who wasn't allowed in the bar along with where to hide my gun. I was going to close tonight as well. That was going to be great.

The first few hours went by fast. Just constant running around, getting beers and such, not too much trouble. Nothing I wasn't use too. College bars were just as busy at times it seemed worse. Then again, the advantage was frat boys weren't slapping my ass every time I walked back. This reminded me so much of college it wasn't funny. I'd be happy when I was out of the bar scene.

The door opened to the bar and I my day seemed a little brighter. I smiled broadly at the sight of the MacManus brothers walking in from the rain. Murphy was the first to notice me as I walked behind the counter to grab some more beer. He smiled back to me, elbowing Conner in the gut so he'd notice. Conner smiled looking to me and nodding a hello. They came over and sat down at the bar.

"Hello boys." I smiled out handing another man his drink. I leaned against the Conner. "Long time no see."

"Aye," Murphy began with a happy grin. "We've been missing moving your boxes up the stairs."

I smiled softly with a chuckle looking over to Conner. "Really, we do. Half off those boxes had to be carrying dead bodies."

"I never travel without my family." I told him with a snicker making them stare at me as though I was nuts. "What'll it be?"

* * *

**A:N:Translations:**

I can handle myself - YA mogu derzhat' v rukah moye trahan'e sam

I can shoot, fight, and insult them in their own fucking language - YA mogu strel'at', borot's'a, i oskorbl'at' ih na ih sobstvennom grebanom yazyke

What more could you want - CHto bol'she moglo Vy hotet'

Thanks again to I Fancy Hugh Dancy for the review. Don't forget to review. I love reviews and the poll is still up. Who does Natasha fall for?


	3. Chapter 3: DrunkTwins Russians Bar Fight

**A:N: **For fair warning, there is a lot of Russian in this chappy so all translations are in order at the end. Please keep the reviews coming and thanks to all who reviewed, I Fancy Hugh Dancy and icydragon14. Poll doesn't close for another four chapters. It's your decision so you decide.

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**Chapter Three**

**Drunk Twins + Russians Bar Fight**

_I'm being haunted by a whisper_

_A chill comes over me_

_I've been trapped inside this moment_

_I'm not a victim, I'm not a freak_

_Free me_

_Before I slip away_

_Heal me_

_Wake me from this day_

_Can somebody help me?_

_I've seen the face of my affliction_

_Of my reality_

_I'm being tortured by the future_

_Of things that are yet to be_

_I'm being haunted by a vision_

_It's like the morning never comes_

_I feel the burden of confusion_

_Always searching... on the run_

The night passed by quickly. The boys and I hung out most of the time. I still had to make the rounds every few minutes but still I came back to talk to them. We were having so much fun just hanging out. Now it was about three in the morning. The twins were the only ones left in the bar.

Murphy was punch drunk and poor Conner was almost a goner. God these guys could not hold their alcohol. They only had about five drinks. They were acting like they had about twenty though. What a bunch of Irish pussies. I had never heard of an Irish man who couldn't hold their beer. Fucking weirdoes.

I shook my head as I finished cleaning up. We were already closed. Doc had left so I had to close. Washing everything down quickly so that I didn't have to deal with it tomorrow with Doc. It didn't take long. Sweeping up was what took longest. That and keeping the twins away from any more beer was tough enough.

"Conner," I began finishing putting the chairs up. He looked over to me in his drunken stupor. "Do you guys need a lift?"

"Nopers.." Murphy mumbled his head resting on the counter he began to laugh.

"Well.." Conner slurred out resting his hand against his head. "That would fucking fabulous now wouldn't it?"

I let out a heavy sigh, setting the last stool on top of the table. I walked first over to Murphy, he was rank with alcohol, and he stumbled while I helped him up. Slinging his arm over my shoulder so I could support him better. "Come on Murph."

"Where.." he hiccupped out leaning against me. "Where are we going?"

"To my truck." I told him with a growl. "I ain't letting you two morons drive home." I reached over and grabbed Conner's arm to pull him with me. "Come on Conner."

"Where are we going?" He mimicked his brother.

"Oh God have mercy on me, dammit." I mumbled under my breath while Murphy wrapped his arms around my waist. "Where do you two live?"

"I don't know." Murphy slurred out leaning his face against mine. Bad breath alert. "Conner, where the fuck do we live?"

Conner looked over at him leaning on me too. "How the fuck should I know?"

God, I was going to have to them home with me? I was almost out the door when the phone rang. Probably Doc making sure I closed up. I ignored it taking the guys out to my truck and strapping them into the seatbelts. Old college trick, if they're too fucking drunk they didn't know how to undo a seatbelts. And they were fucking plastered. Yammering on about some Saints or something or other like that.

I walked back inside to shut the lights off when I heard someone come in the door. God, can't anyone read a 'Closed' sign? It wasn't the brothers, they had about five or six more minutes before they could figure out how to get out of their damn seatbelts.

"We're closed." I told whoever the hell it was.

"Not for me.." A Russian man began with a chuckle. I turned around to see him and to other thugs standing at entrance. I was suddenly wishing I hadn't put the MacManus brothers in seatbelts. The main Russian was already starting to unzip his pants. "For me, you're open all night."

"Ne dl'a Vas ili l'ubogo." I hissed to him in Russian. He stared at me confounded. God was it that strange that people couldn't speak another language? I walked around to the opposite side of the bar hearing their heavy feet behind me. My hand rested on the drawer where my gun was hidden. "Poluchite trahaniye. My zakryty!"

They began to walk to the other side, the main one sat down at the bar though. As if he was waiting for them to do everything for him. The stupid fat fuck, why couldn't they left and saved me the trouble? I opened a drawer without a second thought and pulled out a nine millimeter. I had it aimed square in the middle of his forehead. "Poluchite trahaniye ots'uda."

He chuckled at me with a smile. "Vy ne sdelali by etogo."

I cocked the gun watching his smile fade. "Vy hotite derzhat' pari?"

One moved completely behind the bar, I barely saw his hand move for the heat he was packing and I brought my gun up to the side an shot him without a second thought in the leg. He dropped to the ground, his screams made the others jump. The one behind him jumped over him and I shot him in the shoulder.

It was the one in front of me who got me though. His hard fist connected to the side of my face. I yelped, collapsing to the ground. My gun slid underneath the damn fridge. I couldn't even grab a hold of the handle. I struggled as one of the Russians grabbed my hair and I began to punch and kick but it was worthless. They were so much larger than I was. Grabbing me, both of the Russians not even caring about their wounds pulled me to my feet and around the bar.

"Vy grebanyye kiski!" I screamed kicking wildly in their grasps until they punched me again. "Ne mozhet dazhe poluchit' real'nuyu zhenschinu, ne b''uschij der'mo iz neye i stucha yeye?"

"Zakrojte Vas malen'kaya suka!" The main Russian told me standing and smacking me across the face. One of the guys I shot held my head so I couldn't look away from him. "Skazhite mne Vas malen'kaya shl'uha, gde - Sv'atyye?"

"Kakoye trahan'e Sv'atyh?" I growled and he hit me again. Blood dripped from my nose and I screamed at him.

"Skazhite mne teper', ili ya pihnu moj petuh, nastol'ko grebanyj dalekij vniz vashe gorlo, chto Vy ne budete v sostoyanii k dyhaniyu." His hand went to finish unzipping his pants.

"YA budu ukusil eto togda, takim obrazom Vy nikogda ne budete v sostoyanii trahnut's'a snova!" I shouted at him as he punched me again. "Poluchite trahaniye!"

"That wasn't a very nice thing to say." An Irish voice began and a gun cocked. Murphy? I couldn't see his face but I knew it was him. No way could he be speaking so clearly though. Not with how drunk he was. Unless.. "Was it Conner?"

The Russians all looked over to the twins. They let go of my head enough so I could looked over at Conner and Murphy. "Aye, no it wasn't." I could see them both clearly. Both holding guns with silencers and Conner cocked his. "Let her go." He looked briefly to me. "We're right here for you fucking morons. She's not part of this."

They were fucking faking! They could hold their alcohol just fine, they had to of known about the Russians. Those bastards!

"You fucking assholes!" I shouted at them trying to stand but they shoved me back towards the ground. "You fucking used me as fucking bait!"

Suddenly the Russian cracked me over the head. Everything became so blurry. I only heard the gunfire before my body collapsed to the ground. I could see the bullets fly and the brothers run forward before my head smashed against the ground. I gasped loudly. The taste of blood came from my mouth and I heard Murphy scream. I wasn't sure who came to my aid first; I felt one of them move me. God my head hurt so much.

I was pulled up into someone's arms, my body was limp. Then all was black.

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**A:N:** Hoped you liked thanks again to I Fancy Hugh Dancy and icydragon14 for their reviews! Please review! I love reviews. I will update soon. Once again, I need your help writing the story so our poll is who is Natasha going to end up with? So far we have I Fancy Hugh Dancy and me having no bloody clue which one it should be.

**Translation:**

Not for you or anyone - Ne dl'a Vas ili l'ubogo

Get the fuck out. We're closed - Poluchite trahaniye. My zakryty

Get the fuck out of here - Poluchite trahaniye ots'uda

You wouldn't do it - Vy ne sdelali by etogo

You wanna bet - Vy hotite derzhat' pari

You fucking pussies - Vy grebanyye kiski

Can't even get a real woman without beating the shit out of her and raping her- Ne mozhet dazhe poluchit' real'nuyu zhenschinu, ne b''uschij der'mo iz neye i stucha yeye

Shut up you little bitch - Zakrojte Vas malen'kaya suka

Tell me you little whore, where are the Saints - Skazhite mne Vas malen'kaya shl'uha, gde - Sv'atyye

What fucking Saints - Kakoye trahan'e Sv'atyh

Tell me now or I'll shove my cock so fucking far down your throat that you won't be able to breath - Skazhite mne teper', ili ya pihnu moj petuh, nastol'ko grebanyj dalekij vniz vashe gorlo, chto Vy ne budete v sostoyanii k dyhaniyu

I'll bit it of then so you'll never be able to fuck again - YA budu ukusil eto togda, takim obrazom Vy nikogda ne budete v sostoyanii trahnut's'a snova

Get the fuck out - Poluchite trahaniye


	4. Chapter Four: To Aid Or Not To Aid

**A:N: **Thanks to everyone: Threnody Shepard, I Fancy Hugh Dancy and icydragon14, for their wonderful reviews. So far all votes are goin' to Murph. I'm starting to think that sounds great too. But it's up to you as the readers.

I Fancy Hugh Dancy- I'm always the driver and that trick helped me out a lot!

Threnody Shepard- It's going to be both. -

All right hope you enjoy this chapter and don't forget to review. I love them and vote for who you think Natasha should end up with.

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**Chapter Four**

**To Aid or Not To Aid**

_I've got big dreams but no self-esteem, you know?  
I'd reach for the stars but I can't find my arms  
All this time we've accomplished so much  
Why can't I believe why can't I just feel love?_

Goin' away leavin' today you've gotta find a brand new hero  
I let you down when you're not around you know I can't be trusted with anything  
All this time we've wanted so much to just belong why can't we just feel love?  
Goin' away leavin today you've gotta find a brand new hero  
What will they say when I've gone away? Gotta find a brand new hero

I woke up with a headache from hell. It felt as though someone had hit me with a truck. I began to recall everything that had happened. My eyesight was so blurry. I couldn't stand it. I leaned up, my head screaming at me to do something to stop the pain. My hand flew to my head. I was in so much pain.

A hand pushed me back down so I couldn't sit up. I didn't have the energy or will to fight. "Don't try to sit up." Conner's voice came through and a cold cloth was set on my forehead. "You took a nasty blow to the head."

"No shit?" I questioned weakly closing my eyes. "Once I get my strength back I'm going to kick your fucking asses."

"Why?" Conner snickered. "For lying to you?"

"Asshole." I mumbled softly looking to him briefly. "You set me up."

"We didn't think that they'd try and fuckin' rape ya." He told me with a sigh as I let my head fall to the side. "You need to stay awake now." His hand touched my cheek. "You may have a concussion."

"I know what concussion feels like." I mumbled with a hiss. "This is like I don't fuckin' know.." I shook my head. "It isn't a concussion. Just a bit of a split open skull!"

"So you're pissed?" Conner questioned, I did my best to glare at him. "Oh for Christ sakes Natasha we knew they were looking for us. Doc's bar is where we always fuckin' go. Jesus, I didn't think that Doc would make you til fuckin' close."

"Well you obviously didn't think then!" I sneered at him forcing myself to sit up. Conner moved to push me back but I pointed at him. "Touch me and I'll break your fucking hand off dammit." He brought his hands away. We were back in my apartment. I could only guess how. I looked around for the other one. "Where's Murphy?"

He shrugged standing up. "Went to get some shit from the store. Food and such." He walked around to sit on the other side of me. "Where'd you learn how to shoot?"

I looked over at him swinging my legs around so I could at least try to stand. "I'm from Northern Michigan. Hunting is a fucking religion." It's true. The main joke is 'If it's called tourist season, why can't we shoot them?' "I learned how to shoot when I was two."

He chuckled as the door opened. "She awake yet?" Murphy's voice questioned almost sounding concerned. Conner smirked at the question. "Conner?"

"Aye." Conner began standing up. "She's awake."

He walked out to where Murphy was. God I was so pissed off it wasn't even funny. I could hear them talking in the next room. God almighty, what the hell had I gotten myself into? I didn't want this, to happen. I was involved in something that I shouldn't be. I looked out towards the kitchen. They needed to explain what the fuck was going on or get the fuck out.

I forced myself to my feet from the make shift bed they had made me. I looked around at the boxes finding one-marked decorations. I had bought some daggers and blades from a place in Mackinaw called Enchanted Knights and I kept them sharp for a reason.

Quietly removing them I moved to lean against the doorway of the kitchen. God I was still so weak. I had my head tilted down and the knife hidden behind my arm. I may like them but no one will tell you anything if you don't have either a gun or knife to their head. I looked up to Conner and Murphy. They stood looking at me and talking quietly. I think it was Italian but I didn't care.

Murphy moved over to me. "You shouldn't be up."

"My head.." I mumbled leaning against his shoulder.

He moved so he could pick me up. It was then that Conner saw the knife. He began to say something but I had Murphy where I needed him. My arm wrapped around his neck and the blade pressed against his throat. He was holding me in such away that he couldn't drop me and not end up cutting himself. He snarled at the feeling of the knife against his throat.

"Now," I murmured into his ear. "You're going to tell me what the fuck is going on!"

Murphy looked at Conner who stood dumbfounded and he didn't know better than to push me. "About what?"

" 'About what'?" I sneered pressing the blade harder into Murphy's skin. He began to bleed and the amount of pressure I placed on his flesh made me feel weak. "About what the fuck happened last night! Why were the Russians after you? Who the fuck are the Saints? And better yet, where are the fucking Russians?"

Murphy looked at me confused. "You don't know about the Saints?"

"Michigan girl!" I hissed out resting my head against his shoulder, the grip on my knife was becoming weaker.

Conner saw this and maneuvered around his brother to pull it out of my hand. "We'll explain everything to ya. You don't need to be so fucking violent." He nodded to Murphy who carried me back to my mattress. I heard a sound that sounded like knocking from the door. Conner looked between the door and me. "I'll be back in a second."

Murphy moved to set me down but I shook my head. "Hold onto me."

Murphy sat down, confused, my body still cradled in his arms. I was tired. I could barely stay awake; I knew if he set me down I would fall back into my dreams. If I did have a concussion, which I was pretty sure I didn't but still, I could fall into a coma. Obviously he didn't get it. The way he had sat me was quite uncomfortable so I'd be awake for a while. Or at least until this felt great.

My breathing was shallow. "Who are the Saints?"

"We are." He told me softly. "The press calls us the Boondock Saints."

I looked up. I had heard of them. They were the ones who had broke into a court to kill a mafia boss. I'd been told about them at the hospital when I went for the interview. They had been joking about the Saints sending in more cadavers than live ones. "Your murderers.."

"Aye," A new voice came in. I looked up to see the old man with the gray beard. Da. "We are lass. But we kill those who must pay for their crimes."

"You're playing god.." I whispered out.

"We carry out God's commands." He told me with such sternness that frightened me. He moved to sit beside Murphy and me. "These men break the laws of both men and God. It is out of the laws of men that we must do this. These men get released from prison, murderers, rapists, pimps and they go out and do the same shit over again." He looked over to Conner who leaned against the doorframe. "They don't pay for their crimes. The public does."

I nodded. I had to agree our criminal system here did suck. They had a point. I almost wanted to help. But something inside me warned me that something bad, worse than this. I didn't care though. I looked up at Conner and Murphy. Their eyes showed such a strong determination and belief in what they were doing.

"We're sorry you had to get mixed up in this shit." Conner told me. "We knew the Russians had been bitching to Doc so we've been goin' to the bar to make sure they were stayin' clear."

"We needed to stay sober so we fucked with you a wee bit to make sure you wouldn't be alone when they did come."

I sighed. "You killed them too. Didn't you?"

Da nodded with a smile. "They were planning on killing you after they fucked you."

I thought about it for a moment. I understood what they were doing and why. Even though that I didn't agree with it entirely. I didn't believe that people had the right to decide who lived or died. I knew one thing for certain, that they were going to need help.

I looked back from Murphy to Da. "I'm an RN." They looked at me curiously. "I can help when you fuck yourselves up."

Conner looked at me confused at what I had said. "You're going to help us?"

I nodded against Murphy's chest burying my head into his neck.

"Why?" Murphy asked.

"Because someone sane has to make sure you don't get fuckin' killed." I mumbled at them. They all chuckled at my statement. "Now get me some damn aspirin. My heads fuckin' killing me."

* * *

**A:N:** Thanks again to Threnody Shepard, I Fancy Hugh Dancy and icydragon14 for their reviews. I hope you all liked. Once again only two chapters left until a decision is made. Conner or Murphy it's your choice. So far it's Murphy all the way. 

Keep reading and reviewing. I love reviews.


	5. Chapter Five: Two Sets of Twins

**A:N: **Thanks for the reviews from I Fancy Hugh Dancy, icydragon14, and Threnody Shepard. Please review I love reviews. Just a fun chapter. Next one is going to be a little more.. graphic. - think what you want on that.

* * *

**Chapter Five**

**Two Sets of Twin**

_This ain't a song for the broken-hearted  
No silent prayer for the faith-departed  
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd  
You're gonna hear my voice  
When I shout it out loud_

It's my life  
It's now or never  
I ain't gonna live forever  
I just want to live while I'm alive  
(It's my life)  
My heart is like an open highway  
Like Frankie said  
I did it my way  
I just wanna live while I'm alive  
It's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground  
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down  
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake  
Luck ain't even lucky  
Got to make your own breaks

It took several days for me to get back on my feet. The twins had helped me unpack and they had been in and out every day to check up on me. I had to admit that they had done a bang up job helping me unpack. They must of loved putting my clothes away, because I sure didn't. They took shifts in keeping an eye on me. At least one stayed the night to make sure that I didn't die.

Today was Murphy's day to spend the night at my place. I was still not myself, and despite the fact I had told them over and over that they didn't have to come over anymore to keep an eye on me they still did.

It was four and I had turned the television to the news. I was partially asleep but I didn't really mind. Murphy would find some rude way of waking me up. The first time I had slept on the couch and he dumped a bucket of water on me. Freezing cold water! I wanted to kill him. For the most part we just watched television, talked and played poker.

He owed me twenty dollars.

Conner was a little bit nicer at least. He'd make me food at least. He was stronger than Murphy. I thought that just because of the way they acted around me. Conner was always so serious. He didn't joke around as much as Murphy. He also seemed to have more control over his emotions. The bond between them was so strong.

I curled up quietly. I was listening for the door to open. I could tell when Murphy was close. Something I had learned in the past few days. That and where they had hid my water guns.

The door shut and I smirked quietly faking my sleep. The water gun down at my side. I felt him grab hold of the back of the couch. I looked up at him as he aimed silly string at my head. I brought my arm up and sprayed him with the water. He gagged and fell backwards. I jumped over the couch landing on top of him to knock the can out of his hand.

I was laughing so hard as was he. He pushed me off him and flipped me onto my back so he had the advantage.

"What the hell?" He questioned his Irish accent shining through. "You fuckin' faker!"

"You don't have room to talk." I chuckled out as he grabbed the silly string. "No this was payback dammit."

He made a grumpy face. "Fine." He got up and helped me up too. "I'm using this later though."

I stuck out my tongue walking into the kitchen. "How's Da?"

"Finding us a new target." He told me putting the string out of reach. "It takes him a week or two to find one that's fuckin' sick as hell."

I nodded with a smirk. "Jesus you and your job."

He looked back at me as I moved over to the stove. "What do ya think your doing?"

I looked back at him pulling out bread. "Making something to eat. No offense but Conner's a way better cook than you are."

"Is that right?" He narrowed his eyes at me. I gave him a big grin. "Well at least last time I was over, I didn't start the fuckin' food on fire."

I pointed at him. "You said you'd shut up about that." He stuck out his tongue now and I smacked him upside the head. "Asshole."

"So violent." He snickered out walking over to the fridge. "You need anything from here?"

"Five slices of cheese and butter." I told him puling out ten slices of bread. He hand them to me quietly. "So where's Conner?"

"He had something to do." He replied moving to lean against the counter beside me. "He said he'd swing his ass by when he's done." I felt his eyes look me over as I put the food on the burner. "That won't be for a couple of hours though."

I looked to him. He was standing so close to me. My eyes looked up to him while my head remained level. His eyes were such an amazing blue that it drove me nuts. His brothers were like that too but his looked even more brilliant now than ever before. People had told me that I had brilliant eyes before. They were a pale green but nothing compared to the twins' blue ones.

He was just staring at me. And all I could do was stare back.

I turned away to look at the food. At least it wasn't burned. I heard Murphy give a sigh and he rested his forehead against my shoulder.

"What's wrong?" I questioned with a sigh of my own. "Murph.."

"Nothing." He mumbled walking off in a huff. I shook my head at him. I had enough on my plate right now. I didn't need him to be getting all mushy on me.

My thoughts were interrupted by someone knocking at the door. I looked out to where Murphy was sitting annoyed on the couch. He shrugged and I reached over for my gun as I walked to the door.

"Who is it?"

"Lenny,"

"And Squiggy!"

I smiled broadly putting the safety back on my gun. I opened the door and shouted. "Bratts!"

I jumped out and hugged the two boys. My twin younger brothers, Hayden and James. I had completely forgot that they were swinging by Boston to say hi before heading back to college. They were taking a road trip up and down the East Coast. They picked me up with smiles and laughs, carrying me back into the apartment. They were identical but thankfully they had dyed their hair different colors so I could tell them apart better.

I usually didn't have trouble telling them apart but some days I just didn't care if I knew or not.

Spinning me around I noticed Murphy looking over them confused. They set me down looking over at Murphy.

"Who's this?" Hayden asked with a smirk.

James eyed him a little bit. "Boyfriend already?"

I shook my head. "You assholes. This Murphy." They moved to shake his hand. "Murphy these are my brothers, Hayden and James."

"Nice to meet you."

James and Hayden looked at each other then to me. "Irish?"

"Irish neighborhood." Murphy growled out.

"Ooo." Hayden began rubbing my shoulders. "He's a feisty one ain't he?"

James moved to lean against the other side of the doorframe. "I think we may have to teach him a lesson in manners."

I elbowed Hayden and slapped James. "Quit being assholes."

They both began to laugh. Murphy looked at me as if they were crazy. I just shrugged. "We're just fucking with you man."

"Twins," Hayden shrugged with a smile. "We like to be dicks." I began to laugh and so did Murphy. "What?"

"Murphy has a twin brother guys." I told them crossing my arms and smiling. "He knows all about being a dick."

They both looked at each other then Murphy. "Really?"

"Aye." Murphy told them. "We're not identical though. Can't get away with as much shit as you too I'd bet."

They both laughed. "You won't believe the shit we get away with."

"Yah," I began leaning on Murphy. "It's pretty sad."

"Well why don't we head down to the bar." Murphy suggested. "Guaranteed that Conner will be there in a few hours. I need to blow off some fuckin' steam anyway."

I looked over at him. He was fine only moments ago and now with the twins being here he was a complete asshole.

The twins nodded though. No way would they pass up beer. Especially since they were only twenty. I didn't care about it either. I'd just had to make sure they got back to the hotel fine. They wouldn't stay with me. Not tonight anyway. Maybe on their way back up the coast, but not tonight. I wasn't in the mood for their shit along with Murphy being a complete ass. Hopefully Conner would be less of an ass when he showed up.

I nodded to the twins. "Head down to Doc's bar it's on the corner." Murphy began to move but I grabbed a hold of his shirt and looked at him. "You stay."

They whistled at me as they left to find the bar. I leaned against the doorway looking up at him. He just stared down at me his expression was blank but his eyes still spoke. He was pretty pissed about something. Not what happened? Jesus.

"What the hell is your problem?" I questioned him.

He shrugged. "I have no clue what the fuckin' hell your talking about." He moved past me but I grabbed his shirt. He knocked my hand away. "Nothing's fuckin' wrong."

I pointed to him. "Bullshit. Why would you raise your voice to me if something wasn't?"

"Oh Jesus Christ." Murphy finally broke. "Dammit Natasha 'what the fuck is wrong'? What the fuck is that suppose to mean?" He knocked over a chair. He turned away from me and I just stood there. "What the fuckin' hell Natasha?"

I moved so that he had to look at me. "I have no fucking clue as to why the fuck you should be so goddamn pissed off at me!"

"Then fuck this bullshit." He told me grabbing his coat. "Let's go to the bar. I just want a fuckin' drink."

"Fine then." I growled at him getting into his face. "Then you be a little fuckin' nicer to me brothers."

* * *

We got down to the bar, Doc was so happy to see I was okay. I was glad to see that the bar was all right. I had been stuck in the damn apartment for so goddamn long it had almost driven me nuts. Murphy was actually being pretty nice for the most part. He still had a chip on his shoulder over whatever the fuck happened back in the apartment. 

Hayden and James were getting along famously with him. I left them at the bar to go outside for a bit. I needed a cigarette. I wasn't a true smoker. More or less a stress smoker, and with the twins around and the other two coming I was just a little on edge.

When I went out I could see Conner heading over. It was about six-thirty. I looked over at him and nodded with a smirk. He walked up offering me a lit. I nodded pulling out a cigarette for him.

"Thanks," He told me with a smirk. "I didn't know you smoked?"

"Nervous habit." I told him. "My brothers are here and Murphy's been acting like a fucking retard."

Conner scoffed with a smirk. "What the fuck did he do now?"

"He was acting all weird in the apartment and then he went into being a fucking dick." I told him with a shake of my head. "He was just yelling at me about nothing." He began to snicker at me as he took a drag on his cigarette. "What?"

He shook his head. "You're really that fuckin' blind aren't you?" I just stared at him. The cigarette hanging out of my mouth stupidly then shrugged at him. "He likes you Natasha."

"Bullshit." I told him choking on smoke I inhaled.

"I wouldn't bullshit about me brother." He insisted taking a long drag on his cigarette. "I've seen the way he looks at ya. If you paid attention then you would realize it too."

I scoffed taking a nice long drag on the cigarette. "Are you saying that Murphy has a crush on me?"

I laughed while he answered. "Aye. He does." My laughing stopped and I just stared at him. "I'll see you inside."

* * *

**A:N:** Just leave you hanging. Thanks everyone for reading and please review. Thanks to Threnody Shepherd, icydragon14 and I Fancy Hugh Dancy for their reviews. Everyone review and last chance but I think it's obvious. Murph or Con? 


	6. Chapter Six: Clean Up Crew

**A:N: **Thanks to everyone for there wonderful reviews. IrishSaints, Jade Opal, wolfchick11, icydragon14, Threnody Shepard, and I Fancy Hugh Dancy. It's official of who it's going to be - and you'll find out in this chapter. New poll will be up in a couple chapters. 

IrishSaints- I just realize that mistake, thanks it'll be switched. I ran into two of my guy friends named James and Hayden and I thought they'd be great as the characters. And I agree with the nic. Thanks

wolfchick11- yes cliffhangers do suck

* * *

**Chapt****er Six **

**Clean Up Crew **

_One - Nothing wrong with me  
Two - Nothing wrong with me  
Three - Nothing wrong with me  
Four - Nothing wrong with me  
One - Something's got to give  
Two - Something's got to give  
Three - Something's got to give  
_

_Now  
Let the bodies hit the floor  
_

_Push me again  
This is the end  
Skin against skin blood and bone  
You're all by yourself but you're not alone  
You wanted in now you're here  
Driven by hate consumed by fear  
Let the bodies hit the floor_

The rest of the night went by normally. The twins left to head south on the coast. Conner and Murphy both came to my apartment to spend the night. We were laughing, I was trying my best not to make anything of what Conner had said. Unfortunately one too many drinks forced my twins decided to tell Conner and Murphy about my high school nickname.

Tasha. I was in soccer and it was tradition for our coach to nickname us so when he called our names out that the other team wouldn't know who we were. It was all I was called all through high school. I was named after the original _Star Trek: Next Generation_ security officer because of my name. They had to tell them.

It was all they could/would call me for the rest of the night. Tasha this and that. It didn't really bug me but I took pleasure in the fact that they were having fun attempt to annoy me.

We were headed up to the apartment, the twins weren't drunk but they were at least a little tipsy. Nothing that made me worry about them doing anything stupid. Like accidentally shooting me while I was sleeping. I trusted them well enough. I couldn't get them to leave me alone tonight anyway. At least one was planning on staying the night.

We made it up to my floor, laughing the whole way and were halfway down the way when I noticed something wrong. My door. It was broken in. The laughing stopped. I stood there. Terrified at the door. Conner pushed me back so I stood behind him and Murphy. I shook my head and walked beside them. I wasn't going to stand by while they searched my apartment for anymore intruders. I looked past them into my apartment.

It was all trashed. Everything was thrown across the room. Chairs were broken and the television was busted. I could only stare. Murphy and Conner had pulled out guns. Ready to shoot if they saw anyone who wasn't suppose to be there. They were searching the apartment. Trying to find the intruder I was guessing. But I didn't really care. I was more or less in shock over what the hell was happening.

My shock was turned into terror when someone grabbed me from behind. I let out a yelp but my mouth got covered and a harsh man whispered: "Don't scream."

Russians. I grabbed his arm and pulled his hand down so I bit down onto his hand. He shouted several not so nice things as he threw me into the broken table. I felt my nose begin to bleed when the Russian came over and kicked me in the ribs. I yelped falling to the ground holding my sides.

I heard the twins begin to run back into the room when a different Russian grabbed me. Forcing me to my feet he shoved me off to have another one grab me and put the barrel of his gun to my head. Conner and Murphy stood their guns aimed at the Russians. They stood there staring at the Russian as I grumbled curses under my breath.

"Let her go you dumb fuck!" Murphy screamed at them. "Now!"

The Russian pressed his head against my hair. He smelled me. "I think I'll hold onto her for now."

One of his arms snaked around my waist. His hand moved up to grab my breast. His tongue ran up my neck. Damn I wish I had hair. At least then this prick would get a mouth full of hair. I couldn't believe him. I looked at Murph. His eyes were full of fiery. "You fucking bastard!"

"You bet I am." He replied looking back to the brothers moving his grip around my waist so I couldn't struggle as much. "You two come with us or.." He moved his hand lower causing me to struggle harder again. "She.."

"Go to hell you fucking pricks!" I screamed. He whacked me over the head with the butt of the gun. That wasn't going to help my headache. He grabbed a tight hold of my hair. I looked over at Conner with a glare. "This is why I don't get involved."

Murphy looked over at Conner almost stunned about what I said. "You fuckin' told her?" Conner looked at him confused and shrugged. "What the fuckin' hell is wrong with you? Why the fuck would you tell her?"

Conner pointed back to the Russians then looked back to him. "We don't have time for this bullshit!"

Murphy looked back at the Russian that held me and shot. I yelped as he fell behind me, blood splattered on the side of the face. Another Russian rushed forward and Conner moved forward to punch him with the butt of his gun. The Russian went down and I watched as he held tightly to his arm with the gun to his head.

Murphy walked up to me, his hands went to my shoulders. I was in such shock. He shook me a bit. Trying to get me back to reality. Everything was so blurry. I couldn't hear anything. It was all mumbles and whispers. I couldn't understand him. I was staring at him and I couldn't hear him. He shook me harder looking straight at me.

"Natasha!" He shouted at me. I stared at him. My body shaking. Why was I shaking so badly? I could deal with this. With blood, I was a R.N. I should be able to stand the sight of someone who had been hot? "Natasha! Are you okay?"

I shook my head knocking his hands away. "You're fucking kidding right?"

"What the fuck are you doing here?" We heard Conner shout at the Russian. "Who the fuck are you working for?"

"Go to fucking hell." He told him, his head bleeding badly from where Conner had whacked him over the head several times.

Conner cocked his gun, his face stern. "You first."

With that he shot him in the head. Brains splattered all over my floor. I gasped shoving my head deep into Murphy's chest. I didn't care anymore about acting tough. It was sick and wrong. There was a huge difference between television and reality. He wrapped his arms around me. Why the fuck was I so frightened? I was a fucking nurse! I knew how to deal with blood and gun wounds.

I shook my head into his chest trying to forget everything I had seen.

"Natasha.." Murphy began with a harsh whisper in my ear. "We need to go."

"Get her the fuck out of here Murph!" Conner screamed rummaging through the pockets of the Russians. "Get her back to our apartment! Go now!"

* * *

Murphy held me close as we made our way down the stairs. Mostly for comfort the other reason was because I was covered in blood so he could hide me. Just in case someone came up the stairs since the elevator was still broken. Which happened. Murphy pulled me closer, trying to make it seem like I was hurt and he was trying to get me to the hospital. I couldn't see who it was but Murphy obviously know who it was.

"Smecker." Murphy began hoarsely releasing me a bit so I could look at him. Smecker was a man with high cheek bones. He looked creepy to me.

"Hello Murphy." He began looking at me suspiciously. "Should I suspect Conner is upstairs with about three bodies?" He stared at me. "What happened?"

"Two." I mumbled at him.

"Russians broke into the apartment." He told him pulling me a little closer to him. Like I was going to bit this freak. "We went inside and they were still there. They fuckin' set us up. Go talk to Conner now." He nudged me on a bit. "I'm taking Natasha home."

He raised his hands up. "And where's that this week?"

Smecker stepped closer to me. His eyes staring at my blooded up face. I could not deal with this guy right now. I didn't care who or what the fuck he was. He was in my bubble and I was in one hell of a bad mood. My fist came out and smashed him in the face. Just cutting across the bridge of his nose. He backed away as Murphy pulled me back.

"Natasha!" He exclaimed holding me tightly to him. "That's Agent Smecker, he's with the FBI."

"Does it look like I give a fuck?" I hissed at him trying to pull away but he was stronger than he looked.

Smecker stepped forward his eyes glaring at Murphy and me. "You little bitch."

"Fuck off Smecker." Murphy screamed at him holding onto me while pointing at him. "We've had a bad fuckin' nice just in case you haven't noticed the blood on her face! Now we're leaving. You can go piss off Conner now."

* * *

**A:N: **Thanks to everyone for there wonderful reviews. IrishSaints, Jade Opal, wolfchick11, icydragon14, Threnody Shepard, and I Fancy Hugh Dancy. 


	7. Chapter Seven: Broken

**A:N: **I'm so sorry this took so long. My internet decided that it fucking hates me and broke down for the past week. Wow! Thank you all for all your wonderful reviews! smite the mighty, penscratch, icydragon14, wolfchick11, Jade Opal, IrishSaints, Threnody Shepherd, and I Fancy Hugh Dancy. Thank you!

Officially Murph! New poll will be coming up soon. Trust me it's a goody.

* * *

**Chapter Seven **

**Broken**

_I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel light when you're gone away_

_The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

Murphy and I left, leaving Conner and the Agent Smecker back at the apartment. Apparently he trusted this man well enough to leave Conner to deal with him. Hopefully he killed him. That man drove me a little nuts and I barely knew him. Murphy took me to their apartment. One of several I had to guess. They had to have a few so they wouldn't get caught.

We went there in silence. My mind was still wrapped around the Russian he had shot in the head. His blood was all over my face. He practically had to carry me up the stairs thanks to the whack on the head. Setting me down on the couch he went off to find a washcloth to clean my face up with.

I didn't even look around I was still too shook up to do much of anything. He walked off into the kitchen. My body went lax and I fell to the side. Walking back in he shook his head and knelt in front of me with the cloth and a bowl of water. He sat me up and whipped the side of my face with the warm water. I stared at him. His blue eyes focused on mine.

Neither of us wanted to say anything.

"I'm sorry you had to fuckin' go through that again." He told me with a sigh. I looked at him, dazed. "I didn't know.."

I couldn't take it. I brought my fist up and smashed it against his nose. He let out a yelp of surprise as he fell backwards. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I screamed at him with a shriek that drove him nuts. Blood dribbled from his nose. "You just shot someone and barely missed me dammit!"

He stared up at me in shock at what I did as well as what I said. "If I didn't that motherfucker would have killed you! I didn't want that and I'm pretty sure that you didn't want that you mother fucking idiot. I did not want that to fuckin' happen!"

"Why?" I screamed at him. "Because you care for me?"

"Conner's got a big fucking mouth." He told me getting off the floor.

"So it's true?" I shouted. His expression changed to hurt at what I had said to him. "Jesus Christ, what the fuck Murph?"

He got up and grabbed a hold of the back of my head. Holding tightly to my hair he tilt my head back. My breathing was hard; the taste of blood was still in my mouth. I could see the blood dribbling down his nose over his mouth. He stared at me; his glare was nothing but anger. Leave it to me to piss him off so badly without Conner there to run interference.

I shut my eyes as he pulled me closer to him. I could feel his breath crossed my neck. Then without warning he spun me so my back smashed against the wall. I let out a yelp of pain as my head smacked against it again. Fucking Russians and their damn guns. Then his hand moved to grab my hair. That made me yelp in pain. He held my head in place, so I had to look at him. Without warning he smashed his lips onto mine. I let out a squeak of surprise and hurt. The force of his lips connecting with mine made my head smash against the wall.

He didn't care about it. His hand was in between my head and the wall. So mostly his hand got smashed between the wall and my head. My hands went to push him away; the kiss was so harsh and forceful that it almost hurt. No screw that, it did hurt. I tried to shake my head but he held me tightly so I couldn't. Instead my hands moved to his forearms. The pressure shifted though as my hands went to his arms. The kiss became soft and gentle.

Like it was a completely different person that was kissing me. This person wasn't kissing me to shut me up. He was kissing me, because he wanted to.

He pulled away from me backing up. I leaned against the wall, dumbfounded. I could only stare at him while he stood there. His eyes showing such confusion that it probably matched my own. I stared at him. My eyes filled with confusion. Nothing came into my head. Nothing. I couldn't think of anything to say to him.

I stared at him with hard deep breaths. Shutting my eyes I could hear him stepping forward. His left hand touched mine while the other he used to support himself against the wall. I let my gaze went down to the floor but that was still involving looking down his body. His head bent beside mine, his lips pressing against my neck. I could feel the blood on his lips being left as he continued to kiss my body.

"Murph.." I began softly shaking my head.

"Don't.." He begged me looking down. "Don't say it.."

I touched his cheek with my hand. "Don't say what?"

He looked up at me with only his eyes. Not shifting his face to glance to me. "Don't say stop.."

I snickered softly shaking my head at him; my arms snaked around his neck. "Why would I do that?"

He smiled lifting his lips to mine. Our lips met in a soft passionate kiss.

Suddenly the door slammed open. We both jumped, Murphy pulled out his gun, my face turned towards the door. It was Da. I let out a sigh of relief resting my head against Murph's chest.

"Da.."

"What happened?" He questioned walking in and grabbing a hold of Murphy's chin so he could look at his face. Then his gaze turned to mine. "How'd you two get so much blood on you?"

"Russians.." I growled at him while Murphy backed off of me. "The assholes broke into my apartment."

"Aye," Murphy butted in while he lit a cigarette. "They tore her place apart. Fucked everything up then turned around and fucked us up."

Da grabbed my face turning mine to the side. "Tell me this isn't yours."

I shook my head. "It ain't."

He nodded looking to Murphy. "Show her to the shower. Get that blood off you now." He looked back to his son. "How'd you get that?"

I smirked and Murphy glared at me. "Someone was a little pissed off at the fuckin' Russians and took it out on someone who's Irish not Russian."

Da snickered at him. "I don't blame her." He turned and walked over to the couch and sat down. "We brought her into this mess."

"And I knew the shit when I came in." I muttered at him looking back to Murphy. "Shower please."

He nodded with a smirk. He motioned for me to follow him. We walked into the next room. It was a messed up two bed room. I followed him back through the room. We heard Da call for him and he motioned for me to wait a moment. He left to head back to his father in what appeared to the living room. I looked at the room moving quietly to stand beside the door so I could listen.

"..Murph when I walked in?" I caught Da in the middle of his sentence. His voice sounded mad.

"What did it look like?"

"Making yourself pretty comfortable with our little sparrow."

"Da.."

"She doesn't belong here." He raised his voice a bit. "Why she hasn't left after so many Russians have assaulted her I would love to begin to understand." He took a deep breath as I stood listening quietly. "Once she realizes she doesn't belong she'll leave son. Don't get attached."

I looked down at the floor with a sigh of disgust. "What the fuck's that suppose to mean?"

"It means that if she stays she runs a more likely risk of getting murdered."

"She's not afr.."

"She's not afraid for her life. She fears for us. She shouldn't."

I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I did care for them. I couldn't help it at all.

"Da she can handle herself." Murphy defended. "If she wanted to leave she would of fuckin' done it by now."

"Aye she would have."

"Then let her be."

"What happens to her if she gets hurt?"

"Then we'll be there to help her dammit. We'll protect her." He told him sounding as if he was getting closer. "The way we have been."

"You're doing her more harm than good son. Why do ya think I left your mum?"

I covered my mouth to keep from gasping. I moved back towards the bathroom at the back of the room. Murphy stepped into the room and the front door slammed shut. I didn't even look at him. My eyes were focused on the wall. He moved back to where I was. His hand rested on my forearm. I smiled softly looking back to him.

"Shower?" I questioned a tear rolling down my cheek to mix with the dried blood.

He looked concerned. "What the fuck happened?" He looked back towards the door. "Were you listening?"

I turned back to him. His nose had finally stopped bleeding. "Why'd you defend me?"

He smirked with a shake of his head. "Because I like you."

"Would Conner have defended me like that?" I questioned looking back to the floor.

He sighed softly. "Doubtful. I think he'd actually be agreeing with Da. In fact I recall having the same shitty ass conversation with him several days ago."

"So why don't you leave?" I questioned looking back up to him. "Why don't you listen?"

"I bloody well told you." He told me bringing his face closer to mine. "I like you.."

I tilted my head up to catch his lips in mine. "Fuckin' mick." I mumbled under my breath kissing him again. My arms snaked around his neck to pull me closer to him. Our mouths opened wider to taste each other more.

I pulled away with a smirk. "Shower?"

* * *

**A:N:** Leave ya'll hanging again. - Thanks again to: smite the mighty, penscratch, icydragon14, wolfchick11, Jade Opal, IrishSaints, Threnody Shepherd, and I Fancy Hugh Dancy. Thank you! I'll post more as soon as my internet decides it likes me again. It's a miracle that it worked for this.

Don't forget to review I love reviews so keep them coming!


	8. Chapter Eight: Beer and Black Thongs

**A:N: **Thanks to everyone for their great reviews. Jade Opal, icydragon14, wolfchick11, smite the mighty, penscratch, IrishSaints, Threnody Shepherd, and I Fancy Hugh Dancy. Thanks for the reviews. I love them and you know it!

Languages used in this chapter are Greek and German once again if anyone can actually understand them I apologize if they're wrong. I did my best to find the translations.

New poll next chapter!

Enjoy and review!

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

**Beer and Black Thongs **

We didn't shower together. I had decided that to be mean and shove him out of the bathroom while I showered. With the door locked I kept him out. He gave a few sarcastic remarks through the door and I turned the water on to ignore him.

People were always surprised at how short I take in the shower. I washed every little bit of me too. I just didn't like showers. I was more into baths but I'd settle for a quick shower. Just to get the grim off me. The blood washed off of me within seconds.

I shut the water off when I was finished stepping out of the shower. This place was a sty. I wouldn't say anything though. They had too much on their plate to deal with cleaning up the apartment. I grabbed a towel. I didn't want to put on my clothes. They were covered in nothing but blood and brains of the Russian man.

My head poked out from the bathroom. Murphy wasn't in the bedroom anymore. I stepped out looking for one of the MacManus brothers. Or even their father. I needed clothes. I didn't care how big they were. I just needed something else to wear. Too bad I didn't bring any clothes with me. My scrubs would work fine for pajamas. Stupid me.

I wrapped the towel tightly around my waist while I stepped out into the living room. Conner and Murphy were sitting at the table talking. Over what I didn't know nor did I really care at the moment. Conner was still covered in blood. As soon as Conner saw me his eyes went wide. I guess he didn't expect me to walk out in nothing but a towel. Murphy wasn't facing me so he hadn't noticed yet.

"Jesus Christ.." Conner began with a chuckle. "I think I can get use to you being here."

Murphy turned around and his mouth opened to say something but no words formed.

Conner smacked him upside the head. "Do plan on explaining what the fuck your doing?"

"Not getting back into blood soaked clothes that's what the fuck I'm doing." I told him with a smirk. "Do you guys have anything that I can wear or did you bring.."

Conner chuckled at me standing up and grabbing a big. "Smecker thought of that." He reached into the bag and I gasped while he pulled out my red lace panties. "He didn't have as much fun as I did rummaging through your underwear draw though." He held them to his crotch as if he was sizing them up. Murphy was chuckling loudly. "I don't think these are for me though. A little to tight." He cocked his head to the side as I walked towards him. "I'd love to see these damn things on you though.."

I grabbed them out of his hands while Murphy vouched his two cents in: "I bet those things make you look fuckin' fine."

I turned and smacked him upside the head then turned back and punched Conner in the chest. "You fuckin' assholes." I told them walking off with my underwear in hand and the bag as well. "I can't believe you went into my underwear draw."

"Ich liebe die schwarzen Peitschenschnuren!" Conner shouted back in German. I looked back at him. He was smirking holding up a pair.

I shock my head. "You fucking bastard!"

Murphy grabbed them looking at them intently. "How can you fuckin' stand wearin' these things?"

I shrugged. "Ask Conner. He's wearing them right now."

Conner gasped as I turned to walk back into the bedroom. "Bloody bitch."

I snickered while Murphy died of laughter. I shut the door and put on the red panties just to be a bitch later. Unfortunately Conner didn't understand the difference between dressing and casual. He put in a kimono halter-top and blue jeans with holes in them. I shook my head. I was going back to my apartment to grab more clothes. I shook my head stepping out the door.

"Conner I know that you love my panties," I began moving out to stand beside him. My hand rested on his shoulder and he looked up at me grinning wildly. "But next time spend less time with them than looking for clothes I can wear without worry about ruining the damn thing."

"What the fuck's wrong with it?" He pointed at me looking over to Murphy. "I think she looks fine."

"A kimono halter-top?" I questioned him with a raised eyebrow. "I wear this when I go clubbing, not for everyday things."

"Clubbing?" Murphy questioned with a look of oddness. I couldn't even describe the looked he like. "When did you have time for that?"

"Back in college." I told him with a smirk sitting down at the table. "When can I head back?"

"Couple of days." Conner told me. "Smeckers in the middle of an investigation. He's telling the other cops that you are staying with family. You'll give a statement on Friday."

I nodded. "Self defense?" He nodded. I looked over at Murphy who still had my panties in his hand. I reached over and grabbed them. "Mine." I shoved them into my pocket. "Well," I began standing up. "I still need to get to work." I told them with a smile. "Doc's having me close tonight again so I'll just stay there for the night."

"The hell you are." Murphy snorted.

"You'll stay with us." Conner growled at me as I headed for the door. "We'll head down to Doc's in a bit. We have some business to deal with before we do anything else tonight."

I nodded understanding what they meant. I didn't need to ask anything else. I waved goodbye before shutting the door behind me. I looked down at my shirt again. Not precisely what I needed to wear to work but I didn't mind too much. I hoped the Doc didn't mind that much at all.

I was partially down the stairs towards the ground floor when I heard the door to the stairwell open and close. "Tasha!" Murphy's voice came from above me. "Tasha wait!" I stopped leaning against the railing. He made his way down to me. "Why don't you ever take the fuckin' elevator?"

I shrugged. "I'm afraid of elevators."

"Jesus Christ." He mumbled shaking his head. "Learn to like them."

"Never." I snickered at him as he looked to the ground. "What's up? I'm late."

"Don't let anything Da said today get to ya." He told me softly; almost like he was worried Conner would hear. He looked back up at me. "He's just trying to protect ya."

"And you." I told him with a weak sigh. "Σας αγαπά πάρα πολύ. Έτσι κάνει τον αδελφό σας.."

He looked at me confused. "I thought you only knew three other languages?"

"That would be any use here." I told him with a smirk.

"What was that?"

I shrugged looking down then back to him. "Greek. My sister studied abroad for a year and taught me what she knew."

He smirked. "There's a lot more to you than meets the eye."

"No shit." I told him with a smile of my own. "What time do you think you'll be done tonight?"

He shrugged. "Hopefully before you close fuckin' close. I'll need a damn drink afterwards. And seein' ya safe will be nice."

"What makes you think I'm still in danger?" I questioned him he hovered over me now.

"When you decided to stay.." He told me planting a light kiss on my lips. "I'll see you tonight."

He headed back upstairs. "Be careful." I called up to him before heading back down towards the street. I needed to get to work. And so did they.

* * *

Doc was happy to see me back at work I loved working for him. Sure some of the guys who thought trying to grab my ass was a good idea but they quickly learned their place. However I did get a lot of flack for the kimono halter-top I was wearing. I didn't say anything about my apartment getting trashed. Just shrugged it off, as I felt Chinese for the day. It was the only thing I could say to hut them up.

I looked to the door. I was waiting for them. I was really worried but didn't want to be. My gut told me to stop. They'd be fine. I looked over at Doc. He was serving some people that the twins worked with at the meatpacking factory. I walked around quietly. Serving drinks with a cheery smile.

I moved back into the back of _McGinty's_. We needed to restock so I felt up to it. I needed to cool off anyway.

Doc walked back with me to help. "H-ho-how are the b-b-boys?"

I lifted a case into his arms with a shrug. "Not bad. They had to do something to do. Did some guy come in looking for me?"

Doc nodded. "A-agent Sme-Smecker." He stammered out with a growl. "Fuck! Ass! He said y-y-your apartment looked li-li-like shit. Fuck!"

"I bet." I murmured to myself. My glance went back to Doc as I pulled out the last two cases we needed.

"What the f-fuck happened now?"

I shrugged walking past him towards the door to the walk in cooler. "Russians love me I guess."

We walked back out to the bar. I unloaded all the beer back into the bar. I was getting ready to stand when I felt something incredibly cold roll down my back. I screeched as a hand wrapped around my waist and another hand pushed against whatever was on my back. I flared about trying in vain to break free. It was so cold.

Ice! I could feel it melting on my back!

I could hear everyone laughing. They were finding this way too fucking amusing. It was while I was trying to get free when I heard Conner burst out laughing. Glancing to the side I saw him out of the corner of my eye.

"Murphy!" I shouted bringing the back of my heel up to hit him in the knee. He let go and the ice fell out of my shirt. He backed off with a huge smile across his face. He was quite proud of himself. I grabbed nearest glass of whatever was full and splashed him right in the face.

Everyone was dying now. Murphy stood there, his mouth gapping like a fish. I started laughing at him, a bright happy smile across my face. Conner was practically dying across the counter. His laughter filled the bar. Murphy couldn't believe what I did. He moved to try to hug me but I bolted. He jumped over the counter grabbing me from behind.

He pulled me close to him hugging me tightly to him. I was going to reek of alcohol for days but I didn't care. I was having too much fun. Conner moved over and began to tickle me. I kicked at him but Murphy held onto me tightly to him. I was beginning to cry from laughing so hard. I was so ticklish. My brothers and whoever I was dating loved because it insured a fun way of entertainment. When they poked me I'd jump. Even when they acted like they'd poke I'd flinch.

I stared at Conner while Murphy rocked me in his arms. I could only grumble curses at them. They were still laughing at me. I held tightly to one of Murphy's arm. Conner and Murph dragged me over to where they were sitting at the bar. Doc let me sit with them without a problem. It was two as it was so no one else was going to come back in.

"So what the fuck did Smecker want?" I questioned looking at Conner. He looked at me confused. "He came by looking for me tonight."

"He wanted your damn statement." Conner told me swigging some more beer. "Christ I told you once today alright."

I looked over at him. "Funny, I remember my lacey red panties and my black thong being waved about in the air and nothing about the fucking statement."

Murphy pulled at my pants. "Which pair are ya wearin'?"

"Red lacey." I told him smacking his hand away. "I had clothes on when you were holding my thong." He pulled at my pants again and I smacked his hand harder. "What the fuck?"

He shrugged with a devilish smile. "What? They're nice?"

I shook my head at him looking back to Conner. "I should be use to this by now shouldn't I?"

"Considerin' your fooling around with him," He began with a smirk sipping on his beer quietly. "Probably yah."

"How the fuck do ya know about that?" Murphy questioned looking up at me while he blew out smoke.

I shook my head jumping onto his lap. "At least now I can sit on something comfy."

"I'm your brother Murph." Conner told him with a smirk. "I know fuckin' everything."

Conner chuckled walked off with his drink to talk to some old friends from the meatpacking plant. Murphy shook his head in disbelief then looked up at me.

I shrugged. "I just think you're comfy."

* * *

**A:N: **Thanks to everyone for their great reviews. Jade Opal, icydragon14, wolfchick11, smite the mighty, penscratch, IrishSaints, Threnody Shepherd, and I Fancy Hugh Dancy. Thanks for the reviews. Don't forget to review for this chappy. I love them and you know it.

**New poll next chapter!**

**Translations.**

German: I love the black thongs - Ich liebe die schwarzen Peitschenschnuren

Greek: He loves you very much. So does your brother - Σας αγαπά πάρα πολύ. Έτσι κάνει τον αδελφό σας.


	9. Chapter Nine: Hangovers and Talks

**A:N: **Thanks to everyone: wolfchick11, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, smite the mighty, Jade Opal, icydragon and I Fancy Hugh Dancy for their wonderful reviews. New poll is open!

Threnody Shepherd - yes

smite the mighty – thanks for the complement. I know Russians are like that. I work with several and they are blunt! Oh my god it is so scary how blunt they are.

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

**Hangovers and Talks**

We drank until about three or four. Maybe five, I wasn't really sure. Clocks all look the same when you've had about twelve beers and several shots of something. It was when Doc kicked us out when we realized that we needed to get home. Luckily I wasn't as hammered as Murphy and Conner were.

I shoved them into the elevator and pushed their floor. I took the stairs. It didn't take as long as I thought it would. I made it up as the guys stumbled out of the elevator. Conner tripped over to me with a dopey grin. I helped him stand up.

"I think," He began laughing hardily. "I'm a lit..little drunk."

"No shit?" Murph questioned.

I shook my head. "If I run into any Russians I'm going to fucking kill you two."

"No Russians." Da began stepping down the hallway to give me a hand. "Just Irishmen. How much did they have?"

I handed Conner off to him while I grabbed Murphy. "I lost count."

"Oh dear." He began dragging Conner back to the apartment. He grabbed his son by the face to find he had passed out. "Must of wanted to forget the goin's on of today."

We walked back inside the apartment. We took them back to the bed room. Da simply dumped Conner on the bed. He didn't even wake up. I pushed Murphy onto the bed with a slight shove. God he was heavy when he was halfway towards sleepy-town. When I shoved him he grabbed hold of my arm and pulled me back on top of him. I chuckled shaking my head at him.

"Why do-don't you stay?" He questioned me, his speech slurred the smell of alcohol was rank on his breath.

"How about I stay when you can remember asking me too?" I asked him with a smirk. I looked over at Da who stood in the doorway. He looked so sternly at me. A look that I only thought that my father could do. I turned back to Murphy. "Get some rest fuck-face."

" 'Fuck-face'?" He grumbled stretching hi arms out over his head. "I go from comfy to 'fuck-face'?"

I shrugged rolling off him. "What can I say? I changed opinions quickly."

I walked out of the room. Da followed me his eyes were so serious. I knew he was going to talk to me as he had with Murphy earlier in the day. I moved to sit on the couch. I wasn't really in mood for a discussion about anything with Da. Especially about Murphy and me. I did care for him very much and Conner as well.

Murphy was different from Conner though. Murphy was aggressive than Conner. Able to notice things a little better than him. Like three girls that were hitting on Conner half the night and he was paying more attention to Murphy and me. I was positive that Conner hadn't noticed. I was also positive that Conner would never of kissed me in such a manner that Murphy had. Then again I doubt he would of ever kissed me.

Da sat in the chair across from the couch where I lay down now. He stared at me. Like he wanted to say something but couldn't figure out what.

"What's wrong Da?" I questioned with a sigh. "The hit go bad or something?"

He stared at me. "Everything went fine. I just have some questions for you."

I began to count off things on my fingers. "I'm not Catholic, I'm not a sparrow, I do care, I don't know why I just do, I've almost died several times before this so I really don't care, and the chances of you getting rid of me is fucking slim." I looked back over at him; he was just staring at me, perplexed because of what I said so I figured I'd add in some more to be a smart ass. "And I'm not a virgin but the chances the twins are is quite unlikely too."

He stared at me then smiled. He chuckled. "My, my, aren't we blunt?"

"Rather be blunt than being quiet and festering for days on end." I grumbled at him sitting up. "I'm sorry if you feel like I shouldn't be here. "

He continued to stare at me. Why he seemed so surprised by what I said I didn't know or really give a damn. "How close?"

I looked over to him while I began to lie down again. "What?"

"You said you've almost died several times." He paused for a moment while I recalled what I said. "How?"

I shut my eyes tightly. I knew there was no way out of this one. If I didn't say anything I ran the risk of not being able to come back. I let out a heavy sigh. "I was four when I came down with pneumonia. I was in the hospital for a month." I rolled up my pant leg to reveal a terrible seven and a half inch bite mark on my calf. The scar was awful. Jagged and rough. "I was swimming in Florida when my family a on vacation, a bull shark came up took a damn bite out of me."

"He took a chunk out of you." He told me leaning up so he could feel the bite.

"Almost had the whole fucking calf." I told him rolling my pant leg down. "At I fifteen I was gang raped." Shutting my eyes, I shook my head. "They beat me practically to death..that's why I started packing. I never went any where without a knife and when I was old enough a gun." I raised my bangs to reveal another scar on my forehead that I had kept hidden. "Motocross accident. I was taking a jump and the damn bike came out from underneath me. I landed on my head and the helmet caved in to my skull and I ended up in a coma for a month."

He simply stared at me. "You're a walking accident."

I shrugged it off letting my bangs fall back over my forehead. "My family's just unlucky. Even my brothers have a hellish life if they just say all the accidents that have happened to them."

"Even these incidents don't prepare for the possibility of death."

"Death is as uncertain as life." I told him with a growl.

"True." He replied softly leaning forward again. "It is not that you don't fear death, it's that you cloud judgment."

I stared at him. "What?"

"You cloud Murphy's judgment." He told me softly worried about them hearing. Why? They were fucking passed out. "He's worried about you when he's on a hit now."

Dear god. He was asking me to fucking leave! After I told him I wouldn't!

I sat up and glared at him. "I'm not going anywhere." I hissed at him. "In case you missed that the first time I said it. I care for your boys and for some strange reason you, you fuckin' bastard."

He smiled at me. "Get some sleep."

I shook my head standing up and heading out the door. "I'm too fuckin' grouchy."

I walked out into the street. My head still spinning but I didn't really care. I remember walking around, a bridge and that's pretty much it. Several people had approached me asking if I was all right. I think that I was a going down towards my apartment. Actually I was almost there.

I walked up to my apartment. It was covered in Crime Scene tape. I ignored it, walking through it and into the room. I sat on my turned over couch and sighed softly. I smirked to myself looking around. This place was totally and utterly trashed.

"Jesus Christ.." I murmured to myself. I shook my head but I stopped when a gun clicked to my head.

* * *

**A:N**: Yeah I'm mean. Thanks again to wolfchick11, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, smite the mighty, Jade Opal, icydragon and I Fancy Hugh Dancy for their wonderful reviews.

**New poll:** Should she stay or should she go?


	10. Chapter Ten: Guns and Kisses

**A:N: **Thanks to everyone for their great reviews. IrishSaints, babyhilts, azzi, wolfchick11, Jade Opal, smite the mighty, Threnody Shepherd, penscratch, icydragon14, and I Fancy Hugh Dancy; thank you so much! I love reviews and everyone knows it.

So all votes so far say that Tasha is staying. But what do you have to say? Does Tasha stay or does she go?

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

**Guns and Kisses**

_There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea.  
You became the light on the dark side of me.  
Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.  
But did you know,  
That when it snows,  
My eyes become large and  
The light that you shine can be seen.  
Baby,  
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.  
Ooh,  
The more I get of you,  
Stranger it feels, yeah.  
And now that your rose is in bloom.  
A light hits the gloom on the grey.  
There is so much a man can tell you,  
So much he can say.  
You remain,  
My power, my pleasure, my pain, baby  
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny.  
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby?  
But did you know,  
That when it snows,  
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen_.

I shut my eyes tightly. God what a bad fucking day. I felt tears forming in my eyes. The gun was pressed against my temple. It was just grinding into my skull. I shuddered when I heard the person chuckle at me. I wanted to do something. But nothing was coming to mind. Not any brilliant thing that you always see on television. I couldn't do anything but sit there with a gun to my head.

Slowly the person moved so they sat behind me. An arm moved around my neck to pull me back against him. "You shouldn't be goin' out alone."

I let out a sigh of relief as Murphy lowered the gun from my head. I turned and smacked him in the face. He laughed at me. "You fucking prick!" I grumbled at him. "I can't believe you! I thought you were passed out!"

"I was." He told me with a pause. "Five hours ago. Da woke me up said you got pissed off at 'im and left."

I nodded with a sigh. "He really doesn't like me does he?"

He shrugged then shook his head. "Not really. But I do."

I smiled letting my head fall to the side to rest on his shoulder. "And Conner?"

He smirked. "Of course. Who couldn't like you dammit?" He stepped in before I could say anything. "Except Da."

"Of course." I told him with a smirk looking up at him. "That wasn't nice."

He smirked at me. "I thought it was fuckin' hilarious."

"Holding a gun to my head is 'fuckin' hilarious'?" I questioned as he leaned down closer to my face.

He nodded. I bent back as he leaned forward. He chuckled at me. "What are you doing?"

I lay back on the couch. I shrugged quietly with a smirk. "Just being me." He moved so he hovered over me. A devilish smile on his face, he moved to kiss me but I stopped him. "Murph. Don't worry about me." He looked down at me, his smiled faded. "I can take care of myself."

"I just care about you.." He told me softly.

I smiled brightly. "I know. I don't want your attitude to be different. I don't want it to fuck up the job."

He nodded. "Natasha.." He stared at me and I glanced up. His hand moved to my cheek bringing me closer to him. Without another word he pressed his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him down on me. God his lips felt so good against mine.

The kiss was long, his arms wrapped tightly around my body, to pull me into his warmth. His tongue parted my lips. I opened my mouth wide, letting him explore my body. My hands ran over his back, pulling his coat off of him without a second thought. It fell carelessly to the floor. I pushed myself onto my elbows; he wasn't willing to let me take control.

He arched against me so he had enough weight against my body, preventing me from having any real advantage with him. He grabbed both of my hands and pinned them above my head, holding tightly with one hand he let the other have free range of my body.

I shook my head. "No.."

He stopped. His look was nothing short of startled and shocked. "What?" His breathing was heavy and labored. "Did I do somethin-"

I shook my head again. "No..no..I'm sorry Murph.." I kissed his cheek. "I haven't gotten that much sleep at all today. I need some rest.."

He looked at me as if I was lying. As if I was trying not to let this happen. Bull shit. I wanted this to happen but it was at least seven or eight in the morning. Early enough to be light enough outside.

"I'm not lying Murphy." I told him, his grip becoming looser. "I want this.. just when I'm not about ready to pass out."

He scoffed, getting off me. "Fine then."

I sat up grabbing his forearm. "You haven't gotten my a lot of sleep either." He stared at me as I moved to straddle him. His hand traveled up my back to get tangled in my short-cropped hair. I covered my mouth over his, my nails digging into his shoulders. I pulled away; our lips were still so close. Just a brush away. Enough where I could still taste the cigarette on his breath.

He nodded. Obviously he was not too mad at me if he would stay. Without another word, I stepped off of him, my hand holding his to pull him towards my bedroom. The bed was surprisingly intact for the most part. The bed was a little out of place but I didn't care. I fell comfortable on it. I took off my shirt and pants to curl up under the sheets. Murphy did the same, removing his clothes to get some rest as well.

He moved closer to me. His arm wrapped around my waist while he rest on the other one. I stared up at him. My eyes growing heavy. God I was so tired. I felt his lips touch my forehead as I drifted off into a quiet but deep sleep.

* * *

I woke up first. Murphy was so peaceful when he slept. Still as anyone could be. He didn't toss when he slept. That was kind of nice. Not to loud when he snored. It was nice. I had slept with guys in the actually sleeping for rest and some were loud and kicked like none other! I looked at his watch that rested on the stand. Twelve thirty-seven in the afternoon. I sat up, the sheets falling down to my waist where I sat up.

Murphy stirred beside me, I shrugged him off though and got out of bed. Moving quietly into the living room I just shook my head at the sight of the disaster that I was my apartment. I walked over to the kitchen; opening the door I got some Mountain Dew from the shelf. I couldn't stand coffee but I needed caffeine when I woke up.

The phone began to ring. I thought it was my brothers making sure I was all right and checking in with me. I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Byl on horoshij?" A Russian voice came on with a sinister chuckle.

I understood him completely but tried to play dumb. "Hello? Who is this?"

Another man came on the phone. "Sappiamo che è là."

My heart skipped a beat. "I'm sorry I can't understand you."

"So che potete voi femmina scopante!" The man screamed at me in Italian. "Lo desidero morti ed il suo fratello. Se ottenete nel senso del mio

obiettivo allora sarete guasti anche."

"Well I guess you'll have to kill me then." I told him with a growl. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Buon allora." He told me with a sinister laugh. "Li desidero prima che li uccida. Desidero a vaffunculo. In quelle mutandine lacey rosse piacevoli."

Without another word I hung up the phone and looked to the window. It was closed along with the curtains. I moved quickly back into the bedroom. The curtains were wide open. I shook my head quickly walking over to shut it. Murphy stirred at the sudden sound. He looked over at me as I walked back towards the living room.

"What's wrong?" He questioned while I walked out.

I ignored him walking over to the door to make sure I was it was locked. Then again it was broken so I just pushed a chair underneath the doorknob. I walked back into the bedroom, Murph was sitting on the edge of them bed. He looked tired, a cigarette half hanging out of his mouth.

"What happened?" He questioned as I stepped in front of him. He stared at my chest for a moment before looking up at me. "Tasha?"

I shook my head sitting down on his lap. "Just my brothers." I lied trying to block the threats from my mind Ignoring that they were closer than I wanted them to be at all\. "They're fine."

He looked at me with an all-knowing eye.

I looked at him confused. "I'm sitting on you fuckin' half naked and you're just staring at me?"

He set the cigarette aside, his arms moving instinctively around my waist. He smiled pressing his lips against my shoulders. "You had plans for me?"

"No." I told him with such sternness it made him stare at me in shock. Then a changed to a happier tone. "For Conner on the other hand." He shook his head flipping me over so he hovered over me. I was laughing hardily to myself and he shook his head down at me. "What? Didn't want to hear the rest?"

"Not really no." He told me with a growl. It wasn't a mean growl though a happy one. He pressed his lips to mine roughly before pulling away. "God you're fuckin' annoyin'.."

I smirked up at him. "I know, it's part of what makes me cute."

* * *

**A:N:** Thanks to everyone : IrishSaints, babyhilts, azzi, wolfchick11, Jade Opal, smite the mighty, Threnody Shepherd, penscratch, icydragon14, and I Fancy Hugh Dancy; for their great reviews! I love them and you know it!

Poll is so far that she stays but it's up to you! Does Natasha stay or get gone?

**Translations:**

Was he good - Russian - Byl on horoshij

We know he's there – Italian - Sappiamo che è là

I know you can you fucking bitch – Italian - So che potete voi femmina scopante

I want him dead and his brother. If you get in the way of my goal then you'll be dead too – Italian - Lo desidero morti ed il suo fratello. Se ottenete nel senso del mio obiettivo allora sarete guasti anche.

Good then – Italian - Buon allora

I want you before I kill you. I want to fuck you. In those nice red lacey panties - Italian - Li desidero prima che li uccida. Desidero a vaffunculo. In quelle

mutandine lacey rosse piacevoli


	11. Chapter Eleven: Striptease

**A:N: **Thanks for all the reviews. Jade Opal, Threnody Shepherd, wolfchick11, IrishSaints, babyhilts, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch, and I Fancy Hugh Dancy.

I know the last few chappies were very mean. Alright last call for if she stays or goes. So far stays has it.

This chapter dabbles into what Tasha did during college.

* * *

**Chapter Eleven **

**Striptease**

_She pooping she rolling she rolling  
She climbing that pole and  
I'm in love with a stripper  
She tripping she playing she playing  
I'm not going nowhere girl, I'm staying  
I'm in love with a stripper  
_

I decided to spend the next few days in New York. I just needed to get away from everything. With me gone for a few days the boys could at least think over the situation with me. I had told Da that I'd be back in a few days so that I didn't have to deal with their questions. I walked down some back roads I knew, staring at the bright lights and beautiful people as they walked around me.

It didn't take long for me to find where I was going. When I had gone to school at NYU with her we had both worked here. _Satan's Dolls. _I know exactly what it sounds like and yes it is a strip joint. When we were in college this place paid better than any restaurant. We got the basic pay plus whatever we made. Billy, the man who ran the place, was always awesome about the place. The nicest guy in the business. Treated the girls with respect at least.

I loved working for him. I did miss dancing, I know how slutty it sounds but everyone has their ways of paying for college. It was better than working four jobs and going to college full time.

I looked up at the bouncer who raised an eyebrow at me. New guy. I didn't recognize him. Billy went through bouncers a lot. They hassled the girls a lot. Only Mick and Jesse were the two bouncers that had been around the longest.

They didn't have much in the way of entertainment for me. Unless they thought I was a lesbian, which I wasn't. I handed him the cover charge and walked into the joint.

Girls were all over the place along with men, sitting their with their hard-ons just wanting to score a little action with the dancer in front of them. I looked around. On one of the far tables was where I saw her. Gillian Davis. We called her Davy for short though. She hadn't her name and who could blame her?

I looked over at her with a smile. I moved to sit down right in front of the table pulling out several twenties to wave at her. She saw me as she twisted around her pole. I smiled looking to one of the men who sat in front of her. His hand on his crotch he just stared at me. I winked at him as a joke and looked back up to Davy.

She finished her set up and jumped off the stage and onto my lap. Awkward in so many ways but amusing to watch the men stare at me in jealousy because I had a beautiful half naked chick on my lap. I smacked her ass to be a bitch. I'd known her since I was seven.

"Tasha." She mused at me giving me a hug. "You make them mad when you do that. Then I don't get rent money."

"I don't think so." I told her with a shrug shoving some of the twenties in her g-string. "I think it makes them hornier."

"What are you doing in town?" She questioned me crossing her arms over her naked breasts. "I thought you were in Boston?"

I nodded with a sigh. "I did. I just needed to get the hell out of Dodge."

"I heard about your apartment." She told me with a sigh. "Your mom called the apartment when the FBI was there. Russians? How the fuck did so get in so much trouble without me?"

"You'd be amazed." I told her flagging another girl for a drink. "Dry Martini."

"Try me."

"Later." I replied while a man walked up to us. Bouncer by the looks of it, dressed in all black with large muscles ready to kick me out. "Can I help you?"

"Yes you can let the dancer be." He hissed. "I'm positive she has better things to do than fuck around with her lesbo girlfriend.

Suddenly Billy was standing beside him, his hand on the bouncers shoulder and I could only giggle as the girl brought me my drink. "Jacob, this is Tasha, she's allowed to come and go as she fuckin' pleases." Jacob looked at him confused. "She danced her you dip shit, now get back to work."

I smiled standing up, Davy got off me so I could and I hugged Billy tightly. "Good to seeya Billy."

"Good to see you Tasha." He told me sitting down with Davy and me. She smiled at me sitting on his lap. If there was one thing Billy did it was make girls who didn't work feel welcomed. "I'm happy you decided to come over. All the boys are missing you and Davy's act."

I snickered taking a sip of my drink. "I'm sure they do. _Dirty _was always fun. How's business been?"

"Not bad." He told me looking around at the men in the bar. "As long as there are perverts there will always be business. You should dance tonight. Give the guys one last show just for the hell of it."

I laughed with a grand smile. "Perhaps I'll dance tonight. I do miss having an audience."

"What no men in Boston?" Davy questioned with a smile and a laugh.

"None that know I was an exotic dancer." I informed them with a smile leaning back in the chair. I did miss dancing a lot though. I know it sounds slutty but when you're paying for college on your own and you don't care just as long as you don't turn into a hooker. You eventually ignore the hoots and just dance for yourself. That and it pays a lot better than a waitress.

"Well," Billy smirked looking up at one of the poles. "We got some clothes in the back you can use. They're clean but they may be a little tight."

"Are you saying I've gained weight?" I questioned him with a growl. He snickered. "Fine." I stood up just wanting to prove what he said was wrong. "I'll get my clothes on, put on something I can grind on."

"How's the leg?"

I snickered knowing he was joking about my shark bite. The nickname the guys had given me was the Great White. "It'll get some stares but when I shake my thang no one will notice."

I began to walk in the back when I noticed two guys at the door that I didn't really expect to. I mumbled an 'oh shit' under my breath. Conner and Murphy at the door and walking towards me, both with worried looks on their faces.

I walked up to them. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Murphy grabbed my hand and pulled me aside into a curtained area. "Don't be mad."

"Fuck off." I screamed at him with a growl pushing against him. "I needed time alone."

"What the fuck where you planning on doing?" Murphy questioned looking around the room at the naked women and horny as fuck guys.

Conner grabbed me now. "You were followed."

"I don't give a shit." I mumbled looking at them directly. "If you hadn't noticed they've been using me to get to you." I crossed my arms looking around. Billy was coming over to see what was wrong but I shook my head. "Come with me." I told them walking back into the back room. They followed me closely into one of the dressing room. "I came to New York so they'd think I'd left.."

Conner shook his head. "Ya didn't need to do that."

"I have friends in New York too!" I growled at them pulling my shirt over my head. "I worked here in college my best friend is out there right now."

Murphy raised an eyebrow while I finished taking off my pants. "What the hell are ya doin'?"

"Billy asked me to dance." I told him with a sigh reaching for a black bikini top. "I said I would."

Conner smirked patting Murphy on the back. "I'm getting a seat."

He left Murphy and me alone as I pulled on a pair of leather pants. I didn't give a shit. He'd pissed me off enough tonight. I came up to be alone with old friends not with them. Although I must admit I was happy to see them. I heard Murphy inhale. I was guessing he was staring. I looked back at him briefly. He was.

"Perve." I told him pulling bikini top on.

"You're the one dancin' in this fuckin' place." He told me stepping up so there was barely any space between us. I looked up at him over my shoulder. "Why?"

"Because I can." I told him with a hiss. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"We came to warn ya." He replied his head tilting down to rest on my shoulder. "They're trailing you."

"I know." I told him turning around and placing my hands on his chest. "I know when someone's trailing me. I told you not to worry about me dammit."

"Da sent us too." He told me. "He wanted to make sure your okay."

"Bullshit." I told him turning around and reaching for a black newsie cap. "Da fucking hates me. Don't even try to defend him. You know he does."

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back into him. "He does care. You're too stubborn not to care for dammit." I smiled pressing against him briefly before backing away. "You're fuckin' mean."

"You haven't seen me danc---" I began to inform him until his lips crashed down on mine. I felt his arms move around my body. Pulling me closer to him, he raised me up off the ground. My legs instinctively went around his waist. He pushed me back against the wall. I moaned softly, his lips pressing harder and harder. My mouth opened wider to allow his tongue to battle mine.

The door opened and I looked over to see Davy walked in. She began to snicker. "Well, that's what was taking you so fucking long." Murphy glared over at her. "You got a problem with me asshole?"

I smacked him upside at head and he set me down. "Ready?"

"Yeah," She told me with a smirk. "How's singing and dancing sound to ya?"

I frowned at her. "You bitch."

"What's that mean?" Murphy asked while I walked past him.

"It means she'll say 'I sound like a dying coyote in a trash compactor'. Which doesn't mean jack shit since we don't actually sing." She told him with a growl. She looked to my clothes and scoffed. "They still fit."

"Fuck you." I told her and she skipped away. I looked back to Murphy with a shake of my head. "Get a seat."

He grabbed my hand. "How did your other boyfriends feel about you doing this shit?"

"I general didn't date that much in college." I told him looking at him with a sigh. "Where'd that come from?"

"I don't want you to dance." He told me with a hiss.

"Jealous?"

"Bullshit." He grumbled looking at the floor.

"Then why'd you say it?" I questioned seeing Davy looking at us with an annoyed glare.

"Because I just don't."

I shook my head. He didn't understand what I meant. What the hell? Other boyfriends? I just brushed him off with a growl. "Get in the audience. I don't care how pissy you are."

I walked out back of the stage to find Davy staring at me more annoyed than Murphy was. "You don't like him do you?"

"You couldn't tell?" She questioned her hands on her hips. At least she had a top on this time. "Who the hell is his brother though? He damn fine."

I shook my head. "What was the song you choose?"

"_Dirty_. Do you think your man will get pissed by me dancing with you?" She told me as the music started. "He seems jealous."

"I don't get him sometimes." I growled at her crossing my arms. "He tells me he won't worry then he comes to fuckin' New York and gets all pissy at me!"

"Jealous." She told me as she stepped out first spinning around on the first pull. I felt the beat in my head listening quietly while she started singing. "_Ladies."_

"_Move_." I began walking out behind her to spin around her and lower down to the floor. "_Gentlemen_."

"_Move_." She sang stepping over me to move to the nearest pole. "_Somebody ring the alarm. A fire on the roof_."

"_Ring the alarm_!"

We moved next to each other. Back to back shaking our bodies to the beat. I could barely see anyone in the audience but then I saw Murphy. He sat at the base of the stage. He still looked fucking pissed as hell. I smirk to him as I stepped out.

"_Ooh, I'm overdue, Gimme some room,_" I rotated my hips bending backwards. "_I'm coming through. Paid my dues. In the mood_." I looked over at Davy. "_Me and my girls gonna shake the room_!"

We went into our dance and I stared at Murphy the entire time. His eyes were glued not my body. But my eyes, I could only smile. He was still pissed but I didn't care anymore. I was pretty pissed that he had come up here. Even if Da had sent them to keep an eye on me, which I doubted, I was going to be pissed off as hell!

Everyone else was looking at my body moving to the rhythm of the music.

I knelt down so I could jump off the stage into the audience.

"_Temperature's up_!" Davy cried out spinning on the poll. "'_bout ready to erupt. Gonna get my girls_."

"_Get your boys_."

"_Gonna make some noise_!" We both sang out and she jumped off stage with me. Suddenly a gunshot went off. Davy screamed and I shoved her to the ground. I looked up at the door to see a group of Italian men walk in.

I looked over to Murphy and Conner. They stood their guns drawn. I screamed at them to get down but they couldn't hear me. Gunfire came and I pulled Davy along on the floor towards the under the stage. I pushed her under the stage.

"Go!" I screamed at her. "I'll meet you back at your apartment."

"Tasha!" She screamed as I shut the door and I moved, crawling over to where Murphy and Conner stood.

I was watching them as they shot over and over again. The Italian men didn't even to bother moving, they took bullets and sent them towards the twins. I screamed at them to move their asses but they couldn't hear me. I covered my head as the table above me got shot to hell. I screamed in horror. Conner fell beside me. Blood explodedfrom his shoulder.

"Conner!"

He screamed as the gun fell out of his hand. I reached over and aimed. Murphy was still standing while I shot passed him at the men. I screamed at him to move. He heard and jumped. There were only three left. It only took three shots to get them too. Murphy collapsed to the ground. I stared at him; his eyes were wide in pain. I could see why as he turned.

He was shot in the side. I covered my mouth; Conner grabbed the gun from my hand. His eyes were harsh and full of pain.

"Dear god.." I whispered as he got to his feet. We moved over to the Murphy pulling him to his feet. "Murphy.." I looked over a Conner as he covered the wound with his hand. "Come on. Davy's homes not far from here." I helped Conner take him back to the car. Billy was left staring at the mess. Conner got into the drivers seat and I jumped in the back with Murphy.

I held him close to me. My hand pressed against the wound. "Drive dammit!"

* * *

**A:N:** Thanks again and I know it was a little slutty. Never mind on that though. Thanks to: Jade Opal, Threnody Shepherd, wolfchick11, IrishSaints, babyhilts, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch, and I Fancy Hugh Dancy for their great reviews.

Poll is closer after this chapter. Does she stay or go? Thanks again!


	12. Chapter Twelve: MASH

**A:N: **Thanks for all the reviews. Jade Opal, Threnody Shepherd, wolfchick11, IrishSaints, babyhilts, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch, and I Fancy Hugh Dancy. Back to action and all that good stuff and short and sweet.

Polls in. SHE STAYS!

IrishSaints: I was looking at the spelling in the movie for Conner and it is e not o. I know it drives me nuts too.

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

**M.A.S.H**

_I know we are ­ we are the lucky ones.  
I know we are ­ we are the lucky ones.  
I know we are ­ we are the lucky ones, dear._

_The first time we made love, I­ I wasn't sober.  
(And you told me you loved me over and over!)  
How could I ever love another, when I miss you every day ­_

We got Murphy up to Davy's apartment. He was bleeding all over the floor. I could only pray nothing major had been hit. I screamed at Conner to get him on the table. I pushed everything off the table as Conner placed him on the table. Murphy screamed in utter pain. I ran over to the sink. Davy had to have some of my gloves somewhere. Usually they were under the sink.

They were.

I looked over at him. I couldn't believe how much blood he had lost. It probably wasn't that bad but it looked like shit. I got the gloves on while I looked over at Davy who stood in a corner. She hated the sight of blood. Always telling me she'd never visit me when I was working. Shit she couldn't stand horror films because of all of the fake blood.

I didn't need this from her right now though.

"Davy! I know you hate this shit but I need you to get me some fucking thread and needle!" She shook her head, tears flowing from her eyes. "Goddamit just do it!"

She moved quickly to get the damn thread and needle. I looked back to Murphy and he was beginning to shake. "Please hold him down!" I growled. "I don't want anymore of the muscles being torn.

He nodded pressing down with his good arm. "What the fuck's wrong with him?"

"I need you to hold him down!" I screamed moving to look at his wound. From the area it was in I assumed the bullet had missed anything vital. I looked over at Davy who brought back her sewing kit. I looked at her with a glare so she knew I wasn't shitting her. "I need you to get me some hemostats."

Murphy writhed again arching his back. "Fuckin' Christ!"

"Stay still." I told him while Davy handed me three hemostats.

I used the hemostats to pry the wound open. I grabbed another hemostat and began to fish around the bullet. Muttering curses under my breath, I made my way past the muscle, only to have Murphy scream and begin to squirm. I pushed him down and Conner put all of his weight on him.

After we got him back under control I began to look for the bullet. I could see the sheen of the bullet. There was so much blood. I managed to pull it out with no complications. I looked over at Conner who looked terrified.

I put the bullet aside. "Keep him like this." I told Conner while I moved over to grab some thread. "Davy." I looked at her as she began to turn green. I shook my head she was such a pussy. "Medicine cabinet. I need all the bactine you've got now."

She nodded walking away quickly. She was probably going to puke on the way.

I looked up to Conner; his wound wasn't as bad, just barely bleeding now. The bullet was still in there so I'd have to get it out. But it wasn't himself he was concerned about. He stared at me, confused and terrified over what was happening with Murphy. He cared for him so much. I guess having a twin just did that. Even my brothers were like that.

"He'll be alright." I told him with a sigh as I placed the muscles back under the skin. "How's your arm?"

He shook his head his hand on his brother's forehead. "It's nothing."

"Once I get this sewn I'll look at it." I told him as Davy walked back in and handed off the bactine and left. I shook my head. "Pussy."

"Don't sew it." He told me with a hiss.

I looked up at him my eyes wide. "Are you fucking insane? What the fuck am I suppose to do? If the wound isn't close he could get an infection and bleed to death."

"Cauterize it."

"The likelihood of an infection goes up!"

"But it'll heal ten times faster!" He growled at me. "I don't give a fuck about the infection rates. Just clean it and get closed! Got it?"

"Fuckin' idiot." I mumbled at him pressing my bloody hands to my head. "Get an knife and put it on the stove. Turn it onto high. Make sure you clean the damn thing though. Soup's under the sink."

He went and did what I told him. I looked to Murphy. He was barely awake. Just from the blinding pain. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. At least he wasn't flaring around anymore. I shook my head resting my head on the table. My eyes shut tightly. I felt a hand on my back. I looked up at Conner.

I sighed at him. "This is why I came up here. So they couldn't get to you two." I looked to the stove. "Give that three more minutes."

He nodded sitting beside me, his hand on his brother's arm then he looked to me. "Are you alright?"

I looked down at myself. "Nothing hit me and I'm in my work clothes." I looked back to him and he raised his eyebrow. "Nope I'm fine."

"Nice dancing by the way." He looked at the bathroom as we heard Davy vomit. "She okay?"

I shrugged. "Davy hates the sight of blood. I'm so sorry."

He shook he head. "It's not your fault."

I rested my head on the table. "Do you hate me Conner?"

He looked at me startled. "What?"

"I'm sorry," I shut my eyes and shook my head. "That came out wrong?"

"I was just pissy over Murphy takin' a liken to ya." He informed me with a sigh of his own looking back to the knife.

It occurred to me then that I looked over to him as he got up. "Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why were you pissy?" I asked him walking over to him.

He shook his head reaching for the knife. Without a glove. I grabbed his arm and handed him an oven mitt. "That could help." I jumped on the counter to look him in the eye. "Answer is needed?" I nodded. "I kinda liked ya, more so than I do now."

"In other words you had a dirty thought?"

He pointed at me with the glowing knife. "Thoughts."

"Why didn't you say anything?" I questioned him walking back over to Murphy. I began to rip his shirt so we could get to the wound better. He winced.

He walked over to me and grabbed Murphy's arm so he wouldn't hit anything. I got up on Murphy's waist, straddling him so he wouldn't thrash up.

"I knew you liked 'im." He told me beginning to lower the knife. "'e liked you. I moved out of the way."

I smiled. "Sorry."

"You really care for him?" He questioned me and I nodded. "Good." He looked down at his brother. "Then hold him down because this is gonna hurt like fuckin' hell!"

* * *

**A:N:** Jade Opal, Threnody Shepherd, wolfchick11, IrishSaints, babyhilts, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch, and I Fancy Hugh Dancy, thanks again for the reviews. a new poll will be up soon so just keep reading and reviewing! I love reviews. 


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Rescue Me

**A:N: **Thanks for all the reviews: cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch. I appreciate each review and hope that you continue to review.

Hope you like this next chapter. Please continue to review! I love reviews.

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen **

**Rescue Me**

_It's true, we're all a little insane  
But its so clear  
Now that I'm unchained_

Fear is only in our minds  
Taking over all the time  
Fear is only in our minds but its taking over all the time

You poor sweet innocent thing  
Dry your eyes and testify  
You know you live to break me- don't deny  
Sweet sacrifice

One day I'm gonna forget your name  
And one sweet day, you're gonna drown in my lost pain 

_  
I dream in darkness  
I sleep to die e  
Raise the silence  
Erase my life  
Our burning ashes  
Blacken the day  
A world of nothingness  
Blow me away_

Do you wonder why you hate?  
Are you still too weak to survive your mistakes?

You poor sweet innocent thing  
Dry your eyes and testify  
You know you live to break me- don't deny  
Sweet sacrifice

It didn't take long to get the bullet out of Conner's shoulder. However he wasn't so nice when I went to cauterize it. He writhed and screamed. Davy helped me hold him down. After we got the wound closed Conner helped me move Murphy to my old room. Davy insisted that Conner sleep in her room. He was exhausted and he needed to sleep. I helped move him there. He was so weak.

Davy walked out to where I sat now, on the couch, completely drained of all my energy. She still looked a little queasy. "So." She began sitting across from me. "What the fucking hell is happening?"

"I'll explain later." I told her with a weak sigh. "I'm so tired. Will you keep an eye on Conner for the night?" She looked over at me annoyed. "I need to watch Murphy. He's in worse shape than he is. I need to stay with him. Besides I get the feeling you like him well enough."

She smiled at that. "Fine, I'll get an explanation out of him then."

We both got up and moved to the doors of our rooms. Her room and my old room I suppose. I looked to Murphy. He was so still, his breathing still harsh though. I could only stare at him. I was so torn over what had happened that I wanted just to leave. To go somewhere that they could never find me, but I couldn't do that. I walked back to him and sat down beside him.

My hand touched his forehead. At least he didn't have a fever. That was a good sign. If he had a fever then I wouldn't have a choice but to take him to the hospital. That would be even stupider though. I lay beside him and curled up beside him. I was so tired. I needed to stay awake though. With him going in and out of it I couldn't just leave him to settle my own needs.

I rested my head against his shoulder. I felt him stir, I looked up at him with a weak smile. His eyes were opened. Just barely though. He smiled down to me.

"Hi.." I told him with a smirk. "Are you alright?"

"Sore." He told me with a wheeze. His hand rested on mine. "What the fuck happened?"

"You got shot."

He shook his head. "No shit. I meant with Conner. What he said to you."

I raised myself up so I could look at him. "If he liked me good for him. I don't like him that way." I smirked giving him a peck on the cheek. "I thought I made that clear."

He snickered shifting so he rested on his side. I tried to stop him. He just did it anyway.

"Dammit Murph," I began with a shake of my head. "I don't want the damn thing to open again." I moved him back so he was lying down on his side. "Stay down."

"Yes Nurse Tasha." He mumbled out his hand on my cheek.

"Conner was really scared." I told him with a sigh. "He was scared that he lost you."

"Now he knows how I fuckin' felt." He whispered and I cocked my head to what he had said. Obviously he noticed I was confused. "A year ago, we had pissed off the Russians, the bloody warps had made St. Patty's day a livin' hell." He shut his eyes remembering what happened. "They broke into our apartment. Put a gun to my head and whacked Conner on his. They took me down the street, cuffed him to the toilet." He looked at me. "They were going to kill me the fuckin' bastards. Conner pulled the toilet out of the floor. Got on the roof and dropped it on the fuckin' assholes head. Then he jumped.." He shook his head I covered my mouth. "God I thought I lost him."

"How'd he live?"

"He landed on one of them." He told me softly. "Lucky bastard."

"No shit." I told him with a shake of my head. "He really loves you."

He nodded. "He's my brother."

I smiled running my hand through his hair. I had to tell him about the phone call. They had gotten hurt because I hadn't said anything but then again they weren't suppose to follow me to New York either. "Murphy, why are the Italians after you now?"

"We're not well liked in case you hadn't noticed."

I shook my head. "That's not it. I got a phone call from the Russians but it wasn't just a Russian talking to me. There was an Italian on the phone too."

"What the fuck?" He began trying to sit up. "When did this fuckin' happen?"

"When my brothers called."

"Why the fuck wouldn't you say anything?" He asked as I pushed him down. "Dammit Natasha."

"Shut the hell up Murph!" I snarled at him. "You didn't tell me jack shit when the Russians came in an almost fuckin' killed me so don't even go there dammit!"

He sat up now, he was pissed off at me. "We did th-"

"Don't tell me for my own fuckin' good." I told him with a growl. I got off the bed before he could say anything else. "Just piss off."

I threw on a jacket and walked out the door. I didn't care about the blood on my hair or anywhere else. I just needed to leave. God was this fucking insane. I walked outside the rain beating my face. I could only think about the Russians and the Italians. Why the fuck would they call together? They wouldn't do that though. The Italians hated the idea of the Russians coming to America to start their own mob. Maybe it was a set up.

God this was fucking confusing. I walked down the street back towards the strip joint to see if everyone was alright. Then I saw them. Two Italians standing beside Billy. I stopped moving when Billy signaled with his hand. It didn't matter. They saw me. I didn't even run, I walked right up to them. I knew what needed to be done. I just walked up knowing that if I fucked up I was seriously screwed.

"Tasha.."

"Shut the fuck up Bill." I hissed at him. I knew what I needed to do. And I didn't care what the fuck I had to do to get it. I looked up at the Italians they seemed shocked that I was there. "Perchè la scopata siete qui? Non ho fatto nulla a voi."

"Comunque." One of them told me with a growl. "Siete con loro."

"Non sono stati supposti per essere qui." I told him my arms crossed over my chest. "Neppure non ho saputo che sono venuto!"

"Pensi che realmente diamo una maledizione?" The other one began Billy just stood there dumbfounded. "Siamo venuto qui per voi. La testa calda li gradisce. Pensate che non

li abbiamo visti. Vaffunculo intorno con quel brat maledetto?"

"Mi ricordo della chiamata." I told him. "Inoltre mi ricordo dei Russi essere là pure."

"Avete alcune sfere." He told me stepping forward.

The other Italian got in his way. "Sono giusto mezzi ad un'estremità."

"Che cosa se aiutassi l'estremità esso?" They looked at me confused. "Spiegherò tutto quando ottengo di nuovo a Boston e soltanto allavostra sporgenza. Fino ad allora rimanga la scopata dal mio senso e da loro. Se non." I brought a knife out and slashed him up his chest. Blood spewed out. He screamed. "Get the point."

The second almost launched himself at me. If the first hadn't stopped him I'd be very smashed. "Benissimo." He handed me a card with a number. "Seli metta in contatto con quando ottenete la scopata indietro in

città."

I nodded watching them walk off. I looked over to Billy. "You alright?"

He nodded. "They agreed to pay for all the damages." He stared at me. "What the hell's going on Tash?"

I looked over at him. "Just walking into the wolf's den. Don't say anything." I told him putting the knife away. "I don't want them to know I was talking to them." I glared at him now. "Am I clear?"

"Crystal." He told me raising his hands in defense. "I just hope you know what you're fucking doin'."

"Probably not." I told him softly. "I'll be heading back tomorrow or the next day. If I don't see you." I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "They shouldn't be back."

"Good. I hope you do all right."

"Me too."

* * *

**A:N:** Thanks again to everyone who reviewed: cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch, and I Fancy Hugh Dancy. I love all your reviews and thanks so much for reading. I'll update soon. Don't worry. New poll coming soon! 

**Translations:**

**Italian -** sorry if its wrong in case you hadn't noticed I'm using a web translator and praying they're right -

Why the fuck are you here? I didn't do anything to you- Perchè la scopata siete qui? Non ho fatto nulla a voi

You did though – comunque

You're with them - Siete con loro

They weren't supposed to be here - Non sono stati supposti per essere qui

I didn't even know that they came - Neppure non ho saputo che sono venuto

Do think we really give a damn - Pensi che realmente diamo una maledizione

We came here for you. The hot head likes you. You think we haven't seen you. Fucking around with that damn brat - Siamo venuto qui per voi. La testa calda li gradisce. Pensate che non

li abbiamo visti. Vaffunculo intorno con quel brat maledetto

I remember the call - Mi ricordo della chiamata

I also remember the Russians being there as well - Inoltre mi ricordo dei Russi essere là pure

You have some balls - Avete alcune sfere

They're just a means to an end - Sono giusto mezzi ad un'estremità

What if I helped end it - Che cosa se aiutassi l'estremità esso

I'll explain everything when I get back to Boston and only to your boss. Until then stay the fuck out of my way and theirs. If you don't - Spiegherò tutto quando ottengo di nuovo a Boston e soltanto alla

vostra sporgenza. Fino ad allora rimanga la scopata dal mio senso e da loro. Se non

Fine - Benissimo

Contact us when you get the fuck back in town - Seli metta in contatto con quando ottenete la scopata indietro in città


	14. Chapter Fourteen: No Kisses, No Lies

**A:N: **Kind of lovey-dovey chapter. Nothing really else to report. cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch. I appreciate each review and hope that you continue to review.

cleopatra32003: I'll agree it's confusing but that's the way I am. Very confused -

Jade Opal: As for what happens to Tasha, just wait and see.

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen **

**No Kisses, No Lies**

_Forever may not be long enough for my love_

_I have a will but I'm lost inside your time _

_If you could, would you come with me to the other side? _

_Forever may not be long enough_

_Forever may not be long enough _

_Forever may not be long enough for this love_

_And I'm not given up  
My faith in love is like blood,_

_I'd spill it freely for some _

_My faith in love is like blood, _

_It flows in everyone _

_Don't stop to look at the clock,  
Forever won't be long enough_

Murphy was up on his feet the next afternoon. I was happen for that. I wanted to show him some places I went to during college. Conner was having fun with Davy. She was finding him fascinating in general. I was guessing she was trying to get laid before the week was up. She'd conned me into staying the rest of the week. Insisting that it wasn't a good idea to move Murphy while he was in such a bad state.

I had to agree with her on that. Murphy wasn't in the best state to be moved around so much. Murphy and Conner were more than happy to stay in New York a couple more days. I made my way over to the store. Davy had nothing in kitchen.

Murphy had walked with me. He didn't want to be around while Conner and Davy got all mushy. If they were or not I didn't care, Davy had a nasty history of using guys so I did my best to stay out of her love life. No matter how short it may be.

I went towards the fresh produce. I felt like some apples for some strange reason. I smiled putting a bag in the cart. No I wasn't having cravings. I just liked apples from time to time. It was my guilty pleasure. Ha.

I pushed the cart looking for whatever Davy had put on the list. I'd lose track of Murphy, he was probably looking at some gun magazines. I didn't seem to mind, my mind was focused on trying to find everything on this damn list. God, the shit she ate. It was a miracle she still had such a nice body.

I was reading the back of whatever this latest shit was to see what it was actually made out of. Hands suddenly grabbed my sides. I jumped.

"Jesus Christ you're jumpy." I smiled at him as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Well," I began turning around to look at him. "I have the right because-wait-let me think-I get shot almost once a day, assaulted at least twice.." He shut my mouth cover my lips with his. "Then I get kissed by you at least three times a day."

"How the hell is that a reason for you to be jumpy?"

"Never know who's aiming at your swollen head." I told him with a bright smirk.

"That's just fuckin' mean." He sneered off at me.

I looked at him with a bright smile. "I can get so much worse though."

"Bullshit."

I stood on my tip-toes and began to whisper several dirty things into his ear. After a few seconds I stopped and leaned back against the cart to look at his face. I glanced down to notice his pants fitting a little tighter. I snickered looking back up at him.

"I hate you." He mumbled.

"Let's finish shopping." I told him as he jumped in the cart. "Murph.."

"I'm hurting." He moaned out tightly his head back. "I got shot yesterday remember?"

"Which is why you should head back to Davy's place." I told him pushing him in the cart. "So I don't have to worry about you getting hurt."

"I thought you told me not to worry about you." He told me with a smirk. "Why should you worry about me?"

"Because I pulled the bullet out of your chest yesterday." I reminded him leaning down. "Remember?"

-----

We got back from shopping to find Davy and Conner gone. I found a note saying to meet them later at the _Veil_, one of the hottest nightclubs in town. If Murphy was doing well then I'd let him go. The key word in that sentence being IF. He helped me put the groceries away. I went to make some coffee and he moved so he had his arms around me.

I smirked turning around to look at him. "And what do you think you're doing?"

He shrugged pressing his body against mine. "I don't know." He suddenly winced. "Fuck."

"See what happens when you get too horny." I told him with a smile. His hand suddenly went to hold my chin tightly in his grip. My snickering stopped. His grip was so harsh. I looked up at him with my eyes, well, until he tilted my head up so I didn't have to. He pulled my face to his. His mouth opened wide against mine.

I jumped up onto the counter so he didn't have to tilt his head down so far. My mouth dancing with his, our tongues having their own little war. He pulled me down close to him. There was no room in between us. I was worried about his injury. Just as I was worrying he let out a moan of pain. I backed off looking at his side. It was beginning to bleed again. I shook my head.

"Go lie down on the couch." I told him pushing him back. "I need to change the bandages. Hopefully, Davy changed Conner's."

"I'm pretty sure that's not all she changed." Murphy joked with me. I shook my head as he headed to the couch. I went into the bathroom and noticed what he meant. A ripped open condom wrapper. That perverted little slut. He got over things quickly. I didn't want to know what fuck happened here.

I looked over at the cabinet and pulled out some fresh bandages as well as bactine to clean the wound to prevent any infections. I walked back over to the couch and sat down. He had his shirt off and lay on his side. I smirked at his tattoos and ran my hands over his bare chest. He smiled as I moved down to the bullet wound.

I pulled the old bandage off. He was bleeding a bit. Not enough to be worried about though. I took the bottle of bactine and poured it on to his wound. He winced, grinding his teeth because of the pain. I shook my head. Pussy. I placed the fresh bandage over the wound and taped it so it couldn't shift.

I began to stand but he pulled me back onto his lap. I smiled as I straddled him. His hands moved around my back. Running them up my back until one cradled the back of my head. Pulling me close to him, I rested my forehead against his. He was breathing hard, whether from me cleaning the wound or just me sitting on him like this. My smile faded as his head tilted up to press his lips against mine. I moaned softly as he pulled me closer than I could imagine.

Over and over again we kissed. My hands running over his back so my nails dug into his skin, that made him groan with desire. A sudden jerk and he pulled my head back so I was looking to the ceiling. His lips pressed passionately against my throat and collarbone. I moved my hands to grab tightly to his hair to pull his head back as well. He released mine and I looked down upon me. His eyes were nothing short of lust. I couldn't help but smirk at what I had done to him.

Before I could kiss him, he stretched his neck up to kiss me harder than ever. I arched against him with a moan. He maneuvered so he could push me down on the couch. He lay down on top of me, careful not to injure himself anymore than was necessary. I tilted my head back, gasping at the feeling of his body against mine.

I looked up at him. His lips brushing over mine, I only had to tilt my head up. Our lips connected and he pushed down hard on me. My head sank into the couch. God he had a lot of strength for a guy who had just been shot. I smiled into the kisses.

The sound of the door bursting open didn't even break us from kissing. I felt someone grab hold of the back of the couch. I glanced up and Conner looked down at me with a broad smile. I broke the kiss with Murphy. Conner was still smiling while Murphy shook his head in annoyance at what was happening right now.

I smirked remembering what I found in the bathroom. "Have a nice fuck?"

He nodded still grinning. "You?"

Murphy turned to look up at him. His eyes showed he was pretty damn pissed off at the moment. "Was."

Davy peeked over the couch now, a smile on her face. Oh yeah, she'd had sex. She had a weird smile that lasted hours after having sex. "Hey there you two." She handed me down a condom. "I left one for you two."

Murphy took the condom and looked at it. "Only one?"

"There's more in the bathroom." She told him with a broad smile. "If can even get through that one."

"Aren't you aiming a little high, Murph?" Conner asked as Murphy sat up. He was getting more annoyed with the situation. "One condom? You probably won't have anyth—"

Before he could say anything else Murphy delivered a harsh punch to his cheek. "Fuckin' ass."

Conner could only laugh at him jumping out of the way of another punch. "You two warps need to get a room."

"And you need to get the fuck out." Murphy growled at him getting ready to get off the couch.

"Relax we're goin' Murph." Davy told him with a growl of her own. "I just needed to pick some shit up."

"Why'd you do that?" I questioned sitting up looking over the couch. "Wouldn't that smell?"

"We're going now." Davy grumbled walking out.

"You got your cell?"

"Of course!" Davy told me as they left.

I looked back to Murphy who shook his head and laughed. I moved my hand to his cheek. Pulling him down to kiss me he suddenly grabbed my hand. "What is it?"

"You'd never lie to me?" He questioned softly.

I froze. "No.." I finally muttered out. "Why would you ask something like that?"

He shrugged his lips collapsing over mine. "Just something bitchin' in the back of me mind."

I shook my head pulling him back down on top of me. "Why would I lie to you?"

Again he shrugged as I flipped so I was on top and him on bottom. I stood up above him with a smirk. He stared up in amazement and confusion as to what I was doing. "What the hell are ya doin'?"

"Advantages of being with a former stripper." I told him shaking my ass as I slowly pulled my shirt off.

* * *

**A:N:** I'll just leave it there. Thanks again to everyone for their great reviews: cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch.

New poll will be coming soon. You get to toy with someone's life in this next one if you weren't already.

Hope you enjoyed and please review I love reviews.


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Three Words

**A:N:** Thanks to everyone for their great reviews. Jade Opal, smite-the-mighty, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, cleopatra32003, icydragon14, babthilts, Threnody Shepherd, azzi, and I Fancy Hugh Dancy. Now onto the chapter. Please review I love reviews.

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen **

**Three Words**

_Tonight will change our lives  
It's so good to be by your side  
We'll cry  
We won't give up the fight  
We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs  
And they'll think it's just 'cause we're young  
And we'll feel so alive_

_Throw it away  
Forget yesterday  
We'll make the great escape  
Won't hear a word they say  
They don't know us anyway  
Watch it burn  
Let it die  
'Cause we are finally free tonight_

Unfortunately I didn't get to do much as I wanted. And all because of one annoying little thing, Davy's sister showed up, Monny, out of the blue as I was halfway through getting my clothes off.

That's always the funny thing, you're in the middle of doing something with your guy and the one person you thought of as a little sister comes in unannounced while your halfway through taking your clothes off.

I hate it when that happens. And it's always Monny that sees me half naked like that. Always Monny. Then there was the time it as Monny and the twins.

Goddamn my sex life was shit-faced the minute I showed up in Boston.

We left Monny at the apartment. She'd already fucked my day up enough. I didn't need her to butcher dinner for me as well.

Murphy and I went to an old diner I use to go to for dinner. It was actually pretty fun. We talked about nearly everything. When he and Conner came over from Ireland and how I ended up here. I learned a lot about him. How he had gotten a lot of the scars on his body was a main topic. Some of the conversations ended up turning into dirty jokes and me teasing him about how we always were interrupted by something or someone.

That was amusing on my part. Murphy wanted to shoot me for it.

Monny, Davy and Conner showed up during dinner. They'd conned me into letting Murphy go to the _Veil_ with us tonight. He seemed perfectly fine. I'd just have to make sure that his side wouldn't come unstitched.

We headed back to the apartment. Monny was begging to come the entire way home. She was only nineteen. The _Veil_ was pretty strict on underage so we'd voted no. Chances of her sneaking in though were very high. We always found a way around the bouncers.

"Shut the hell up Monny!" Davy screamed at her as we walked into the back into the apartment. "You're not fuckin' coming."

"Too much Irish in ya honey." I told her with a smirk walking past her into the living room. "You're Native American remember."

"Only part," She muttered while the twins followed me to sit in the room. She shook her head. "Stay the hell out of this Tash!"

I looked over at Monny. "Ah come on Davy," I told her. "Just talk to Marco, he'll let her in."

"No!" She shouted at me.

"Fine." I mumbled looking to the guys. "When they finish get me. I need to get changed."

I walked into my old room. I had brought some clothes for clubbing. Not the halter-top that Conner had brought home. It was a black halter-top that I got fro Nirvana in college. That and a pair of black pants that I got a few weeks before I moved to Boston.

I was taking off my top when the door opened. "Monny," I began not able to see whoever it was. "I'm not sticking up for you so piss off and get out."

It was when I finished speaking that I realized it wasn't Monny I was talking to.

Murphy had pulled my shirt off over my head and moved his hands to grab me by the back of the head. His mouth covered mine, his tongue sliding into my mouth to wrap tangle with mine. I squeaked a little into the kiss. He'd caught me off guard and I lost my balance a bit. His hold on me was so strong that I didn't move at all.

He pushed against me so we landed on the bed. Our lips never parting, he landed on top of me, he didn't care if he squished me. To be honest, I didn't care either. His hand ran up my side while the other one held my head in place. It took all my strength to tilt my head back so he ran his lips down my throat. My hand went to his hair so I could pull him to look up at me. His eyes were passionate and I hated to stop him but we were going to leave in an hour and Davy walked in.

Again.

"Jesus Christ don't you fuckin' stop?" She questioned leaning against the frame.

"Don't ya ever knock?" Murphy growled at her kissing my stomach.

"What's up hun?"

"Time to get ready." Monny happily jumped in. Her eyes gapped wide. One thing about Monny that people didn't really know was she was still a virgin and she hadn't seen much. She actually was clueless as to what Davy and I had done for extra cash up to my senior year. So seeing Murphy and I like this had to be a shocker. "Holy shat!"

"Cover the virgin's eyes Davy!" I snickered pulling my bra off.

"Dammit Tasha!" Monny squealed walking out as I flung my bra at her.

Davy and I began to die of laughter. Murphy just shook his head against my stomach. I heard Conner get up asking questions and he stepped into the doorway. Murphy moved his hands to cover my breasts. I snickered shaking my head.

"Serious guys," I began sitting up but turning so Conner couldn't see me. "We need to get changed. Because we're women and we take for fuckin' ever." Murphy growled rolling onto his back on the bed. I glanced over to Davy jumping on top of him. "Ten please."

Murphy sat up so I was sitting on his lap and began to kiss me.

"Now." Davy told me and I pouted at Murphy then shrugged.

I got off him walking over to the counter, my arms across my chest so Conner didn't see. "Come on guys out."

Murphy got up and walked over to me. He was obviously getting annoyed with the constant interruptions. He smirked as he walked out of the room dragging Conner with him. I looked over to Davy who shut the door.

"You really don't like him do you?" I questioned moving back to put on a bra. Halter-top, plus me equals bra required.

She shook her head taking off her shirt to grab a tank out of my suitcase. "Nope."

"And why not?" I questioned taking off my pants to switch into the black ones. "You seem to like Conner. Either that or you're a slut and you're using him for sex?"

"He came onto me." She told me with a growl swinging the tank on her body. "Sex was just..sex." I raised an eyebrow at her. "Sex doesn't always have to be about whether or not you like them or not."

"You're such a slut." I told her with a chuckle pulling my bra and halter-top on. "Tell me you at least like him a little bit?"

She shrugged taking her pants off and slipping into a short skirt. "A little bit. He is cute. God is he built nicely."

"My best friend ladies and gentlemen." I smirked off walking over to the desk where I had placed all the make-up. I held up two different cases of eye shadow. "Purple or brown?"

"Who's gonna be able to tell in the club?" I gave her a serious face. "Purple brings out your eyes but if you do a smokey brown it'll be sexier."

I smiled. "Brown it is."

"Tasha?" Davy began walking over grabbing a different eye shadow. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." I told her with a smirk. I began to place the eyeliner on.

"Do you love him?"

I looked over to her, half an eyelid done. "What?"

"Do you love him?" She questioned me. "You usually don't go full out into making-out or dry humping unless you think you'll be with him for a while."

"Unlike you," I began finishing up my eyeliner. "I keep my legs shut until I'm sure they actually like me."

"Are you saying Conner doesn't like me?"

"How long did you know him before you stripped?" I questioned her with a chuckle. "I'm sure he likes you. Who couldn't?"

She smiled putting on her make-up. "You never answered my question."

I thought for a moment. "I'm not sure." I told her honestly. "I mean, I haven't been involved with someone like this since.."

She knew I didn't want to say the name. "Will."

I nodded. "Yeah and Murphy is so close to.." I brushed away a quick tear. "I don't want to lose him too."

"Isn't he the one who was shot?"

"Shut up." I told her with a growl. "Let's just get ready and get the fuck out of here and have some fun."

* * *

**A:N:** Alright I promised a new poll and that I will give. I just want to thank everyone for their great reviews. Jade Opal, smite-the-mighty, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, cleopatra32003, icydragon14, babthilts, Threnody Shepherd, azzi, and I Fancy Hugh Dancy.

Now for the new poll.

Which will be posted next chapter. Sorry.


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Blow My Whistle Baby

**A:N: **Thanks to everyone for their awesome reviews! I love reviews and you know it so keep them coming! Thanks to: IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy.

That wasn't the question at all. - just gonna have to wait and read the rest of the chapter.

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Blow My Whistle Baby**

_Party like a rock  
Party like a rockstar  
Party like a rock  
Party like a rockstar  
Party like a rock  
Party like a rockstar  
Party like a rockstar_

_T-t-t-totally dude!!!!_

_I'm on a money makin mission  
But I party like a rockstar  
Flyin' down twenty lookin' good in my hot car  
You know them hoes be at my show  
Worried bout where my chain go  
I uh rubba in ma pants  
But these hoes won't let my thang go_

_I uwa like I uwa  
Cause you know them hoes be trying us  
Hoe don't you know I fuck wit fine diamonds  
That look like Pa-me-la  
They fine and they hot bra  
When I'm in the spot bra...  
I party like a rockstar!_

I walked into the _Veil_ first. Murphy and Conner needed to talk over something and Davy was trying to convince Monny how to flirt her way into the club. I didn't mind them leaving me alone. I needed to get a hold of the Italians; I was betting they were getting pretty pissed off that I had called them yet.

I walked through the crowded bar all the way back into the restrooms. At least it was quieter in there. Not by much since I think two people were fucking in one of the stalls. With a shake of my head I went to the stall on the end. I pulled my phone out along with the card to dial the number.

It rang.

"Sì?"

"Sarò indietro in tre giorni." I told whoever it was. I was guessing that they knew who it was. "Andrò al deli sul terzo a tre."

"Decidiamo dove."

"La scopata fuori o io non si preoccuperà di aiutare!" I grumbled at him. "Tre giorni sarò indietro a Boston. Non selo metta in contatto con fino ad allora.."

With that I hung up on them and walked back out onto the dance floor. I could see everyone out on the dance floor. Monny had gone off to dance with a group of her friends that had snuck in as well. Conner was amazingly dancing, not good but still he was dancing. I hadn't really pictured him as the dancing type. Davy was a duh, but then again where was Murphy?

Bar.

I looked over at the counter and say him. He was already drinking a beer and watching his brother and Davy dance. He could only shake his head at the sight. I snickered skipping over to him. I stepped in front of him as he sipped on his beer. He smiled at me as the music blared from the speakers. People were walking past and some guys were watching me as I leaned against him. He gave me some of his beer. I chuckled as he poured it down my throat.

Some of the beer dribbled over my lips and onto my neck. Murphy proceeded to lick it off only to make me laugh.

"Where'd ya go?" He questioned setting the beer down.

"Ladies room." I told him looking back out at Davy and Conner. "Come on." I grabbed his hand to pull him out on the dance floor only to be pulled to a sudden halt. "What?"

"I don't dance." He told me with a growl.

"Fine." I told him releasing him to walk out to Davy. I began to dance with her and Conner. My hips moving to the beat as the song finished. I looked over and saw someone I hadn't seen for a while. I tapped Davy on the shoulder nodding over to the guy. It was Gary Hedlani. She smirked. We both knew Gary from the strip joint and he was one of the managers of the club. We also went to college with him and he was one in a string of guys on that Davy had on her leash.

I smirked at her pointing to the stage where the DJ was spinning the records. She smirked kissing Conner's check and she walked with me over to Gary.

He smiled at us; he put his arms around our waists kissing Davy and me on the cheek. "Ladies, it's been too fucking long! How've you been?"

"Great." We both said at the same time.

She smiled an evil smile leaning in and whispering: "Blow my whistle baby."

He smirked. "Go straight ahead." He bowed towards the stage. "I'll tell Nikky to put on your song."

We both smiled. It was an old college thing the club let us do. A group of girls from the joint would make a dance and we'd dance for everyone on the stage. We jumped on the stage as the song came to a halt. Everyone began to moan in annoyance. We looked out to see a few of the other girls from the joint and we waved them up. Five jumped up behind us.

"Hey White!" Jasmine shouted. "Whistle time?"

"Kick it good ladies." Davy shouted looking out to Conner who looked perplexed along with Murphy.

Monny suddenly jumped up. We all looked at her in shock. "I know the moves. Remember I helped you design the number."

"How come I feel like a fuckin' cheerleader?" I asked Davy.

"Because you always hated this thing." Manny told me with a grin. "Come on you know you want to!"

Everyone was shouting for music and I looked back at Nikky who smirked.

He grabbed his mic. "_Blow my whistle baby_!"

All the guys that knew what was going on shouted.

The seven of us on the stage stomped their right foot clapping our hands.

"_Blow my whistle baby_!"

We switched the move over to the left side with the same moves. Moving so we were sideways on the crowd we stomped again going down to the floor and come back up.

"_Open up and put it in_."

We brought our hands over our mouths.

"_Let's begin_."

I watched Murphy who was in complete amazement at what was happening. I was in amazement at the fact I was still allowed to do this. My mind was on other things though. I couldn't help but think about what was happening between the Italians and the Russians. They shouldn't be working together. Not unless the Italians had a major plan in royally screwing the Russians. How did it involve the twins though? I wasn't even sure if they had done anything to really wrong either of the two. Then again they did kill several of their guys and a big boss.

Never mind, problem found.

I looked over at Davy. She was smiling and having the time of her life. She was enjoying being a slutty tease. I was just enjoying being a bitch. Murphy was watching me as I danced. I spun around slowly, rotating my hips to the beat. My hands moved up my sides and entangled into my hair. The same as the other girls but I knew that he was watching me. Every girl knew this feeling. Even if you weren't looking at the guy you could sense them watching you.

I turned around so I could see Murphy. I blew him a kiss as the song came to a slow end. We all dropped to our knees and looked up at him. He was just staring. I think he was a little annoyed with me. Then again I didn't care about what he cared. Okay I did care by not a lot.

Everyone was hooting at us. A bunch of the people knew who we were and now they all knew us. All the girls took a bow; I just jumped off the stage Davy in hot pursuit. Guys flocked over to us, we tried our best to push through and made it back to the twins.

Murphy still looked pretty pissed off but at the same time a whole lot of something else. He was blowing smoke from his cigarette.

I raised an eyebrow at him with a smirk. "What's wrong?"

He smiled. "You can dance."

"Exotic dancer." I reminded him with a smirk. I grabbed his beer from the counter.

"You're a cruel beast." He mumbled at me with a growl. His hand slipped around my waist kissing my neck gently. "Who the fuck was that guy?"

"Who Gary?" I questioned and he nodded. "Gary is from college. One of Davy's whores." He nodded. "I wasn't involved with him."

"How come you did that?" He questioned nodding back up to the stage.

"We do it at least once every week." I told him with a shrug. "Or at least did. What you wanna dance now?" He raised an eyebrow at me as he blew smoke out. "Come on, show me how the Irish shake that thang."

"Thang?" He questioned his accent shining through. He ditched the cigarette as I moved out into the mass of people.

I turned briefly to make sure he was following me. I smiled seeing that he was. His smile was as great as mine, his arms slithering around my waist and we began to move to the music. Laughing and moving to the rhythm and I rested my head against is shoulder. I could only think of what would happen when we got back. I wasn't even thinking of what was going to happen.

I wanted to help and I couldn't figure out what the fuck I was going to do. I would have to talk to them. If I didn't do this then the twins would be in more danger than ever. God damn. I never thought before I did anything.

I looked up at Murph, stopping my dance. He stopped dancing too, his eyes staring at me with worry. "What?"

I shrugged moving my arms around his neck as I began to dance again. "Nothing."

* * *

**A:N: **Before poll I want to say thanks to everyone for their reviews: IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy. Sorry if I missed anyone! I really appreciate the reviews!

The song Blow My Whistle is my favorite DDR to do! I had to put it in. Action is back next chapter and as for the poll!

As we all know, Tasha is getting involved with the Italians and the Russians, my question for you is; which of the MacManus finds out? Da, Murphy or Conner?

It's up to you but as Irish men you know their tempers will be short.

**Translations: **

Yes – Sì

I'll be back in three days - Sarò indietro in tre giorni

I'll go to the deli on third at three - Andrò al deli sul terzo a tre

We decide where - Decidiamo dove

Fuck off or I won't bother helping - La scopata fuori o io non si preoccuperà di aiutare

Three days I'll be back in Boston. Don't contact me until then. - Tre giorni sarò indietro a Boston. Non selo metta in contatto con fino ad allora.


	17. Chapter Seventeen: I Love You

**A:N:** I lied but I needed to put this chapter in because I needed to explain something: Thanks IrishBoysareHott.

Thanks to: IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy.

New poll count so far we have Conner coming out on top with three votes and one for Da. Poll will remain open for the next three chapters.

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen **

**I Love You**

_I'm standing on the bridge  
I'm waiting in the dark,  
I thought that you'd be here, by now.  
There's nothing but the rain,  
No footsteps on the ground,  
I'm listening, but there's no sound._

Isn't anyone trying to find me?  
Won't somebody come take me home?

It's a damn cold night,  
Trying to figure out this life,  
Won't you take me by the hand,  
Take me somewhere new,  
I don't know who you are but I,  
I'm with you.  
I'm with you.

I'm looking for a place,  
I'm searching for a face,  
Is anybody here I know?  
Cause' nothing's going right,  
And everything's a mess,  
And no one likes to be alone.

Isn't anyone trying to find me?  
Won't somebody come take me home? 

Murphy and I began to dance, our bodies shaking with the music. He finally had begun to loosen up. He joked around and began to smile. I was so happy he'd begun to relax and was acting normal. And by normal I do mean pissing others off with his jokes and the way he was acting. He seemed to get along better with my friends. I couldn't help but wonder if he didn't like them or what but it was beginning to bug me. At least he was conversing with them.

My big question was why he was being so pissy over the whole dance number and strip joint. It was a job and it was fun. Most guys would have fun with the fact their girl use to be a stripper. I couldn't help but wonder if he had ever had a boyfriend because to be frank he didn't act like it. Maybe having a girl made him a little crazy. I know guys who did that, when they were with a girl they'd get really over protective.

Davy had that trouble with guys like that. But she never said anything.

I couldn't help but notice that he had been rather an asshole for the last few days. I thought he was being a little protective but now it was getting old. I couldn't have any guy doing this to me. Particular one I thought I was falling for.

He went off to the restroom and I moved over to dance with Conner and Davy. They seemed to be having a lot of fun. Even if it was a fling I was happy for both of them.

Suddenly Davy moved off to grab her sister from doing something stupid. It left Conner and I \ dancing around. I smirked. They had never been in a dance club that was for sure. I decided I'd ask Conner about Murphy.

"Conner," I questioned wrapping my arm around his neck. "What's up with Murph?"

"What'd you mean?" He questioned his hands holding onto my waist.

"He's acting pretty pissed off at me." I told him with a sigh.

"I noticed." He told me pulling me closer. "He's just really protective. He doesn't wanna see ya get fuckin' hurt again."

"It's a risk." I told him with a sigh. "We knew this at the beginning I just don't want him to turn into a fucking prick because he thinks that I need protection. But what about what he was doing tonight and last night?"

He smirked. "Talk to him." He spun me around and into Murphy's arms. "You're in trouble."

"What the fuck did I do?"

I grabbed his hand pulling him into the back behind the bar. I knew their was a room back there Gary use to take Davy. Hopefully it wasn't in use.

What's gonna on?"

"Can I ask you something?"

He nodded. "Of course."

"Why've you been acting so weird lately?"

"What?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Don't fuckin' do that." I told him releasing him. I turned away from him running my hands through my hair. "You know exactly what I fucking mean. You've been acting like a dick to my friends, and no offense but what the hell is the matter with you? You act all pissed off because I use to be a stripper and I come here and you two show up and you act pissed off because I'm doing things I normally do. I'm sorry if you're pissed off because of the stripping but I don't give a shit!"

"Natasha." He began with a shake of his head.

"Shut the hell up I'm not done!" I screamed at him. "What the hell is wrong with you? You've completely changed, only now have you started to lighten up!"

"Will you let me fuckin' explain meself?" He shouted at me walking up and grabbing my shoulders. "Jesus Christ Tash."

"Then do!" I shouted at him again. "Fucking tell me Murphy!"

"I don't fuckin' know!" He finally told me. "All right!" He turned away running his hands through his hair. "I just saw the way those fuckin' pervs were lookin' at ya! Then to have the Italians come in. For Christ sakes you go up there tonight? You expect me not to be scared for ya? What would of happened if they'd of shown up? Huh? What about that?"

"I told you not to worry." I told him. "You don't have to worry. It's my choice to this or not. You fucking idiot.." I mumbled at him with a sigh. "Do you not want-"

He wrapped his arms around me. "Don't you fuckin' say it." He turned me around so I could look at him. "I love you despite the fact you drive me bloody nuts."

I stared up at him. "What'd you just say?"

"You drive me bloody nuts?" He smirked off knowing preciously what I had meant. I began to protest and he smiled. "I love you. I can't help if I worry about you now."

"Does it have to come off so fucking pissy though?" I asked him.

"It shouldn't." He told me with a sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Stop it completely or I'm gonna kill you." I told him with a smile beginning to walk away from him. I was almost out the door leaving him stand there. "Hey," I began leaning against the door. "Do you mean it?"

"Mean what?" He smirked again.

"Never mind." I laughed at him.

He walked up to me with a nod. "You know I did."

"I love you too." I told him. "Even when you're on your period."

I laughed skipping off towards the dance floor. I walked back over to where Conner and Davy were. Davy wrapped her arms around my waist and I began to move with her. Conner stood back with Murphy as he came back out and stared at us laughing at us. They were whispering as we began to move around. Our hands on each others asses. This was an old trick we learned back home at our clubs. Make the guys jealous, dance with your best friend.

I smiled at Murphy who was shaking his head smile. "I thought you were straight?"

"You learn something knew everyday!" Davy smirked off moving away from me so I could do my own thing.

I ran my hands down my body. Starting from my breasts down to my hips where I began to sway to the beat. My body worked its way backwards so I was nearly doing the bridge move from a gymnastics routine. Only when I did it in gymnastics I didn't fall backwards. I landed flat on my ass.

Murphy laughed as did everyone else.

"Your girlfriend's lookin' up Davy's skirt."

Murphy jumped around with a smirk. "She wearin' any underwear Tasha?"

I shook my head as Davy helped me up. "Nope." I raised my hands in the air. "BEER RUN!"

Davy, Conner and Murphy all raised their hands. "BEER RUN!"

We all jogged back over to the bar. "Steve-O!" We all shouted at the bartender. Steve looked over at us. I smirked. "We need boos."

"What'll it be?" He questioned.

"Shots!" Davy screeched at him. "Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots.."

"Shove it Davy." Murphy began his arm over my shoulder. "You're easy enough without the fuckin' alcohol."

We all began to laugh, even Davy. "Well that's just fucking mean and so-"

"True." Monny and me said at the same time.

"Dammit."

Steve set the drinks in front of us and I smiled at him. "Thank you."

We all grabbed the drinks. And I gave a cheers and we drank. I swallowed fast then made a face. God I hated this shit, why the hell did I drink goddammit? We all coughed a bit. Well the girls anyway, Conner and Murphy were Irish. They could hold their drink better than we ever could. We hollered and began to move back to the dance floor.

Murphy and Conner mover back with us too. Monny, Davy and I were moving to the beat already. Murphy stepped beside us.

I back up against him, my back to him, my hands up his arms. Leaving trails of my cold warmth on his flesh. They traveled slowly to make it even more intoxicating for him. His gaze was happy, his hands moving around me pulling me against him.

I tilted my head back to rest on his shoulder. His cheek pressed against mine as he pulled me backwards to a dip then brought me back up so quickly I thought I was about to pass out. He tilted his head closer returning the nibble on my ear. I smirked bringing my arms around his neck. I moved my hips against his as I pressed my lips against his neck. A delightful moan escaped his lips as he moved with me. He looked down at me with his mouth partially open.

I smirked. "Somebody is drunk."

"Love it takes a lot more than that little shit to get me drunk." He told me kissing me softly on the neck. We were looking at Davy and Conner. They looked like they were about ready to fucking each other on the dance floor. "Do you realize they've know each other shorter than we have and they've fucked more times than we have?"

I smirked. "Good things come to those who wait."

* * *

**A:N: **Sorry that it took so long to update! We're out of the past and into the present and this is the last chapter for polling obviously! 

Okay so last chance everyone!

Who's going to find out she's bee hanging out with the Russians and the Italians? Murphy, Conner or Da?

So far it's Conner in the lead so just remember it's up you! Vote now!

Thanks again to everyone who reviewed! IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy. I really appreciate it a lot and I'm happy you all like my story.


	18. Chapter Eighteen: Lies

**A:N: **Thanks to: IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy.

Okay people Conner is in the lead is with the polling and I must say I'm beginning to agree with them! But it's all up to you so keep voting.

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen**

**Lies**

_Are you lost, In your lies?  
Do you tell yourself, I don't realize?  
Your crusade's a disguise  
Replace freedom with fear,  
You trade money for lives._

I'm aware of what you've done.

No, no more sorrow.  
I've paid for your mistakes.  
Your time is borrowed.  
Your time has come to be replaced.

I see pain, I see need.  
I see liars and thieves,  
Abuse power with greed.  
I had hope, I believed.  
But I'm beginning to think that I've been deceived.

You will pay for what you've done.

We got back to Boston, Davy wanted to come along but her next break from school wasn't for three weeks. I told her to come down but I wasn't sure of my schedule. The hospital had called telling me to come in five days. It didn't give me much time to deal with the Italians and the Russians. Improvising will probably going to be a big deal when I went to see them.

We were at my apartment; Conner and Da were out looking for a larger target than normal. How they were never arrested I'd love to know. They left Murphy and me alone, we were watching the news, seeing if anyone stood out for them to take down. Well we really weren't paying much attention to the television. We were perfectly happy exploring one another's body rather than looking for their latest hit.

I was straddling his waist, his hands running over my back and holding my head in place. The phone suddenly rang. My automatic thought was it was the Italians. I couldn't let it go to the machine. I kissed him softly before getting off of him.

He reached for me. "Let the fuckin' machine get it."

"It wouldn't be us without interruptions." I told him answering the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey Tash!" Hayden screamed through the phone. "How you doing? You sound out of breath."

"She was probably in the middle of fuckin' him!" James screamed into the phone. He was obviously not close by. It sounded pretty muffled. "How is he?"

"Number one: if I was fuckin' him," I began putting my hand on my hip. "I wouldn't have answered and number two: why does he want to know? I'm pretty positive that he's straight so the chances of you having a shot with him are pretty fucking small."

"None existent!" I heard Murphy scream from the living room.

I laughed at him looking back at the couch. He had jumped over and was walking over to me. He grabbed the phone from me.

"She's bloody fine," He began with a snicker. "If you don't mind," He set the phone down kissing me hard. "I'd like there to be no interruptions."

He grabbed the phone cord and pulled it out of the wall. I stared at him and then the phone, my mouth open wide and I couldn't help but laugh. "Those were my brothers1"

He moved over to the door and locked it. "And they interrupted us. As did anyone who has ever associated with you."

"Including your brother." I informed him a snicker escaping my lips and a giant smile on my face. He walked up wrapping his arms around my waist he lifted me into the air. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he shoved me up against the doorframe between the kitchen and the living room.

"Hasty aren't we?" I questioned him with heavy breaths.

He pressed his pelvis harder against mine. "I don't plan on being hasty with ya."

I smiled tilting my head back. No interruptions. Perfect.

* * *

We lay across the bed; Murphy was stretched out across it. I rest beside him, his hand on my stomach mine playing with his hair. He was partially in between awake and sleeping. I smiled, I was wide-awake, why was it the most men needed to sleep after sex? It just seemed weird to me, but it did give me time to contact the Italians. 

I kissed his forehead standing he grabbed my hand. "Where-"

"I'll be back in a little bit." I told him brushing my ands through his hair. "I need to pick up some things from the store. Just go back to sleep."

I kissed him on the forehead again and turned to grab some clothes. I made sure I had a gun and a knife on me as well. It didn't take long to get dressed and I left the apartment. I walked down to the street and out towards the deli which was only a couple of blocks away. Pulling out my cell phone I dialed the number again.

"I'm on my way." I told them a little bit of a shake in my voice. Before I could get an answer I shut the phone. I just kept on walking. I couldn't think of a reason or a plan for what the hell I was doing. What was I doing to them? I was going into a world of betrayal and hell in general. Well, I wasn't betraying them. Was I?

I stepped into the deli. My eyes shifted from person to person, seeing if I knew anyone. Two of the guys from New York were at the counter. They noticed me, then again who couldn't? A blonde haired, green-eyed woman walking into a Italian owned deli. I looked over at three men in a corner booth. The Godfather booth was the nickname that many of my friends called those booths. The ones where you sit in the corner so no one can whack you.

One of the men from New York moved over to me. "You're late."

"No I'm on time." I told him nervously. "You're early." He grabbed my arm tightly forcing me towards the guys in the corner. "Fuckin' asshole!" He flung me into the booth. I looked over at the man who I was assuming to be the boss. "Your boys are so fuckin' polite!"

"They don't have to be." He told me leaning forward inhaling on a cigarette. "And neither do I." He blow smoke in my face. "You may want to be a little more polite however." He pointed to a guy and I looked over as he pulled out a gun. "We don't have a problem killing you whatsoever you fucking little cunt."

I shuddered a little. I leaned forward pulling my gun from my back. I waved it alone and I smirked setting it on the table. "Next time," I brought my blade out and stabbed it into the table. "Have your guest frisked."

He shook his head at me. "You know the Saints." I stared at him not wanting to answer him. "We want them gone."

"Why would I help you?" I questioned him with a growl.

"Sta andando al fiocco scopante verso l'esterno la sporgenza." One of the guys growled. "Noi ora se uccisione scopare la femmina."

I looked over at him. "Chiudavi la scopata scopata dell'asino di gay!"

The boss raised an eyebrow. "Parlate italiano?"

"Sì." I told him with a growl. "Now why would I help you? I know that you're working with the Russians. Why?"

"Why do you care if we are?"

"Well I have a little grudge against them," I told him leaning against the table. "That and last thing I remember you were pretty pissed off about their crime bosses coming here and taking over your turf. So it raises the question of why in the hell you are working together."

"What do you think?"

"That you'll fuck them over as soon as you get the chance." I told them with a growl. "Just like you do with anyone over time."

"Indeed." He told me flicking his ashes into a tray. "What do you plan on doing?"

I shuddered looking at me gun. "I was planning on killing you. Now that seems stupid though. I'd much rather have the Russians dead."

"Because of what they've done?" He questioned.

"Those fucking assholes tried to rape me." I told him. "Of course because of what they've done!"

"You'll work for us then."

"No I won't." I replied with a hiss. "You're trying to kill the Saints. You expect me to turn on my friends."

"If you want them to live a little longer then yes." He told me with a smile. "A woman can get into the Russians easily. They think all American women are fucking sluts that will sleep with anything that has boobs and an ass."

"I've actually met some Russians. They are not all that bad."

"These ones are." He told me with a heavy sigh. "In five days you'll be sent into deal with them. You'll be dressed as a whore and you'll be packing heat. Do this and the Saints live longer."

"You're sending the Russians to kill them aren't you?" I asked him. He didn't answer. "Aren't you?"

"Just look at it this way," He blow out smoke. "It'll be a vengeance killing."

"Fuck you." I grabbed my weapons and turned to leave when someone punch me in the gut. I doubled over, my eyes shut tightly until they grabbed my hair so I had to look at the boss. "You fuckin' pric---"

"We will be fuckin'." He mumbled as they forced me to sit beside him. His hand reached around to grab my breast. "If you don't contact us in three days, we'll find you, rape you then kill you. Then you and your precious Saints can be together forever in Purgatory!"

With that he nodded and the forced me, shoving me hard over towards the door then finally threw me out onto the streets. I landed with a thud, scrapping my face over the pavement. I felt tears forming in my eyes but I shoved the idea of crying out of my mind. I began to stand when someone began to help me up.

"Th--" I began but couldn't finish speech.

Oh god.. why him?

* * *

**A:N:** Obviously this is the last chapter before the great reveal! Once again Conner, Murphy or Da? It's up to you. 

Thanks again to everyone for the great reviews. I love them so keep sending them.

IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy.

**Translations:**

She's going to fucking flake out boss - Sta andando al fiocco scopante verso l'esterno la sporgenza

We should fucking kill the bitch now. - Noi ora se uccisione scopare la femmina

Shut the fuck up you gay ass fuck - Chiudavi la scopata scopata dell'asino di gay

You speak Italian - Parlate italiano

Yes - Sì


	19. Chapter Nineteen: Truths

**A:N: **The votes have been cast and everything is accounted for.

Thanks again to everyone for their great and awesome reviews! Nyah1, IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy.

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen**

**Truths**

_I hate the world today  
You're so good to me  
I know but I can't change  
Tried to tell you  
But you look at me like maybe  
I'm an angel underneath  
Innocent and sweet  
Yesterday I cried  
Must have been relieved to see  
The softer side  
I can understand how you'd be so confused  
I don't envy you  
I'm a little bit of everything  
All rolled into one_

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover  
I'm a child, I'm a mother  
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint  
I do not feel ashamed  
I'm your hell, I'm your dream  
I'm nothing in between  
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

He grabbed me and pushed me into a nearby alley. Shoving me with such force against the wall that I could feel tears escaping my eyes. He held me against the wall with such strength that I couldn't even think of struggling. Not that I would. Not now.

Not against him.

"What the fuck do you think you're fucking doing?" He screamed at me. "Do you have any idea who that fucking was?"

I shook my head looking down at the ground. "I don't-"

"Shut the fuck up Natasha!" He shook me so I had to look at him. I turned my face away. I didn't want him to see me. "Look at me dammit." I looked up at him. "What the fuck? What about us? What the fuck are you doing? Selling us out?"

I pushed him off me. "I'm trying to save your sorry asses!" I screamed at him. "For Christ sake you think that you can do this all on your fucking own?" He began to scream back at me but I shouted over him. "Do you even know that the Italians and the Russians are so fucking pissed off at you guys that they are working together?"

He stared at me. "What the fuck are you talkin' about?"

"The Italians and the Russians are pretty fucking pissed off at you!" I exclaimed at him with a growl. "In case you hadn't noticed; I think you've killed some pretty fucking important people in their book!"

He shook his head. "The Italians would never work with the Russians!"

"They would if they were going to double cross them!" I whispered hoarsely at him. "Of course they would never work with them! What the fucks the matter with you?"

He went to grab my arm but I delivered a nice blow to his nose. "Jesus Christ Natasha!" His hand flew to his bleeding face. "What the hell's the matter with you?"

"A lot of things." I told him tears forming in my eyes again. I leaned against the wall and slid down it. My head went to my hands. His hand went to my hair and he pulled my head back so I had to look up at him. "What the hell-"

"Don't fuckin' come around anymore." He whispered at me, his blood dripping onto to my face. "You come back to the fuckin' apartment and I'll deliver you to whatever hell you belong to!"

He threw my body to the ground so I whacked my head. I lifted my head enough to watch him as he stomped off into the street. I shook my head, tears overfilling my eyes. What had I done? He was going to tell them! I couldn't stop it and I couldn't do anything to explain what the hell I was doing in an Italian deli talking to a boss.

What would he do? What was he going to say to them? What the fuck was going to happen to me? To us? Jesus Christ he wasn't suppose to be here!

* * *

I ran back to my apartment. My lip had been split from when he had shoved me to the ground so now I had a bloody chin and my shirt was ruined. I opened the door to my apartment, my eyes searched for him. I locked the door my eyes still wandering. He wasn't here. Oh shit. What the fuck-where the hell was he? 

"Murphy?" I questioned walking back to my bedroom. I heard the shower running. Had he even gotten to Murphy yet? I opened the door and poked my head into the bathroom. "Murphy?"

"Hey!" I heard him and he poked his head out from behind the curtain. "Holy shit." He jumped out of the shower and walked over to me. I kept my eyes on his. His hands held my face. "What's happened?"

"I tripped." I told him with a shake of my head. "Have you been here all day?"

He nodded dragging me over to the sink. "Yah, I've been sleeping. You weren't gone more than a fuckin' hour or two." He started the water and began to dab it onto my lip. "Have you seen Conner or Da?" I shook my head trying to remain as calm as I could. "Dammit, I don't think they know I'm still here."

I smiled at that. I needed him to stay here. I needed him to not see Conner or Da. They'd both know by now. How could him come up with a way to make him stay? Dumb question. I shook my head, my thumb went to rest on his bottom lip so he'd stop fussing over my lip. He looked at me.

I looked briefly down at his crotch. "Do they have to know?" I questioned with a smile. I was doing my best to stay calm. I was having very little luck with it. I was shaking but luckily he was a little too horny for his own good.

He smirked, his arm snaking around my waist and he pulled me down on him. I didn't want to lie to him but I didn't want him to see Conner or Da either. At least this way I wasn't lying. I just wasn't telling him everything that I should.

His lips were pressing against mine when we heard the door get kicked in. "Murph! Tasha!"

I shut my eyes tightly. Murphy rested his head against my chest. "More interruptions."

"Murphy where the fuck are you?" He screamed and I echoed throughout the apartment.

"Bathro-" I covered his mouth and shook my head. He looked at me confused but I didn't care, that is until he kicked the door in. I rested my head on Murphy's shoulder. "What the fuck?"

I suddenly felt myself get dragged off Murphy and thrown into the shower. The water beating against my skin as I smashed into the wall. My head rang with pain and I heard Murphy scream at him as to what the fuck he was doing. I looked down at the floor my eyes wide in horror. My lip was beginning to bleed again.

"Get your fuckin' clothes on!" He screamed at Murphy. "Now!"

"Conner!" I finally screamed at them my eyes shaking my head. "Stop!"

Murphy pulled his pants on as Conner walked over to me. "Why the fuck should I listen to you?" He pointed over to Conner. "Why the fuck are you even with him anymore?"

I shook my head. "If you'd just listen and stop acting like a fucking prick you'd understand!"

"Understand what?" He exclaimed at me. "I saw you at the deli talking to a bunch of fuckin' mafia guys. One being the goddamn boss!"

Murphy had moved over to help me but stopped. "What the hell's he talkin' about?"

I stared at Murphy before looking up at Conner. "Back in New York I ran into the guys who shot you. They didn't go to kill you, it was just an added bonus." I paused to whip the blood away. "They followed me like you fuckin' said. They were going to use me as bait. I made them a better offer though."

"You were going to whack us yourself?" Conner asked with a growl.

"No!" I shouted tears streaming from my eyes. "I would never do that to you! They called here when Murphy pulled the joke of putting his goddamn gun to my head! It was both the Russians and the Italians! I told you that you fucking asshole but you wouldn't listen."

Murphy's hand flew to my throat. "So what was the offer?"

"I'd get rid of the Russians..." I whispered out staring at him. I was afraid he was going to break my fucking neck. "They are hell bent on getting rid of you though."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"You pissed them off!" I screamed.

"Why the hell would you fuckin' kill Russians?"

"They said it'd keep you alive longer!" I shouted at them. Murphy stared at me, his eyes full of confusion and anger. "They said if I didn't they'd kill all of us. I swear-." I began weakly. "It's the truth. I'm not lying."

Murphy let go of my neck with a shove, my head smacked against the wall. I only stared up at him, my eyes pleading with him to understand. He just shook his head and left. I heard the front door slam shut. Conner stayed though. His eyes stared at me with something that wasn't hate or anger.

He knelt over the tub and shut off the water. I stared up at him. "Go away." I told him with a sigh curling up in the tub. "Go away!"

He stood up and headed for the door. He stopped to look back at me. "I'm sorry."

* * *

**A:N**: Well that took a while thanks again to Nyah1, IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy. 

I love them so keep sending them in. New poll will be up soon.


	20. Chapter Twenty: I'm Had To And I'm Sorry

Fair warning this chapter deals with some—situations that are very adult orientated so if you don't like that or find it offensive then don't grumble. Sorry to be blunt but just don't read that part then. 

Thanks once again to all the reviewers who keep me going and make me want to finish this story.

Thanks go out to: Topaz In My Eyes, Nyah1, IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy.

And hooray! Over 2000 hits! I'm so psyched!

* * *

**Chapter Twenty**

**I Had To—And I'm Sorry**

_How you can grant the woman access to your villa  
Trespasser and a witness while you cling to your pillow  
You better watch your back before she turn into a killer  
Best for you and the situation not to call the beaner  
To be a true player you have to know how to play  
If she say a night, convince her say a day  
Never admit to a word when she say makes a claim  
And you tell her baby no way_

But she caught me on the counter (It wasn't me)  
Saw me bangin' on the sofa (It wasn't me)  
I even had her in the shower (It wasn't me)  
She even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)

She saw the marks on my shoulder (It wasn't me)  
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn't me)  
Heard the scream get louder (It wasn't me)  
She stayed until it was over

Honey came in and she caught me red-handed  
Creeping with the girl next door  
Picture this, we were both butt naked, banging on the bathroom floor

It was five days later. I hadn't heard from the twins or Da since the day they came in and accused me of betraying them. I wasn't sure if they still didn't believe me or if they were just being assholes in general. I hadn't tried to contact them either. If they had wanted to see me they could of came themselves. And people wonder why I try to avoid relationships. I couldn't tell you how many times I cried myself to sleep.

Now I had nothing to lose. Not them. They had left me. Left me for nothing. I still had no choice though. I had to do this for the Italians or I would be dead. Not only to the MacManus's but also to the world in general.

Even if they didn't care for me anymore I wasn't about to let them be killed. I needed to do this. If not for my life but for theirs because I loved those fucking idiots even if they'd left me. It couldn't be helped. They were doing what they thought was right and they needed to keep doing it.

I walked into the deli. Two guys stood with bags at their feet. "Lo avete ottenuto?" I spoke Italian so they wouldn't think I couldn't understand them.

"Here." One handed one of the bags to me. "Change back there."

I walked into the bathroom rather quickly. Taking the bag with me I turned and locked the door. I wasn't about to deal with any pepping toms. I opened the bag and shook my head.

God they had to pick out the worse looking piece of shit ever. A black corset and I couldn't help but laugh at the skirt. A red skirt that barely covered my ass and looked like I was a whore; wait that was what we were going for. Goddammit what the hell were these guys thinking? Jesus Christ this was so fucking stupid. I couldn't do this but I couldn't just leave now. They'd kill them for sure as well as me. They'd do other things too. I knew that for certain.

There was a large coat with several weapons in side of it. God like that wouldn't be noticeable.

I strapped everything on and looked at the mirror. My face was still too pretty. Not whorish at all. I darkened everything up. Eyeliner, lipstick cheeks. Everything. I took some knives and shoved them into my boot and placed a nine mill in the front of the corset. It wasn't noticeable but once I took the damn thing off it would be. I made sure the safety was on. That would suck.

I finished up and stepped out. They stared at me with smiles of pure evil. I shook my head at them knowing what they were thinking. "Directions?"

"In the bag." A tall slender one spoke. He was young. A little older than me I'd say. His dark eyes stared at me. I stared up at him as his hand grabbed my face. "You need to come back. We need conformation of their deaths."

"I'll call you then." I began trying to pull away.

He held tightly to my face and using his weight shoved me back against the counter. I groaned at the sudden pain in my spine. "I don't think so." He told me with a hiss into my ear. His hand moved to hold my hair in his grasp. "I want you to bring me back a ring finger. If you don't.."

The other slipped down my side and moved under my skirt. I gasped as he ripped my panties off. I began to struggle reaching for something, anything to hurt him with. Nothing. He just yanked harder back on my head. I screeched in pain, my back landing harshly on the top of the counter. The angle he had me at hurt so badly. I felt his hand moving further up until he pushed his fingers inside of me.

I brought my fist around and smashed him in the face. He staggered backwards as I sat up to see him laughing at me. "Bring back their fingers."

"Go to hell you fuckin' prick!" I hissed at him grabbing the directions and leaving without another word.

I looked at the directions. It was thirteen blocks away. This was going to be one fun walk.

* * *

I knocked on the door to the hotel room. It wasn't an easy place to get into. Especially dressed like this. After about ten minutes of convincing the manager I was here for business. I was waiting for the door to open. I was leaning against the doorframe with a cigarette in my mouth. I smiled looking him up and down. 

"Privet." I began stepping forward. "Vy sobirayuschijs'a predlozhit' mne vojti ili - ya sobirayuschijs'a derzhat' na rasstoyanii moyu zadnicu?" He raised an eyebrow and I stepped up. God he was hideous. Couldn't anyone in the mob ever be remotely cute? "Vinnaj poslala men'a." I smirked up at him, tracing my fingers over his tie to pull him down. "Priyed'te v rebenka.." I whispered kissing his neck softly. So gross. "YA ne hochu nahodit's'a v zale vs'u noch', no yesli eto - to, kak Vy gol'?"

"You're from Russia?" He questioned his English broken like he was still learning.

"Of course." I began trying to sound my best like him. "Vinny says you like natives?"

"Best from the mother land." He smiled grabbing me by the waist and pulling me into the room. "Alexita!" He shouted handed me off to some other guy. I was guessing one of the head of the group or at least high up. "Vy hotite yeye pervyj?'

I looked up at him with a smile. "Vy snachala vzroslyj yunosha?"

He smiled down at me while I ran my hand over his thigh. I looked around. Only four. At least I had enough bullets. I smiled moving up against him. I noticed a ring on his finger. Married? Obviously not one of the have and to hold men. I licked up his neck until he grabbed me tightly dragging me over to the nearest bedroom. No words. Nothing. He had a scar on his face running down his cheek. At least his was better built than the rest of them.

He shut the door to the room. Still silent. "So," I began taking my jacket off only to hear him groan and move up to grab my ass. "What do you want baby?" He grabbed my hair and forced his tongue down my throat. I moaned as he backed me up to the bed. I felt the edge of the bed but before he could push me back I smirked and turned him so I landed on top. My hand rubbed up and down his crotch.

I shut my eyes. Just imagine it's him and not this guy.

I opened and saw him. I saw him smiling up at me like he did the first time when we were nervous. I could see him. His eyes piercing into my soul. But I couldn't imagine for long.

I knelt down and saw the other man. My mouth covered his and I drew a knife out. He didn't notice not even when I drove it deep into his skull. He didn't scream, the blood splattered. His lips stopped moving. I felt his breathing cease. I had done it and I had done it with a shaking. Was I a killer? I couldn't be? I was meant to save lives. I guess I was though.

I got up and walked back out to the room. I leaned against the doorframe while the other three looked at me. "What the fucked you give him to drink? The idiots passed out on the bed." I twiddled my fingers around the strings of my corset. "Anyone up for something kinky?"

They all smiled stepping closer. I completely undid the corset. I heard a knock from the door. I gasped but only one went for the door. I couldn't help but shake as the other to began to pull off my corset, my hand went for my gun and they began to shout. I shot the two with the silencer without hesitation. I looked to the door where the other ran forward towards me. His hand held a gun of his own and he shot. I screamed at the sudden pain I felt in my torso.

Collapsing to the ground I raised the gun only to have it kicked away from me. He grabbed my arm raising me off the ground. I shuddered in hellish pain. Looking up to him he growled throwing me against the wall. I yelped.

"You little whore!" He screamed. His English was better than everyone else's. That was certain. "Who the fuck sent you?" I shook my head trying to stand. He kicked me in the gut to keep me down. "You fucking cunt!" He grabbed me and lifted me to the coach. His gun pressed against my temple. "Tell me or I'll blow your brains out."

My hand moved down to my boot but he grabbed me so I couldn't move. I couldn't get anything that could stop him.

"Those mother fuckers sent you didn't they?" He questioned grabbing my hair so I had to look at him. "You're the Saints whore!" He smiled looking down at me bare chest. "I'd bet they'd love to see you when I'm done with you."

"Why the fuck would they care?" I questioned as he began to take his belt off. I grunted as he knocked against the bullet wound. "Dammit."

"Relax," He told me pushing his pants down. "You'll live longer."

"So you're just going to leave me on their fuckin' doorstep?" I sneered at him as he pulled me down so that he could rip my skirt off. I screamed, the pain ran up my torso.

"Or, just in the church." He snickered as he forced his hand onto my stomach pushing down on my wound. I screamed that he covered with a harsh kiss.

I tilted my head to the side. I couldn't look at him. My mind drifted off. Trying to ignore him the best I could. I thought of him and felt my lips part and I didn't realize that I spoke his name, my eyes shut tightly I was crying.

"He's not coming love." He whispered in my ear. "You can imagine I'm him..but I'm not."

"You're right.." I hissed out my hand slipping down to my boot. I grabbed the knife. "You're not him." I brought the blade up and delivered a blow to the back of his skull. He gasped and I cried, blood dribbling from his mouth, I could see the tip of the blade in his skull. "But I don't have to imagine you're him."

* * *

**A:N:** Don't worry you haven't seen the last of the brothers or da. I just needed to set the scene and trust me this does play out. 

Thanks go out to: Topaz In My Eyes, Nyah1, IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy.

**Translations:**

**Italian**

You got it - Lo avete ottenuto

**Russians**

Hello – Privet

You going to invite me in or am I going to freeze my ass off - Vy sobirayuschijs'a predlozhit' mne vojti ili - ya sobirayuschijs'a derzhat' na rasstoyanii moyu zadnicu

Vinny sent me over - Vinnaj poslala men'a

Come on baby - Priyed'te v rebenka

I don't want to be in the hall all night but if that's how you rollin' - YA ne hochu nahodit's'a v zale vs'u noch', no yesli eto - to, kak Vy gol'

You want her first - Vy hotite yeye pervyj

You first big boy - Vy snachala vzroslyj yunosha


	21. Chapter Twentyone: I Need You

**A:N: **Short and sweet.

Thanks to everyone for the reviews!

Topaz In My Eyes, Nyah1, IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy.

Thanks again and enjoy. Don't forget to review!

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-one**

**I Need You**

_I don't need a lot of things  
I can get by with nothing  
Of all the blessings life can bring  
I've always needed something  
But I've got all I want  
When it comes to loving you  
You're my only reason  
You're my only truth_

I need you like water  
Like breath, like rain  
I need you like mercy  
From heaven's gate  
There's a freedom in your arms  
That carries me through  
I need you

You're the hope that moves me  
To courage again  
You're the love that rescues me  
When the cold winds, rage  
And it's so amazing  
'cause that's just how you are  
And I can't turn back now  
'cause you've brought me too far 

Tears streamed down the side of my face. The man's dead weight on top of me was suffocating. It took several minutes for me to get enough strength to push him to the side so he'd land on the floor. I felt so strange. Loopy and light headed never a good thing to deal with. I knew what it was that was doing this,

Too much blood loss, it was making me feel weak. I looked around for my clothes. Grabbing everything I came in with and shoving it deep into my bag.

No evidence. Couldn't leave any evidence. Nothing.

I walked around until I had everything and changed back into what I had been wearing. The blood was everywhere. Not just theirs but mine as well. I reached into my jacket pocket. Good thing I remembered the ammonia. I hit every single drop I could find. I needed to stop the bleeding. I was in so much pain. It wasn't going to stop on it's own though. I shoved a punch of tissue into the hole and tried not to scream.

It stopped the bleeding at least. I could only limp out without drawing too much attention to myself. I walked away from the room telling myself that I could make it. I made my way to the stairs. It was so dark. Growing darker as I moved. It felt like centuries as I walked down the steps. Everyone seemed like they were deadlier than the last.

So much pain.

I cried as I left the building. I couldn't only wish that no other Russians or Italians tonight. I wished they were here with me to help. I wasn't going back to Italians. Not like this. They'd take advantage of me too easily. I breathed in deeply. It was too far home. I couldn't go to the hospital either. Explaining to someone why I had a bullet hole in my gut and not panties on wasn't my idea of a good night.

Especially when it's followed by the shittiness of today.

Doc.

Doc. Of course! The bar was close enough for me to make it. At least I hoped it was. It was still early enough that he'd be there or whoever was closing. I could make it if I had the strength before he closed.

I coughed; my hand went to cover my mouth.

Moistness. Red. Blood.

If was becoming a very big part in my life at the moment.

* * *

It felt like centuries to get to the bar. It was late into early morning so no one was really there. I stumbled into the door, barely having enough strength to turn the doorknob so when it opened I slammed against the wall. 

Doc was behind the bar along with Mary, his daughter. We'd worked together at the bar every once in a while. She was sort of an odd one. Like her father but still she was a nice girl. Mary saw me first, her eyes growing wide at the sight of me as I collapsed to the ground and I felt my face smash against the floor.

"Oh my god!" I heard Mary scream. "Tasha!"

I heard her run out to me and she rolled me back over so I was lying on my back. My vision was blurry. "Mary..Doc?"

"We—we're-we're here." Doc stuttered out. "Fuck! Ass!"

"What the hell happened to you?" She whispered. But then again it wasn't a whisper. She was screaming. I needed to stay awake. Tell them not to take me to the hospital.

"No hospitals." I told her. "No hospitals.."

"If we don't get you to a hospital you'll die!" She told me with a sob. "Natash.."

"No hospitals!" I ordered her now. "Just..keep me.."

* * *

Movement. I knew I could see them moving around it. Blurred though. Everything was so blurry. Screaming, people were screaming at the others for what's happened. Warm hands touching my cold flesh, trying to wake me up. So many words, so many screams and shouts. My head hurt from the screaming. 

I felt my head fall to the side and I heard someone's voice. It was so quiet.

_Natasha..  
_My mind drifted back and forth. I could see the Italians. Them ordering me, telling me what I had to do. Telling me if I didn't Murphy and Conner would did.

Murphy.

_Please.._

Why? Why did they leave? I explained everything. Why I had met with the Italians without their knowing and what was happening. If I died I wouldn't know if they would ever forgive me but there was nothing to forgive. I had done what I thought was right. Trying to help them stay alive. It was all I could do and they shunned me for it.

_Please Tasha_

Why had I even done it? They cared nothing for me. Why should I care for them? A question that was too easily answered.

_Stay with me._

_

* * *

_

**A:N:** Like I said short and sweet. Thanks once again to the following for the awesome reviews.Topaz In My Eyes, Nyah1, IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy.


	22. Chapter Twentytwo: Guardian Angel

**A:N:**okay that took forever enjoy Thanks to everyone for the reviews!

Topaz In My Eyes, Nyah1, IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy.

Thanks again and enjoy. Oh yeah fair warning, this chapter is rated M. Don't forget to review!

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-two**

**Guardian Angel**

_I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven _

It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.  
Seasons are changing  
And waves are crashing  
And stars are falling all for us  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
I can show you I'll be the one 

_I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven _

Cause you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart  
Please don't throw that away  
Cause I'm here for you  
Please don't walk away,  
Please tell me you'll stay, stay  


I was in the alleyway next to the deli. My torso was red. Blood. My blood. Was I dead? No. I wouldn't be in the alleyway. Had I died why would I be here? Was this hell? My eyes darted around, searching for someone, anyone. I could feel the life being drained from my body. But I wasn't bleeding. Not anymore. I just had red on my body. It looked like paint but it smelt of blood. Of pure terror and horror.

I stumbled forward, my eyes shut tightly as my body landed on the ground. It wasn't cement or brick I landed on though. It was softer. Much softer, like a cushion or something you'd find in _Bed, Bath and Beyond._ I opened my eyes to discover I was no longer in the alleyway. I was in the MacManus's apartment. Lying across Murphy's bed. I knew it well enough to not get it screwed up with Conner's.

What was going on?

I rolled over onto my back.

There was nothing. No blood, no alley, no smell, and no clothes. Instead I looked up into Murphy's eyes. He hovered over me, his eyes dark with lust but with love as well. Why was he here? Why was I here? He shifted so he lay on top of me. His lips pressing against my flesh over and over again, I felt my body ache for his touch. My hands moved to his hair and I pulled him back long enough to look at his face. His normal blue eyes were darker than night.

This wasn't him. I began to scream when his lips pressed over mine in a harsh kiss. He kissed me so hard I could taste blood swelling into my throat.

I shut my eyes feeling a scream well up in the back of my throat. I opened to see the Italian kissing me. I screamed bringing my knife around and I stabbed him in the back of the head. Blood squirted from the blow and I was suddenly standing a pool of blood, it covered my body and all I could do was scream.

This wasn't me. I wasn't a killer.

No. I wasn't. I couldn't be.

* * *

_Wake up.._

_Please Natasha.._

_Please just wake up.._

_Please.._

* * *

I felt my eyes flutter open. It was so bright. My head was still spinning. Deep breaths, one following the next until everything was at least in one spot. The same spot as the last blink at least would be nice. Something was beside me. Resting on my arm. I let my head fall to the side.

Murphy. He was asleep next to me, his head resting on my arm. I smiled weakly. He came. I couldn't believe that he actually was here. Why though? Out of pity or because of something else?

My body was so sore but I still moved my hand to rest on his head. His shot his head up as soon as my hand rested on him. His eyes wide, I couldn't tell if he was happy or not to see me up.

"Natasha.." He whispered softly taking my hand. "Are you all right?"

I nodded. "I think so." I mumbled. "I don't plan on moving any time soon." I smiled weakly. "Why are you here Murphy?" I questioned him without a thought or a care. "Last I saw you, you couldn't of cared less whether I lived or died."

"I was mad." He began softly crawling up onto the bed beside me. "Natasha I'm so sorry.."

"Sorry doesn't cut it." I told him with a snarl. I wasn't going to be nice to him on this matter. Not at all.

"Natasha.."

"Don't Murphy.." I began choking back on pain. "Do you have any fuckin' clue about how much you've fuckin' hurt me? You didn't hear me did you? Didn't hear what I did? What I had to do?"

He looked down my body shaking his head, tears forming in his eyes. "I fuckin' know now."

"You couldn't have trusted me then!" I shouted at him straining to sit up. "Jesus Christ Murph! What the fuck do I have to do to get you to fucking trust me dammit!?"

"I do trust you!"

"Then why'd.." I cried out arching my back as I fell back against the bed.

"Natasha!" He screamed sitting up and holding me tightly. I was in so much fucking pain. "For Christ sakes lay down and stay the hell down dammit!"

"Go to hell Murphy!" I shouted at him struggling to get away from him. I pushed against him with all my strength pounding against his chest with my fists. Tears stream down my cheeks. I was angry and yet I was so happy to see him alive. "Just go to hell you fuckin' prick!"

He held me against him, his eyes were full of hurt to hear me say such words. "Natasha. How the fuck would you feel if the person you loved told you that they were working for the fuckin' enemy?"

"To save your fucking life!" I screamed at him, my head tilting back in agony. "You're a fuckin prick! What the hell's the matter with you?"

Suddenly, his lips covered mine. I wanted to pull away; I didn't have the will too. I just wanted to feel him close to me. To feel him kissing my body the way he did the first time. I loved the way he felt against me. He wasn't rough unless I provoked it; I loved the way he was with me. But I couldn't let him off. Not like this. I shook my head pushing him back. I was still pissed off as hell at him.

"Please.." I pleaded as I fell back on the bed. "Just leave me the hell alone."

"Natasha.." He began with a sigh. "Please believe me when I say I love you and I'm so fuckin' sorry this had to happen."

With that he got up and left. God that man was an idiot. He didn't understand women at all. While I was happy to at least see him all I wanted at the moment was to be left alone but Conner came in only moments after Murphy to ruin that idea for me. I glared at him with a growl slamming my head down on the pillow.

"Go to hell." I muttered at him. Yet another person I was pissed off at.

"Natasha." Conner began softly. "He hasn't left your side in days.." I didn't look at him. "Doc called us the minute you collapsed. He really does love you.."

"If he loved me he wouldn't have left in the first place!"

"He was fuckin' pissed off." He told me with a shout. "Wouldn't you be?"

"At least you said that you were fucking sorry!" I sneered back at him sitting up. "I thought of the two of you you'd be pissed off more! So he can go fuck off for a couple of days so he can know how I felt." I smiled at him briefly. "I'll forgive him but doesn't matter, I'm still pissed off as hell."

He raised an eyebrow. " 'Couple of days?'"

I nodded with a soft growl. "I still love that bastard you fuckin' idiot. You and your brother are stupider than a retarded rat."

* * *

It had been four days before I was able to get out of bed. Murphy had been in and out of his room like crazy. Watching me, trying to talk to me. I was finally able to move about on my own though. I wasn't about to forgive him just yet for what he did but I couldn't stay mad at him. Even though he thought I was still pissed off as hell at him.

I was out of bed walking around when I noticed a note on the kitchen counter. From Conner of course. Something about him running to get some medicine. Da had been out of town for the past couple of days. He had been trying to keep the boys on the down low so he'd decided to hide out for a few weeks so not to draw attention to the boys. Nothing about Murphy though.

Then I heard a little tiny bit of a snore.

I looked over towards the couch noticing his feet dangling over the end of it.

I smirked with a shake of my head walking over to him. He was sleeping like a baby. I moved my hand to run through his hair. He stirred opening his eyes to look up at me.

"Tas-."

I covered his mouth. "Don't say anything.." He began to say something again but I shook my head. "You'll say something that will piss me off."

"You're never going to forgive me.." He questioned as I walked back to the kitchen. He followed me as I moved over to the coffee pot. I could feel him behind me. I turned around as his arms moved around me to lean against the counter. "Are you?"

"Both of us betrayed one another." I told him softly as I tried to walk past him but he stopped me.

"Dammit Tash." He glared at me. "It's been days since you'd even come near me. Shit you've talked to Conner more often than me. Why the fuck won't you let this bullshit pass?"

"Because I don't know.." I looked to the floor. I knew I was still mad. My mind couldn't wrap around what was going on anymore. I gotten involved in the way they didn't want me too. I was a murderer, I was what they hadn't wanted me to become. "I want you not to be mad at me for what I did."

His hands moved to my face. "I'm not. You couldn't have told me what the hell you had planned though?"

"No. I couldn't." I told him looking up at his blue eyes. "I won't apologize for it either."

"What?"

"I shouldn't have to apologize for saving your life." I growled at him and without another word I pushed past him. I walked off into my room with a huff. Slamming the door shut I moved to sit down on my bed when the door suddenly the burst open. "What the fuck?'

"I'm not going to sit by goddammit!" Murphy screamed at me. I put my hands on my hips. "What the fuck is really fuckin' with you?"

"Get out of here dammit." I screamed at him.

"Fuck that bullshit Tasha." He shouted back at me. "You've been treating me like shit for the pa-"

"Don't even go through the whole treating you like shit deal with me you fuckin' prick!" I growled at him. "What about the way you fucking treated me?"

"Don't even compare that shit to me dammit!"

"You fucking left me for dead!" I screamed at him. "If Doc hadn't called you, I would have been dead! Did you try and call? Did you come over to see if I was all right? No! So why the fuck should I not be pissed off at you? Give me that answer and I'l-"

Suddenly he grabbed me and his lips pressed up against mine. I pushed him off me. "Dammit Murph kissing me isn't going to chang--" He grabbed me again and kissed me again. "Stop it dammit!"

He stepped away for a moment, just staring at me. "I had every fuckin' right to be pissed off! You won't off behind my back, my families back putting us all in danger! You should of never of fuckin' stayed! We fuckin' warned you not to! Why the fuck couldn't you have just stayed the fuck out of this! Then you never would have gotten shot!"

"You know why I couldn't just leave!" I shouted back at him, I felt tears begin to adorn my face. "I was already too involved as it was. I couldn't just walk away! You fuckin' idiot, I love you, it doesn't mean I have to like you at the moment!" He stared at me, his eyes wide with shock. "So shut the fuck about not forgiving you, I already have, I'm still pissed off as hell!"

He shook his head at me. I knew he was going to start talking again. Right now he just needed to shut the hell up. "What the fuck-"

I moved up grabbing his shirt and pulling me and I covered his lips with mine. He stumbled back, shocked at what I had done. It didn't take long for his lips to move against mine. His arms wrapping around me, pulling me tightly against him, his mouth opening wider to kiss me harder, I felt his tongue push into my mouth. I moved my tongue with his in an intoxicating dance.

God how could he do this to me? Make me feel so alive and such love.

I brought my lips away from his. His eyes dark and full of lust, but also confusion. "What the hell?"

"You needed to shut up." I hissed at him, my breathing hard as I felt his hand moved up to grab a hold of my hair and he pulled my head back. I gasped softly as his lips ran over my flesh.

My hands pulled at his shirt, my mind racing with thoughts. As I'm sure his was. While one of his hands held my head in place the other moved down to grip my ass. I could feel his breath on my flesh and I couldn't help but want him to hold me closer. I didn't care about the pain in my body. It didn't matter to me, to me.

His hand left my head and he moved to lift my body off the ground, my legs instinctively made their way around his body. I tilted my head down to kiss him. His tongue invaded my mouth as soon as our lips touched. My nails dug into his back, he held me tighter to his body. I moaned against him as his grip began to hurt but not a bad hurt. The hurt that brought pleasure from pain, the pain that was amazing.

I moved my hand back up to his hair and pulled his head back. His eyes were dark with desire. I could only stare at those eyes, my body shaking with anticipation. He moved us over to the bed, my legs released him so I could kneel on the mattress. My hands moved to his chest to grab hold of his shirt. I pulled it over his head to reveal his toned muscles. He stared down at me with a seductive smile.

I felt helpless, but not weak. My fingers moved over his chest to slither back around his neck. My head tilted down and I ran kisses over his chest, over his collarbone towards his neck. Sucking at his neck I could feel him tremble against me. I smirked, my gaze turning up to him as I continued to tease him. His eyes were shut, his head tilted back.

Without any warning he pushed me back and mounted me. His lips colliding with mine over and over again. The heat in my body is intensifying. His hands caressed my body, running over my back, slinking under my shirt to dig frantically into my back. His pelvis grinding against mine so I could feel him press up against me. I gasped spreading my legs wider as he pushed against me.

Moaning loudly I moved my hands down to his belt buckle. Speed was on my side as I pulled the belt off rapidly. My hands fumbled with his jeans but he stopped me from getting them off. His lips pulled away from me so he could look down at my face.

One hand supported his weight as the other went to my pants. He pulled off the belt agonizingly slow, his eyes never shifted away from mine. I wanted him to stop teasing me and just to take me. It didn't take him long to get my pants off, leaving my panties on. I moved my arms so I could pull my shirt off. Lying beneath him in only my undergarments, I could feel my heart beating hard in my chest. My hands ran up his arms, his hand touched my face as he leaned down to kiss me again.

"Murphy.." I whispered bringing my hand to his cheek.

He kissed me. "I know.."

He pushed down on my, his hand running over my body, mine over his. My hands moved down to push his pants off. He rested on top of me, not where he was crushing my body. His face inches away from mine, just looking at me looking at him. I felt a hand slip behind my back; my bra was gone in a matter of seconds. His mouth moved down my face, down my neck towards my breast. I arched against him with a placed his mouth on me.

Space was nonexistent now. His body was so warm and we were only getting hotter.

* * *

**A:N:** Well that took long enough to get up. Hope u enjoyed. Please read and review. I love them so thanks to all the reviewers out there! Topaz In My Eyes, Nyah1, IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy. You're all awesome and I love all the reviews. 


	23. Chapter Twentythree: Not Leaving

**A:N:** Thanks again to the reviewers and I hope you enjoy this.

Thanks again to: Topaz In My Eyes, Nyah1, IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy.

A little dirty at the beginning but it goes away

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-three**

**Not Leaving**

_I always needed time on my own  
I never thought I'd  
need you there when I cry  
And the days feel like years when I'm alone  
And the bed where you lie  
Is made up on your side _

When you walk away  
I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
When you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day  
And make it OK  
I miss you

I've never felt this way before  
Everything that I do  
reminds me of you  
And the clothes you left  
they lie on the floor  
And they smell just like you  
I love the things that you do

When you walk away  
I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now? 

I woke up slowly, my eyes felt heavy, my body was so tired and even pained. My head was on Murphy's chest, he was awake, I could tell from the way his hand rested on my head. My arm rested over his torso. His breathing was shallow, quiet, sort of like he didn't want to wake me.

"Hey." I began moving my head so I could look up at him.

He smiled down at me. "Hey. You okay?"

"Aside from not being able to walk right for the next week," I began with a smirk. "Pretty damn good."

He chuckled at me kissing my forehead. "Sorry."

"Well it is all your fault."

He lifted himself up onto his elbows. "Hey, how the hell is this my fault? As I recall you were the one who kissed me which in turn led to the fucking."

"If you hadn't pissed me off in the first place none of this would have happened." I grumbled at him leaning up and kissing him longingly on the lips so he wouldn't reply. He opened his mouth against mine allowing my tongue to move with his. I pulled away after a moment.

"I may have instigated last night but you're making it your fuckin' fault now." He groaned at me.

I smiled at him as he moved up to kiss me again. "Have you heard from Da?"

He looked at me puzzled. "That's one way to stop sex."

I smiled moving on top of him, my legs on either side of him as I sat straight up. My hands held his. "I'm serious. Da has been incommunicado for the last couple of days. Does he have any idea what the hell's going on?"

"I don't know. Conner was suppose to meet with him in the market when he went to get antibiotics for.." He looked down at the bandage wound on my torso. "That. When he gets back we need to change that damn thing."

"It's been over five hours," I told him looking out towards the living room. We didn't shut the door. "Has he come and gone?"

He shook his head. "The bloody wank probably found a hooker and took her elsewhere." I looked at him in disgust. "The fuck ass is at the pub. He called a little while ago when you were sleeping."

"How the fuck did I not wake up for that?"

He smirked. "Too tired."

I nodded. "Probably." The door opened and shut from out in the living room. I turned my head. "Conner?"

"You up Tasha?" He called out.

"Bedroom." I shouted at him then looked down at Murphy. "Let him freak out?'

He smirked as Conner turned the corner looking in a bag. "I got a bunch of shit that should be able to kick whatever the hell's in your system." He didn't even look up until he was almost into the room. "Any way have you see-" He looked up to see Murphy and me. I was just smiling and Murphy sat up wrapping an arm around my waist. Kissing my chest before he looked over to Conner. The look on Conner's face was priceless. A mix of 'what the hell' and 'I don't want to see that'. "Well nice to see you two fuckers are fucking again." He tilted his head. "I think your bandage is bleeding through though."

I looked down. It was bleeding pretty nicely not enough to worry about though. "We know."

"And your also some things known as your fuckin' clothes!" Conner finally screeched at us so we could start to chuckle. Murphy's hand came up to my hair and pulled me back down to kiss him. I heard Conner begin to groan as I dug my nails into his brother's shoulders. Hard enough to make him shift his weight allowing me to feel his body under mine. "Dammit some shit I don't need to see."

Murphy spoke in between the fury kisses. "So shut the fuckin' door."

He began to shut the door complaining loudly the whole way: "I think I liked it better when you two were pissed off at each other."

I started to laugh when Conner shut the door. I pulled my lips away while I chuckled, Murphy began to nip at my neck but it didn't stop me from chuckling. When I felt his teeth in my skin that I realized he wasn't fooling around anymore. My gaze turned to his eyes as he looked up at me. His eyes were the same way they were last night. Dark and lustful, wanting to do things all over again, his body shifted again as did mine. My smirk faded as his hands moved down my back, pulling me closer to him.

"My fault?" I questioned him with a whisper my hands moved over his back.

He pulled me down causing me to gasp, my nails dug into his back. "Your fault."

* * *

I walked out of the room first. Murphy was having trouble finding all of his clothes. Conner sat on the couch; the television cranked up so loud it hurt my head. I moved over to shut it off. He just stared at me as if I was an insect on the windshield.

"What?" I questioned him and he glared at me in utter annoyance. He shook his head at me. "I thought you'd be happy," I sat down next to him. "That we weren't fighting anymore."

"Yes but walking in on ya two fuckin' isn't my idea of a good day." He growled at me.

"Oh you like it and you know it." I told him with a smirk standing and walking towards the kitchen. I began to sift through everything when I heard the phone begin to ring. I moved over to answer it as Conner walked in. I smirked picking it up. "'ello?"

"Well it's good to hear your voice Natasha." I heard Da over the line. "At least you're off you arse now. Is Murphy or Conner there?"

"Yeah hold on." I handed the phone off to Conner. "It's Da." I told him as Murphy walked into the kitchen in just his pants. "Did you forget something?"

He pointed to me. "You have me shirt."

I looked down and smirked. "Oh yeah."

He walked up to me and wrapped his arms around me. "Who's Conner talkin' to?"

"Da." I told him with a sigh kissing his cheek. "I'll find one of my shirts kay?"

He handed me one. "Thank ya."

"So polite." I snickered off walking past him.

"He's always polite after he's done fuckin'." Conner told us and Murphy flipped him off.

Murphy followed me. "He's just pissed off."

"Why?" I looked up at him.

"Because Da hasn't found a target yet and he won't be back for at least another goddamn week." He told me.

I turned and looked up at him, a weird thought crossing my mind. "What about the Italians?"

"Which ones?" He questioned.

"The ones who fucked me over." I told him with a growl.

He spun me around. "You think I haven't done that already? You think that once we found you we wouldn't do that?'

"You were with me the entire time though." I told him. "You don't know all of them. Who all did you kill?"

"I don't want you in that part of my fucking life."

"Murphy," I took off his shirt and pointed down at the gunshot wound. "I am involved. I have always been part of that life whether you like that or not. So don't get all pissy goddammit. We both knew that I was going to be involved with. For Christ sake Murph, you should of known that if I'm here then I'm part of your life. It can't be just part of your life and not all of it. I am here. It can't be like that. They know we're together and they won't just stand by and watch us now."

"May.."

"Don't pull any maybes on me dammit." I growled at him. "Murphy, I love you and I don't care what the fuck happens, I am here and so are you. That's all that matters."

He stared at me and shook his head. His hand went to my cheek. "I don't want you to get killed because I fucked something up."

"We all die Murph." I told him quietly and he glared at me. "I don't care how or when I just want to be here. With you, don't you?"

He nodded kissing my forehead then pulling me in for a hug. "Mother of Christ I love you girl.."

I smiled up at him burying my head into his chest. He loved me. He loved me.

* * *

Thanks again to everyone and don't forget to review. i love them and u know it so send them in. 


	24. Chapter TwentyFour: Unjust Rewards

**A:N: **Wow, yes I do live but the chapters are coming to a slow halt. Yes we're nearly done! Thanks again to everyone for reading and the reviews from: jimmie345,Topaz In My Eyes, Nyah1, IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy. I just noticed I had one-hundred and one reviews.

And I just got done watching dalamations! Ha! Any way enjoy this chappy and don't forget to review.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-four**

**Unjust Rewards**

_Fake it if you don't belong  
Yeah, fake it if you feel like affection  
Whoa, you're such a fuckin' hypocrite _

I can fake with the best of anyone  
I can fake with the best of them all  
I can fake with the best of anyone  
I can fake it all

Who's to know if your soul will fade at all  
The one you sold to fool the world  
You lost your self-esteem along the way, yeah  
Good god, you're comin' up with reasons  
Good god, you're draggin' it out  
Good god, it's the changin' of the seasons  
I feel so raped, now follow me down and just...

Fake it if you're out of direction  
Fake it if you don't belong  
Yeah, fake it if you feel like affection  
Whoa, you're such a fuckin' hypocrite 

I walked out of the apartment, I needed a good excuse as to why in the hell I hadn't even been to the hospital once but I just decided to let them think I wussed out. Better that than them trying figure out why I looked like shit when I had medical training and the ability to call 911. It had been so long since I was out.

Murphy and Conner where out with Da taking care of business so I figured it was best to have medicine on hand when they got back. I was at least happy I had healed as quickly as I had. But then again, the Russians were going to through a fucking fit when they found out who the hell was sent to do it. I couldn't even bring my mind to think about what I had done.

My mind was frozen in time, blocking out the memories as best as I could.

I walked into the store quietly. I was the only one in there, along with the clerk of course. His eyes were shifty though. I had been here before but I imagined I didn't look as good as I hoped. I was still recovering as much I liked to believe I was immortal.

Okay, I needed bandages, gauze, bactine since they used the last of it on me.

Suddenly a scream and my gaze went to the clerk who was on his knees. A gun to his head, an Italian mobster holding the weapon. I covered my mouth and knelt in the back. I couldn't fight, not now, I had no weapon and I had no will in me. The shot rang out and I yelped a bit.

I could hear footsteps coming towards me. I was too frightened to move, all speech had left me as I felt the cold weapon pressed against my temple.

"We've been waiting for you to crawl out of your fucking hole," The Italian told me. "We wanted to properly thank you for your services."

"Go to hell," I whimpered out my legs going numb.

The gun pressed harder against my head. "Get up."

I looked up to him, tears glistening in my eyes. "No."

"Do you want to die, bitch?" He questioned with a growl.

"I did my service," I growled at him with a choke. "So fuck off."

He reached down and picked me off my feet, the gun still pressed firmly against my temple. He pushed me out towards the street. Tears overflowed my face as I stepped out onto the street. On lookers gasped as we reached the car and I was shoved in without another word. He got into the car with me. The gun still pointed at me.

"Drive," He growled to the driver and I stared at him. "I'm surprised at you. You usually fight back. In too much pain?"

"Go to hell," I growled now and he slammed the butt of the gun on my thigh.

"Your sass and annoyances obviously haven't changed."

"Where the hell are we going?"

"A friend of ours needs to see you," He told me. "Over what I don't know nor do I care."

"I did what you asked," I hissed at him with a groan of pain. "I am not in your debt so why the fuck does a 'friend' need to see me?"

He glared over at me. "Maybe he wants you to kill some more Russians. How the fuck should I know?"

"I'm not killing anyone."

He leaned forward. "Why? Gone soft? Stupid fucking whore."

It didn't take long to get to wherever the hell we were going. It wasn't the deli. That I knew. But I still didn't know where I was. The man who brought me pushed me out of the car. The place was run down, old with an incredible stink that I couldn't imagine it smelling any better at the moment.

We walked into the building; it looked like a packing plant at one point or another. I saw him. The guy who had first gotten me involved with the damn killing. It hadn't been the brothers. They had tried their best to keep me out of it.

The man stared down at me, he didn't look happy with me. Not one bit.

"My darling little sparrow," He began as the guy shoved me towards him and I tripped landing at his feet. "Vinny! Be nice to our little sparrow!" He knelt down and helped me to stand. As soon as I was to my feet I pulled my arm away from him. "She's had a rough couple of weeks."

"What the fuck do you want?" I questioned with a low hiss. "I did what you wanted, why haven't you left me alone?"

He began to chuckle. "See darling, I said 'leave the saints alone' for just a little bit. Not you, but then again I am not a man of my word," I glared at him. "Grab her."

I began to scream and struggle up until someone hit my upside the head.

"You were right about one thing my dear," He began as someone moved me to a chair. "We do fuck everyone over as soon as we get the chance."

"What,"

"You're the perfect bait," he smiled sitting beside me in another chair, my vision beginning to clear. He ran a gun over my cheek. "We know that one has being putting hard dick to you, he'll be wondering where the hell you are and he'll call you," He pulled my cell phone out. "And you're going to tell them what's happened, then we'll talk to him and get him and his brother's asses down here and then we'll kill them then put you in a pit to use as a fucking whore."

I spit in his face. "Good fuckin' luck," I growled at him. "I won't say a damn thing. You got my ass here but the only way your gonna get them hear is if they know it's me so good luck."

"You're a murderer," He said after several long moments of staring at me. I looked away from him. He knew how I'd react. But how? "But did your hands shake?" I didn't answer him. "They didn't did they? You are a murderer and you need a taste of blood in your mouth now. You liked it, didn't you?" His hand smacked my face, blood erupted into my mouth. "Taste that blood? You like it and just get use to it because you're gonna taste more."

"You might as well kill me," I whimpered out at him looking up. "I won't do a damn thing that you want. Not anymore."

His face scowled and he jumped to his feet cursing loudly. He turned back and put the gun directly in my face.

"So be it!"

* * *

**A:N:** Yes I'm mean but do enjoy and don't forget to review. I love reviews! thanks again to jimmie345,Topaz In My Eyes, Nyah1, IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy.

Oh yeah something to be reminded of, didn't the brothers know several different languages, know how to bandage each other up and handle themselves in a fire fight? Considering they worked in a meat plant doesn't that sound convenient too?

Don't forget to review! And thanks once again for reading!


	25. Chapter TwentyFive: Settling Accounts

**A:N: **Alright, as this is the last and finally chapter I give my thanks to all those who have read and reviewed throughout the story. I appreciate the reviews from: jimmie345,Topaz In My Eyes, Nyah1, IrishBoysareHott, cleopatra32003, Jade Opal, babyhilts, Threnody Shepherd, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, azzi, smite the mighty, icydragon14, penscratch and I Fancy Hugh Dancy. Enjoy and tell me what you think but I have a good hand that some readers are gonna be pissed off.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-five**

**Settling Accounts**

"Bless me father for I have sinned," I began quietly tears filling my eyes. "It's been days since my last confession."

"What have you come to repent for, my son?"

I began to choke back my tears and tilted my head back to rest against the wall. "The death..the death of the woman I loved.."

I heard him gasp quietly but he stopped himself and continued. "My son, did you kill her?"

"No," I began. "But I can't help but feel like I had a hand in it.."

* * *

I stood by looking out the window. Five hours had passed. Something was wrong. I had been waiting here for those two for way too long. Something had to have gone wrong. I began to pace. I was worried about them. How couldn't I be? The stupid wankers had probably gotten into it with someone new now. Seemed like every time we took care of something they'd get into some more trouble. Nothing compared to this. Of that I was certain. 

Finally the door opened. I moved quickly to get to them only to find one of them actually there.

"Where the fuck have you been?" I questioned him looking behind him. "Where the fuck's Tasha?"

Murphy shrugged at me. "Not a fuckin' clue. I went to Doc's and every place to look I could think of," He slammed his fist into the frame. "Goddammit, where the fuck is she!"

"Relax," I shouted back at him. "Call her phone. Maybe Davy came into town and she's hangin' out with her."

"Why didn't you call her then?"

"I'm not the one fuckin' her!" I growled at him. "Besides I thought she was with you most of the day. Just call her dammit."

Murphy ran over to the phone. At least I hadn't gotten my point across. I shook my head though. Da was right about her. Even though we both cared for her deeply, she didn't belong with us. No one did. The only love we were meant to receive was from one-night stands and whores. It wasn't in our power now to actually love anyone.

As our enemies had done in the bloody past they'd use her, over and over again until we were dead. I knew this. We needed to get her out of Boston at least. She could go back to New York and stay with Davy, at least she'd be safe. No that wouldn't work either. They had been drawn to New York last time as well.

My thoughts began to drown me when I noticed Murphy's face. His eyes wide in horror. I moved over to the phone grabbing it from him. I didn't care if it was Tasha I needed to hear what the hell had terrified him.

I could hear the sounds of screams, and punches being thrown. I knew those screams. Natasha.

"I know you know who this is so I won't bring up names," A voice began and the screams continued as he gave instruction on where to go and when.

He hung up and I looked to Murphy. My eyes narrowed, despite the fact I did care for her, she was going to get us or worst herself killed,

"That does it," I threw the phone and pointed at Murphy. "You! Goddammit you should of gotten rid of her earlier!" He began to protest but I screamed over him. "Our lives are gonna get her killed! They'll just keep fuckin' with us by using her over and over again! We'll go after her but you need to get her the fuck out of here dammit! Send her home!"

"Her home is-" Murphy began to put his two cents in.

"I don't give a shit how much you care for her," I grumbled at him. I had to watch them, she was remarkable but her feelings were only for Murph. "Don't fuckin' think you're the only one who loves her!" Murph's eyes grew wide at me. "If you actually loved her so much you'd send her away. Back home! So at least she could have a chance for a normal fuckin' life! Since she's gotten involved with us how many times has she nearly been killed? How many times has she fuckin' killed someone?"

"I tried to get her out of here dammit!" He screamed back at me. "You think I want this fuckin' life for her!"

"Fuckin' bullshit! You obviously haven't tried hard enough!" I told him with a growl. I kicked the table after a moment of silence passed. Mad at myself for letting him know what the hell I thought but then again he needed to know. I pointed at him. "We go, we get her and you tell her to get the fuck out of her and put her in the nearest cab! Got it!"

I knew that Murphy understood, he had too. Keeping Tasha around now was too dangerous. He nodded after a moment of thought. He moved quickly to grab our guns and he tossed me mine.

"What do we tell Da?'

"Nothing," I grumbled hiding my weapons. "He was against this from the beginning. We'll tell him after we get back."

He nodded.

* * *

It took us no time to get to the packing plant. We didn't walk in the normal way though. Taking to the roofs and back alleys. Looking for every one of those wanked scumbags. Murphy went around his own way and I took mine. I moved so I could look inside a window. I could see seven guys at the table at the edge of the room. I could see Natasha. She was collapsed on the floor in the middle of the room. 

"Smart bastards." I muttered to myself. Keeping her in the middle so no matter where we came from we'd have to aim over her. Something seemed wrong about the way she was positioned. She looked so badly misshapen, her neck in an odd position and there was so much blood. I could only pray Murphy wouldn't do anything stupid.

Quietly I moved in closer. I could see a guard outside the door I was heading towards. I got as close to him and the door as I could kill him then move to shoot the others. I heard guns begin to go off.

Dammit Murphy!

The man I was aiming for began to move, I brought my gun up. Striking him in the shoulder and the head. Blood spewed from the wounds and I didn't even take notice as it splattered onto my body. I ran as hard as I could shooting towards the group of men, Murphy had mad short work of them though. All of them were already dead.

I turned and looked up towards the rafters as gunshots still were going off. "Up top!"

Bullets flied, striking them and us. My shoulder was raked with the pain of where I bullet had hit me made me scream. I did all I could to ignore it. I needed to kill these bastards. I just needed to. Whatever they had done to Natasha, just the sight of her like that had created an evil in me. I wasn't killing these men for the greater good, no these men I was killing for me.

I looked to Murphy briefly. He had been shot in the leg twice and he knelt about twenty feet from Natasha. I was then as I looked to Natasha I known something was truly wrong. She hadn't moved an inch. Not an inch from where she was at and her eyes..oh God no.

It only took several seconds to finish off the rest of them. Murphy was already next to her before I had made it to her.

"Tasha?" He began as he crawled beside her. His eyes full of pain from his injuries. I ran beside them. I could only collapse to my knees. Oh god no. "Tasha?" Murphy moved resting his head on her chest. His eyes shut tightly and he screamed her name in vain he looked at me. "Conner!"

I shook my head running my hands through my hair. "God, fuck no.."

"Conner!" I moved myself closer to them. He looked at me his eyes wide in horror. "Conner," He grieved and I looked to her. He held her in his arms, blood covered her body, and her eyes were open and staring blankly. "Oh God! Christ no!"

* * *

"My son," the father began again. "What do you plan to do now?" 

My tears streamed down my face and I gritted my teeth.

My mind raced at all the things that I wished could have been. Instead of it being Murphy holding her in his arms every night, it was me, it was me holding her, keeping her warm in the dark of nights. Kissing her forehead, praying that this would never end. I could never of told her what I wanted though. No, my brother was her love not me but I could do one thing for her.

I looked to the father. "What I've been sent to do."

I stepped out of the confessional and looked to Murphy who knelt in the front row. I walked to him, a single tear streamed down his face. He looked up at me. Only two days had passed since Natasha had been murdered. His heart would take far longer to heal than mine. I never had her love, well not the kind of love I had wanted, and that was Murphy's.

She had loved him enough to die for him.

"Ready?" I questioned him.

He bowed his head once more to the statue of Christ before he stood and we began to walk out towards the street. To continue our work as long as we lived.

_And Shepherds we shall be For thee, my Lord, for thee. _

_Power hath descended forth from Thy hand Our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands. _

_So we shall flow a river forth to Thee And teeming with souls shall it ever be._

_ In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti._

_Fin_


End file.
